Travel Tips from a Hotel Employee

Friday, March 31, 2006

iI've been working in hotels for about five years, and have seen a lot of crazy shit in that time. Especially considering I started as a front desk agent. So I've compiled a list of tips for those of you not in the hotel industry, because let's face it- hotel guests, in general, are an idiotic bunch. Hopefully this will keep you from being in that group of moron guests.

When making reservations:

  1. Research. I know that, in our busy lives, most people don't like to have to research hotels; but unless you want to end up in a dump, you need to research the area. Usually Sheraton, Marriott, Westin, Hilton, Hyatt, and Doubletree are your safest bets if you are looking for a nice hotel at a reasonable rate. However, if the hotel is a franchise, it may be a little below par. But even franchises have to keep up with brand standards, so even if it is a franchised hotel, chances are it will still be ok. One thing that may really help is the Trip Advisor website. You can read reviews from other travelers, so it can save you from staying in a shithole. However, try to keep an open mind when reading the reviews. If the hotel has all good reviews, then chances are you'll have a great experience. If all of the reviews are bad, STAY AWAY. However, if the hotel has mixed reviews, take the bad reviews with a grain of salt. Chances are that the bad reviews were written by some asshole who wanted Ritz Carlton quality at a Comfort Inn price. Now, Holiday Inns are an anomaly. Most of them are franchises, and Holiday Inn doesn't have strict brand standards, so they are usually the wild card. I have seen some very nice ones, but I have seen far more of them that were dumps. That's when Trip Advisor comes in handy.
  2. Making reservations. I cannot stress this enough. Unless you are booking your hotel and flight together, do not use a third party site (Expedia, Travelocity, Priceline, etc.). Here's the thing. They all promise the lowest rates. In fact, all sites have a "Best Rate Guarantee." Which means that you will get the exact same rate on all of those sites that you will get on the hotel's site. The difference is that if for some reason you need to cancel your reservation, you will have much better luck if you booked through the hotel's website. With most of the third party websites, you will have to jump through hoops to even talk to a person and explain your situation and ask for a refund. Even then, chances are they will not refund your money. However, if you book through the hotel's website, and need to cancel, you most likely will be able to call the hotel and have a much better chance of getting your money refunded. I have heard SO many horror stories about 3rd party sites.
  3. You know that Hotels.com commercial where they "send in the experts?" Bullshit. In my five years with hotels, I have never seen a Hotels.com person come to the hotel and inspect it. All of the information that they get about the hotel (distance from airport, local attractions, etc) they get from the hotel. I know this because I have had to update information for Hotels.com.
  4. If you still don't listen to me and book through one of these sites and then try to call them and get your money refunded, don't go crying to the hotel and begging for a refund. The hotel doesn't have your money. Expedia (or Travelocity, etc.) has your money. In fact, the hotel doesn't get paid until you check out. So, even if we want to, we cannot refund your money. Take your beef up with the website that you booked through. Leave us out of it.
  5. You would not believe how much a profit these third party sites are making off your reservations. You may be paying $200 a night for your room, but the third party site you booked through is paying the hotel FAR less than that. Especially Priceline. I am not allowed to say how much Priceline is paying the hotel, but trust me, they are making a HUGE profit. Someone at Priceline sold his soul to get the deal that they have with hotels. I can tell you, though, that they are generally making anywhere between a 40% to 80% profit on any rooms they book.
  6. Hotel rates vary depending on demand. So don't call a hotel and argue your rate just because you got a lower rate the last time you stayed. Only the shitty hotels have "fixed rates." You know those hotels that you see along major interstates that have huge signs that say $39/night? That's because no one at that hotel knows how to maximize profit. Also, you get what you pay for. You want a room for under $50 a night? Unless you work for a particular hotel chain and get the great perk of employee rates, you will be staying in a shithole.
I was going to outline the whole shebag in one post, but this is already too long. So it looks like these will all be separate posts. Next up: Checking In; Your Room; Checking Out; and After Your Stay.

