The grunter, the strutter and the non-wiper

Thursday, July 19, 2007


I am lucky enough to work somewhere with a decent gym which is hardly used. So every day, I spend my lunch break there, sweating my ass off. Normally, there's no one there during this time. However, sometimes I'm lucky to be in the company of some of the most annoying gym personalities. Today was one of those times. I was just going about my business, going through my triathlon of cardio equipment- elliptical, bike and treadmill (running, of course).

Now, I'm not one to criticize other people in the gym, unless they're real assholes. This guy walks in, wearing a wife-beater and a huge silver chain. As he strutted past me, I couldn't help but notice the air of cockiness coupled with the fact that the guy was nothing special- and certainly not built. But whatever. I go about my workout, trying to burn as many calories possible. He starts lifting, and right away he's grunting. Grunting is one of the single most annoying thing you can do in the gym. Then, he starts making all kinds of obscene noises- noises that sound like they belong in the bedroom, not in the gym. By this point, I can't hear the tv over him, so I paused the treadmill and turned up the volume on CNN. Oh, and another loathesome quality- he did not wipe down a single piece of equipment. Disgusting.

The bedroom noises went on for over 30 minutes. I was getting more and more annoyed. The even more annoying part was that (keep in mind that all of the walls are mirrored) every time he walked around, he stared at himself in the mirror. He even stopped to...are you ready for this....flex in front of the mirror. So, as I was switching from the treadmill to the bike, I passed one of the weight machines that he had been using. As I glanced at the weights, expecting to see something like 240 lbs, I was shocked. He was lifting 40 pounds. He wasn't grunting and groaning while lifting 240 pounds, he was lifting less than my grandmother lifts.

After seeing that, I glanced at him (flexing in the mirror) and couldn't help myself. I sat at the machine, changed the weight to 80 pounds, and lifted 3 sets of 12 with barely more than a loud exhale.

The only thing worse than an arrogant meathead is an arrogant guy who thinks he's a meathead. The thing that bugs me is that this guy obviously wants everyone in the vicinity to see/hear him and be impressed. Next time, he should probably lift a little more than 40 pounds. Because, as Shania said, "that don't impress me much."

But then again, there's only one (very amazing) man that impresses me :-)

1 comments:

Ricardo 7/27/2007 11:15:00 AM  

You gotta admit, he is a one of a kind. Think he'll get a reality show.

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