Blue Monday

Monday, October 09, 2006

Yours truly is feeling pretty down today. My mom was here this weekend, and we had a great time, but I always get a little sad when she leaves (or when I leave her house). But that's only one part of my blue Monday.

Someone said (texted) something to me this weekend that I'm completely confused about. I'm torn about whether to let it get to me. What they said was just one word, "don't," but considering what I had sent them, it's completely perplexing and really hurt my feelings. My mom, ever the optimist, tried to come up with some less-scathing explanation as to what it meant, but my roommate (who's as jaded as I am) agreed with me- that she would be upset if she were in my position. So, being the OCD- mess that I am, needless to say, it's been bugging me since Saturday night. It would be one thing if I didn't like/care about the person, but I do. Just wish I knew what he meant.

I realize this is cryptic, but it's meant to be. I don't know any other way to put it without putting the person it's in reference to on the spot. But hopefully that person will read and offer some logical (and not hurtful) explanation. Or, maybe I just need to develop thicker skin and not let things bother me.

**Edit: And to top things off, I found out this weekend that my Great-Great Aunt, Aunt Mac- the cornerstone of the family, the person who sent gifts for every birthday, graduation, wedding, etc- passed away last week. She had just turned 100 in July- and was still just as sharp as when she was young. Rest in peace, Aunt Mac.

So, for your viewing (and listening) pleasure; and since it's a blue Monday for me- another kind of Blue Monday:

Or, better yet, my favorite new(er) song; since I'm blue and it's October, Blue October:

(this song almost always makes me cry)


Rachel 10/09/2006 01:56:00 PM  

I will have to check out that song. I have no sound at work so I will have to wait.
I tend to be in a pretty positive mood at work. It is the getting up and getting ready part that I dread every day.

The Furtive Wangler 10/09/2006 02:54:00 PM  

I can't offer any advice. But when texting in the past I've tried to say something and had to delete it because texting really is a limited form of communication for some things. I just ended up sending something else that was easier to type in. Also, sometimes there isn't time to think up a better reply. Hope this helps in some way, and chin up, keep smiling blue!

minijonb 10/09/2006 02:56:00 PM  

whenever i have a Blue Monday, i try to think of the kick-ass song by New Order (later covered by Orgy) with that title, and eventually i feel a little better.

Tara 10/09/2006 03:34:00 PM  

I'm so sorry about the passing of your great aunt, Ash. From how you described her, she sounded like a very likeable person.

As for the text, I agree with FW..If someone sends a vague, sharp text message, it can be very hard to read into it. I would be the same way, though, I'd be thinking about it constantly, wondering what was going on. I hope a tactful explanation is in the near future!

KassyK 10/09/2006 08:07:00 PM  

I am so sorry about losing your great aunt. Mine died 3 years ago and I was very, very close with her so I understand and my condolences to you and your family.

I am so sorry that you are sad as well...if there is anything I can do--don't hesitate to ask.

Also--that song is literally the convo my ex of 6 1/2 years and I had over and over when we were breaking up. (Him saying it to me)...when I first heard it and heard the part were he says,

"And she whispered how could you do that to me"

I literally went down in a mess of sobbing tears. I hadn't cried for 2 months after the breakup. That song is VERY close to my heart.

The Husband 10/10/2006 08:24:00 AM  

ps- sorry to hear about your aunt. i can't believe she made it to 100! that is awesome.

nicole 10/10/2006 08:21:00 PM  

Aww, I'm so sorry to hear about your Great-Great Aunt!!! :(

And I'm sure whatever that message was about? I'd assume the worst, too. It's just what I'm good at. But I'm not good at that "thicker skin" thing so you're in GREAT company.

White Dade 10/12/2006 06:27:00 PM  

Ash, I like your stories but can you please elaborate on stuff a little? I know you odn't want to get in trouble with your friends or whatever, but your stories make very little sense and woudl be a TON better if I knew waht the fuck they meant. Just a request from a reader...

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