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WAY too funny not to post

Thursday, March 30, 2006

So Fauxy has a post today with some rather hilarious Craigslist personal ads. And, not to steal her thunder, but this one was just WAY too funny...I absolutely HAD to re-post it for all of you. So here goes:

Cocky Arrogant Republican Wants To Seduce Liberal Tree Huggin Girl - m4w


Reply to: xxxxxxxxx
Date: 2006-03-29, 9:36PM EST


You hate them...republicans, there would be nothing more disgusting to you to have some war lovin gas guzzlin republican use your body, why you wouldnt knowingly date one...but at the same time that the idea of these Bush donating hands touching you, the revulsion also excites you....the idea of this tall strong well built man taking you for the pure pleasure of his carnal expansionism makes you a bit weak in the knees...you would certainly have to take a shower afterwards..you couldnt tell anyone how I grabbed your hair telling you what a naughty little Mother Earthin Sl_t you were...spanking your ass until you screamed out that you want my GOP hot load...

and you know your fingers will lightly trace the bruises from my strong hands in the morning....and you will toy with the idea of sending me an email or even trying to convert me....but one thing is certain, you will want more.

Tall sensual erudite republican, european, muscled, white house christmas card displaying bastard that can't find a republican girl in this town who is wild and nasty like you luscious liberals...and kinda likes it when he keeps hearing, "I cant believe I have fallen for a fuckin republican"...hehehe

If we hit it off, I promise to agree with your politics around your friends and family.


This has got to be the funniest Craigslist ad I have ever seen. I just hope it was meant to be funny and he isn't serious.

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I've been tagged...again

Thanks to Tara for this one. Hey, at least it keeps my mind off all of the unbelievably hot marines that are wandering around my hotel.

1) What were you doing 10 Years Ago?
I was getting ready to graduate from high school.. Fuck I'm old!

2) 5 Years Ago?
I was living in Pennsylvania, waiting tables after college.

3) 1 Year Ago?
Living here in VA, working in Georgetown. Doing alot better than five years ago, that's for sure.

4) Five snacks you enjoy:
- Spree Candy
- Wheat Thins & Cheese
- REAL chocolate..the European kind, not the crappy American chocolate
- Wasabi Peas
- Chex Mix

5) Five songs I know by heart but wish I didn’t:
- No No No (Destiny's Child)
- You Oughta Know (Alanis Morisette)
- Black Cat (Janet Jackson)
- Crazy (Britney Spears)
- Cold Hearted Snake (Paul Abdul)

6) Five things I would do with a LOT of money:
- Quit my job(same here Nicole & Tara!)
- Travel to Exotic Islands
- Pick some random charities and give a bunch to them
- Have a Blogger reunion on a cruise ship to the Caribbean
- Buy my Mom anything she wants

7) Five things I would never wear:
- Anything with ruffles and bows
- Spandex
- Stirrups (never again)
- "Daisy Dukes"
- The "Roach Brooch"

8) Five things I should never have worn:
-Stirrup pants
-Shoulder Pads
-anything with ruffles and bows
-Tube tops
-overall shorts (yeah, I was guilty of it too)

9) Five things I enjoy doing: (my list is the same as Tara's)
- Spending money on useless crap
- Writing
- Spending time with friends and laughing at stupid stuff
- Listening and dancing to music
- Cat-petting (same here Nicole!)

10) Five bad habits:
- Spending money on useless crap
- Dating men that are bad for me
- calling or IMing my ex's
- Procrastinating
- Spend too much time at the computer

11) Five people that must fill this out:
-Kirsten (it's a good thing you love me)
-Bad at Life
-Dade
-Cody
damn...I'm out of people...everyone else has already done it

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Mmmmm...Heaven!!!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I am on cloud nine today. There is a Military Intelligence conference at my hotel. Let me break this down for you:

Of the 800 or so attendees, probably about 20% are civilian contractors or government (non-military) employees. That leaves about 650 military personnel.

Let's say that only about 5% of them are enlisted (non-officers)...most in the intelligence field are officers. That leaves about 615 military officers.

Not very many officers in intelligence are women (I know...that's a travesty, but it works for me at the moment)...so let's say about 10% are women. Now we're down to about 550 male military officers.

Now, a military uniform makes almost anyone more attractive, but let's say 50% of them are above a 5 on the scale. So that's about 275 reasonably attractive male military officers.

So now you can see why I am so happy and spending as much time away from my office as possible!! Oh Heaven!!!

