Stupid question of the day

Thursday, December 14, 2006

A very annoying, very slow client called me four times this morning, each question dumber than the previous. Perhaps the worst one:

Client (asking about her group's reservations): "You don't make separate reservations for the couples?"

Me: "No, if it's a couple with the same last name, we just make one reservation."

Client: "But how does the front desk know that they are a couple? Do they ask if they are husband and wife?"

At this point I had to put her on hold, laugh my ass off, compose myself, then pick up the phone again.

Me: "No, the front desk doesn't ask them. If they have one reservation and the same last name and are sharing a room, it's a pretty safe assumption that they are a couple."

Client (not even realizing how idiotic her questions were): "But what if they don't have the same last name, but are sharing a room?"

Me: "then, as you can see from the rooming list we sent you, we make two separate reservations, even if they are sharing a room."

Client: "about the rooming list, how do I know that the two people (names) are in the comp suites we requested?"

Me: "because in the rate column, instead of the group rate, it says $0." (thinking) duh.

Seriously? I hope this woman doesn't work around any sharp objects or heavy machinery.


Anonymous,  12/14/2006 12:33:00 PM  

At this point I had to put her on hold, laugh my ass off, compose myself, then pick up the phone again.

I've had to do this on many occasions because our customers are the most idiotic people I've encountered.

Me: "What's your ZIP code?"
Customer: "202."
Me: "That's an area code...what's your ZIP code?"
Customer: "I told you...202."
Me: "I need your ZIP code...the five-digit number at the end of your address."
Customer: "Oh, you mean my MAILING ZIP code!"

And another...

Customer: "My daughter has this's called a computer!"
(A lot of our customers are poorly educated---many barely past eighth grade---and live in rural, isolated environments, so technology like a computer and Internet is new to them.)

And some of their names have me putting them on hold for a few minutes:

Me: "What's your name, ma'am?"
Customer: "Oddie ___________."
Me: "One moment please..."

I put her on hold and laughed in hysterics. Who names their child "Oddie"? What kind of crack do these people smoke?!

Kris 12/14/2006 01:08:00 PM  

Or have children or pets or plants. ;)

Brock 12/14/2006 01:17:00 PM  

Golden Silence: I met a guy named Odie - it's short of Odysseus, which is way more badass. I suspect it's a lot easier for a little kid to be Odie than Odysseus, and it just sticks.

Anonymous,  12/14/2006 01:27:00 PM  

"Odie" is one thing (used to it from "Garfield")...but "Oddie"?!

Anonymous,  12/14/2006 02:38:00 PM  

It must be painful to have to deal with people like that on a regular basis. I'm constantly amazed by the amount of stupidity in the world. Amazed and pumped because stupid people are comic gold mines.

Anonymous,  12/14/2006 03:02:00 PM  

Yep Eric. Dealing with stupid people on a daily basis kills my brain cells.

Carrie M 12/14/2006 07:03:00 PM  

i think we all share some similar clients. my favorite is when they call and ask for a price, phone number, whatever, and i'll ask them, do you have the x publication?

yes, but i thought you could just tell me and it would be faster.

uh huh. this is clearly faster than looking in the TABLE OF CONTENTS. jesus.

Anonymous,  12/14/2006 08:58:00 PM  

I work for a professional organization where all of the members are attorneys. Everyone in my office deals with them on the phone, every day.

At least once a week, someone puts the telephone receiver down after a particularly insane exchange and utters our office motto aloud:

"I'm glad he's not MY lawyer."

I'm thinking of having it printed on shirts

Anonymous,  12/14/2006 10:00:00 PM  

my mom can't help it that she is a little slow. you did comp her rooms though, right?

Anonymous,  12/15/2006 06:42:00 AM  

Do these people have the ability to clone? I swear I met the same woman during one of my recent forays to Florida.

Ricardo 12/15/2006 11:07:00 AM  

Why is she so concerned by this? Is she trying to see if a spouse is cheating or something?

Anonymous,  12/18/2006 07:17:00 PM  

lol oh noooo. that's hilarious! shit like that happens to me allll the time.

Anonymous,  12/18/2006 08:43:00 PM  

Golden S:
Oddie (First Name Origin and Meaning)

Variant of Odo: Wealth.
While it is male. Most "american" names that end in a vowel tend to be given to females. So..

Sex & Moxie 12/19/2006 04:47:00 PM  

I so feel your pain. I get questions like that all the time. The worst is when they ask a question, you give them the anser and they say, "But I thought I read somewhere that it said blah blah blah."

"No, it's blah blah" I say.

"Oh...because I'm pretty sure I saw it somewhere else for blah blah blah blah."

They eseentially are asking the same question over and over hoping to wear you down so you'll give them the answer they want.

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