Don't Hate the Player....

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

...I certainly do hate the game.  I've never been one to play games.  I'm a very "what you see is what you get" kind of gal.  And I pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve.  (Let's see how many more cliches I can squeeze in).  I have no p-p-p-poker face.

Okay, enough with the cliches, but it's all true.  Dating has always been tough for me, since I am not what you would call "mysterious."  If I like someone, I tell them.  And if I really like him, I want to be around him and talk to him.  I've never been a fan of the "leave them wanting more" philosophy.  That being said, it's becoming clear (yes, after 32 years, it's finally becoming clear) that maybe I'm approaching dating in the wrong way. 

While it has always been my policy to be as honest as possible and hope for the same in return, I rarely receive that honesty from the other person.  In fact, if my honesty doesn't scare the guy away from the start, he typically either thinks of me as "just a friend," or, if he's a dick, thinks of me as someone he can screw with.  And I let it happen.  I have opened myself up to this over and over again.  What was it that Einstein said about insanity? "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

That being said, I think it's time to finally get in the game.  Unfortunately, I have no idea how to do it.  I've talked previously about someone I liked and the odd situation we were in...which by the way has gotten even more weird (another story for another time).  What I would like to do is get the "power" back in this situation by keeping my cards a little closer to my chest.  The problem is- even if I do get the opportunity to do this, I'm not sure I can.  I think that a huge part of my charm (ahem- don't laugh) is my openness and quirkiness.  I will tell people almost anything.  So how do I stop myself from doing that without making our dates completely boring?  What in the hell will we talk about if I'm not telling him about walking into a door frame in front of my company's CEO?  And how the hell do I stop myself from analyzing every aspect of every date?


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