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To the Nice Guys (there must be some of you out there)

Monday, March 27, 2006

To every guy who knows which girl he wants.
To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful."
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that did what she wanted to do.
To every guy that cried in front of her.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to be able to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that wasn't just trying to get laid.
To every guy that actually listened.
To every guy that gave his heart only to have it shoved back in his face.
TO EVERY GUY THAT PRAYS THAT SHE IS HAPPY EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT WITH HER.
This one is for you guys...Not all girls appreciate nice guys. There are not many left out there... So fuck the girls who don't appreciate you because they're missing out.

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No more

Sunday, March 26, 2006

I give up. I really mean it this time. I was supposed to have a date tonight. We've never met. We chatted on IM and things seemed great. We were supposed to meet tonight. He said to call him @ 7:45, so I did. No answer. Left him a voicemail. It is now 9:10. No word from him. I saw him online on myspace, so I know there wasn't some tragic accident or anything.

What the fuck??! Why do I attract guys that treat me like shit? Is it too much to ask for someone who actually considers my feelings? Or who wants to spend time with me??

No more of this shit. I can't take any more rejection or disappointment. This fucking sucks. I am going to be single for the rest of my life.

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Happy Birthday Cody!!

Hi everyone....if you get a chance today, please stop by Cody's blog and wish him a very happy birthday!

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Dumbest Idea Ever

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Not sure if you all have heard about this yet, but the newest trend in jewelry is the "roach brooch." This has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. The last hotel I worked at was in Georgetown, and while the property values in Georgetown are completely outrageous, there is a huge cockroach problem. I used to see roaches in our parking garage whose sheer size would scare most people. And those were normal cockroaches. Yet some genius decided to use Madagascar Hissing cockroaches (MUCH larger than your normal, garden-variety roaches), attach "jewels' with a hot glue gun, and market them to idiotic "trend addicts" as jewelry. What I want to know is who the hell is buying these. Here's an idea: go to any city apartment building, find yourself a cockroach, buy a "bedazzler" and make your own roach broach. What's worse is that people are paying $80 per roach. Are you kidding me??!! I personally have no desire to have one of these crawling all over me:

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Eliminations

Thursday, March 23, 2006

First, American Idol:

Bye bye Chicken Little.

I definitely agreed with the bottom 3 this week: Lisa, Bucky, and Kevin; however, I think I would have sent Bucky home before Kevin. Sure, Kevin's annoying, but I can't stand looking at Bucky's ugly semi-mullet and f'ed up teeth. Luckily, he will most certainly be going home soon. He's my pick for the next elimination. And Lisa is way too damn boring. Sure, she has a decent voice, and is much more polished than most of the other contestants, but she has absolutely no personality.

Second, America's Next Top Model:

One of my favorites, Kari was sent home. Can you believe that the judges actually told her that she needed to work out and "tone up??" She's 5'8" and MAYBE 110 lbs. Unbelievable.

One of the things that pisses me off, too, is that Jade (the heinous bitch) actually did well in the photo shoot and wasn't even considered for the bottom two. Dammit. I think Nicole was right: they'll keep her around just for the ratings.

Like I've said before: I watch WAY too much damn reality tv.

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Are you kidding me??!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

There is a landmark legal battle of constitutional proportions being fought down in Mississippi. It involves fundamental rights protected by the First and Fourteenth Amendments, not to mention the rights of certain small business owners to satisfy their customers. This week, another court refused to recognize Mississippians' right to find companionship for $29.99 and so a law outlawing the sale of sex toys will stand.
"A person commits the offense of distributing unlawful sexual devices when he knowingly sells, advertises, publishes or exhibits to any person any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs or offers to do so or possesses such devices with the intent to do so."
Well, I am glad to see that the local legislators are focusing on the most pressing issues of the day. I've long believed that a three-dimensional, possibly battery-operated device is far more menacing than a handgun. In Mississippi, people can buy guns at a gun show with no background check and certain weapons can be carried almost anywhere. Sure, guns and toys can bring joy and a sense of comfort to the user, but apparently the legislators concluded that a genital replica is a far greater threat to society.
This, from a state that levies only an 18-cent tax on cigarettes, 55 cents below the national average and where 62 percent of residents are overweight, making it the fattest state in the country. Yet still the public schools don't make gym class compulsory. Mississippi's laws would make you believe sex is the single greatest threat to public safety and well-being. After all, it's illegal in Mississippi to have sex with someone you're not married to or to live with someone other than your spouse.
Both can result in a $500 fine and six months in jail. And men are not permitted to be aroused in public. But at least good people are protected from the disfigurement that could result from an accidental electrical overload from a defective toy.
Georgia and Texas have passed similar bans and courts have repeatedly ruled the legislators have the power to do it. I guess the Second Amendment doesn't say anything about the right to bear a stimulation device.
But the sex activists are not closing up shop in the South Pole just yet. They formed a lobbying group based in Florida called the National Alliance of Adult Trade Organizations or NAATO. Not, of course, to be confused with the other NATO, which is based in Brussels.
I don't mean to pick on Mississippi. I love the state and the people, but I just don't get why the legislators are fighting so hard for this law. We're talking about adults here. It's not that I really care about ensuring that these toys are ready accessible. Really. It's just that you have to wonder, is one of these toys really a greater threat to the community than what real live people do to each other every day?

This has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I didn't even realize having sex with someone you aren't married to or living with somone other than your spouse was illegal there too. I really don't have anything else to say, other than: What. The. Fuck.

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Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

It's the big 5-0 for my mom, and she doesn't look a day over 40. In fact, no one ever believes she's old enough to have a 28 year-old daughter. I hope to god I age as well as she has.

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Happy St. Patty's Day!!

Friday, March 17, 2006

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Two Disappointments

Thursday, March 16, 2006

So last night's TV was very disappointing. Two eliminations that were a little upsetting.

First, American Idol- Melissa definitely shouldn't have been the first to go. I was really surprised that the bottom 3 were her, Ace and Lisa. Sure, Lisa is boring, but Ace and Melissa?? Come on people. Bucky seriously needs to go, as does Kevin. Couldn't believe it. Melissa may have forgotten the lyrics, but she definitely performed better than Kellie. Just goes to show- voting is based on likeability, not on performances.



Bye Melissa. We'll miss you.

Second, America's Next Top Model. A recent addiction of mine brought about by VH1's constant re-play of all 5 previous seasons.

Wendy was a very likeable, unique contestant. At first glance, she doesn't look very attractive, but there is something very unique and exotic about her. And her pictures were great. Also, I felt so bad for her- the show was filmed last fall, during Katrina, and as Wendy was a native of New Orleans, her family lost everything. Heartbreaking story. The judges kept saying that she was expressionless in all of her photos, that it seemed her mind was somewhere else. Of course it was, you idiots!! She has no home to go back to!!



The lowest two were Wendy and Jade. Jade gives new meaning to heartless bitch. She makes Amorosa look like Mother Theresa. She is so unbelievably cocky, and truly believes that she is going to win. She keeps telling all of the other models how beautiful they are, then, when alone with the camera, bitches about how she can't believe that all of these 'ugly' girls are in the competition with her. Honestly, I really do not think she is attractive, and her attitude makes her ugly. But judge for yourselves:



My final 2 for American Idol? Chris and either Mandisa or Kellie




And my favorites for ANTM? Gina, Leslie, and Kari.



God, I'm a reality tv addict.

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Crazy friends

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I finally realize why I've been feeling like such a basket-case lately: I have no crazy friends.

In junior high I learned the importance of the crazy friend. If you are even slightly off-balance, this friend is essential. While you are dealing with whatever neurosis ails you- OCD in my case, the crazy friend is talking to ants, spinning around in circles, or licking windows. Or, if you're lucky, you'll have a few crazy friends. That way, you are the sane one of the group. There is nothing quite as comforting as being the sane one in your group of friends. Now, I am not saying to get rid of your sane friends- afterall, if you are around crazies all the time, it's bound to rub off on you.

But hanging around the crazies doesn't come without a cost. That cost being drama. And lots of it. One of the crazies from my past was this guy I worked with at a restaurant in college. Mike was really good looking and very sweet. He got me (probably b/c he was crazier than me). This guy had some heavy shit going on in his personal life. His girlfriend (who lived with him and also worked at the same restaurant) had cheated on him. With his best friend. Who also worked with us. Think that's bad? It was a threesome with another co-worker. A female co-worker. Yeah, pretty messed up. He was on every anti-depressant imaginable. He was still willing to try to make things work with her.

I felt bad for him. Until I realized that he was an idiot. He kept going back for more. (I know- who am I to talk). And he fed off everyone feeling sorry for him. He wallowed in self-pity.

Even still, I was attracted to him and we had some chemistry. We kept fighting it, worried it would ruin things if we acted on it. Then one night we were both extremely drunk. He wanted to come back to my place. I distinctly remember asking "are you sure?" I don't remember the hookup that night, but the next morning when we woke up and realized what we had done, his response was "well, we already hooked up. We may as well do it again so we remember whether or not it was good." And it was. Very good.

After that, he got really weird around me. He didn't call anymore. He quit his job and moved back to Phily with his mom. A few months later, I saw him on AIM, so I messaged him. He suddenly started laying into me for "ruining our friendship." What. The. Fuck. So I stopped caring about his feelings and put it all on the table. Told him that it takes two, and reminded him that HE was the one who initiated. He said he was drunk and I took advantage of him. WHAT??!! I was just as drunk, if not more so. I also reminded him that he wasn't so drunk the next morning when he suggested we do it again. Twice.

The moral of the story? Crazies are great for your self-esteem. As long as you don't get caught up in any of their drama.

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MySpace Wierdos

Saturday, March 11, 2006

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Yeah...so...

I'm in mourning....Wednesday night our power flickerred a few times. Well, aparently it was a power surge- which fried my laptop. Caput. Not fixable. So this morning I went to the place where I bought it- a small store (not open to the public) which supplies A/V equipment for hotels. Luckily, the guy took pity on me and gave me $150 towards the trade-in on a new one (semi-new), and he's going to try and recover some of the files off my old one. I am praying that some of it will be recoverable- all of my music and pictures were on that. I'm going to cry :-(

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Annoying Radio

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Recently I've noticed that there seem to be a lot more annoying songs on the radio. Granted, I'm a top-40 listener, so there will always be annoying songs in that category, but it seems that lately I have had to change the station more times than I can count during my 9 to 5. Some of the annoying songs that make me want to throw the radio out the window:

1. Nickelback- Photograph. This one is finally dying down, but it still gets played at least twice a day. I really wish 99.5 would play the much better current Nickelback song, 'Figured You Out.' Now, I know it only gets played on DC101 (DC's rock station), and some of the whiney Britney-loving fans of the station will probably bitch about some of the lyrics ("I like your pants around your feet.""I like the dirt that's on your knees" "I like the way you still say please when you're looking up at me." "I like the white stains on your dress." But seriously, if a rapper put the same exact lyrics in a song, I can guarantee it would be played in a constant 30-minute rotation.
2. Juelz Santana- There It Go! (aka. the Whistle Song). I f#&%ing hate this song. I have never in my life heard such stupid garbage as this crap. Besides being an absolute waste of the energy it takes for me to change the station, it floors me that this moron could get a recording contract, and sell records! It is constantly in the top 10 and gets more radio play than it deserves.
3. Beyonce- Check On It. Most. Annoying. Song. Ever. Not to mention the dumbest lyrics. Beyonce's constant repeating of the phrase "check on it" makes me wish I was deaf. Normally, I like Beyonce's music. But this song is complete crap.
4. Anything by Eminem. Am I the only one who is so tired of hearing the shit he tries to pass off as "music"? I cannot believe that people actually look up to that woman-hating, wife-beater-wearing, thinks he's black, skinny white trash. Newsflash Em- just because you grew up in Detroit and rap does not make any less pasty. And women think he's sexy!??!! Come on!
Ok, enough ranting today. Sorry, but I'm tired and bitchy today.

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Yeah, Pretty much

Monday, March 06, 2006

I got this off Kirsten's blog, and it definitely is me:

You are a Retrospective Soul

You Are a Retrospective Soul
The most misunderstood of all the soul signs.Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are.You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life.You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor.
Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily.But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes.For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present.You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life.
Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

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Mardi Gras

Friday, March 03, 2006

Gotta love Mardi Gras:

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