Hypothetical Situation....Or, How to Ruin What Could Be

Monday, September 25, 2006

I went back and forth about whether or not to post this (don't want to hurt someone's feelings, yadda, yadda, yadda), but since it's just a hypothetical situation, what's the harm? And if my tires are slashed after work tomorrow, I'll know who to blame.

This is one for you guys- a little advise from a lady. Say you are interested in a woman. Say you've hung out with her once or twice- on a purely friendship basis. And say (hypothetically) she comes into the bar you work at with her co-workers pretty often for happy hour. Now, say you've made it clear to her that you think she's pretty great (you tell her she's sexy, intelligent, and funny...the whole package). Also, (hypothetically- of, course) her co-worker (whom she is friends with) basically throws herself at you, sending you naked pics and telling you that she wants a friends with benefits situation.

Now, I'm not saying not to take the co-worker up on her offer, but if you are really into girl #1, it may not be the best idea to tell her about co-worker's offer. And it may be an even worse idea to tell girl #1 that if you don't have a chance with her, you are going to have sex with co-worker. Doing this may ruin any chance that you may have possibly had with girl #1.

An even worse idea- continuously texting girl #1 (when she has told you that she has a horrible toothache, is in a lot of pain, and hasn't slept in 3 days) at 1 AM, basically begging her to stop you from going to co-worker's place for a late-night booty call, saying things like "on my way to her place. last chance to stop me," and "in her parking lot, last chance," and "at her door, last chance," and "fine. be that way." She texts back "I'm trying to fucking sleep. Do what you want." Texting back "See ya!" and "we're to the point of insults...I won't burden you any further. HAVE A GOOD LIFE!!!!" along with even more various messages, basically telling her she's a complete bitch, probably won't get you in her pants.

Here comes the advise- if you really like her to begin with- don't tell her that her co-worker (whom you claim to have no interest in) wants you, and unless girl #1 tells you to come over (after midnight, when she's in pain, and the two of you haven't even had sex- ever), you are going to go to her co-worker's to get laid. Unless girl #1 has absolutely no self-esteem, I can guarantee you won't like her answer. And if you really liked her in the first place, you wouldn't have even put her in that situation to begin with. You would have given her the space she needs after she told you that she wasn't sure whether or not she was interested in anything other than friendship with you.

And if you put her in that situation, and sent about 50 texts in the span of about 2 hours, ranging from understanding to desperate to bitter to irate, you are most certainly going to come off as a psycho-lunatic stalker.

This is, of course, a purely hypothetical situation. And if you happen to read the girl's blog, and read a hypothetical situation that sounds pretty damn familiar, then I'm sorry, but take it as a lesson learned. Psychotic behavior is psychotic behavior- no matter how nice of a guy you claim to be. Next time you'll know better. Like a girl? Don't tell her that you want to fuck her co-worker. And that hypothetical girl is probably just happy she has some more sane options in her life.

*Note- this girl is starting to realize how psycho she must have seemed when things started going really badly with Mark.....and will never again send angry text messages to a guy she really likes.


allan 9/25/2006 07:41:00 PM  

Yea, I find sending angry text messages to guys I want to date never works for me :)

Rachel 9/25/2006 08:22:00 PM  

Reason #782 why I don't text.

PRSlaveDC 9/26/2006 07:50:00 AM  

Ugh, reading posts like these just continually makes me hate my own gender... what the F???

Guys suck...

Eric 9/26/2006 08:51:00 AM  

I always find it funny how people feel some sort of obligation to someone they're not yet dating. I guess one could give the guy credit for trying to do what he thought was the right thing (before he clearly went psycho of course) but why should someone not sleep with someone else becuase they have feelings for a third person that they aren't dating. Especially when the girl offers a no strings attached deal. Just stop sleeping with the girl you don't like once the girl you do like returns shows signs of reciprocation.

I'm not sure that even makes sense what I just said. Basically people sometimes feel a need to monogomous with a person they're not even in a relationship with and it's strange to me.

Sweet 9/26/2006 09:21:00 AM  

Ugh that totally sucks. Texting never leads to any good.

DCVita 9/26/2006 09:52:00 AM  

Ummm sounds like that guy and the co-worker deserve each other! Girl #1 can do so much better. I am glad she had the balls to basically tell it like it is! ;)

minijonb 9/26/2006 02:48:00 PM  

Girl, you rock... and Mr. Hypothetical needs to grow up.

Ally 9/26/2006 10:27:00 PM  

While it's very immature and ill-advised, I can see what the psycho guy was thinking--that he could speed up your interest in him by making you jealous by considering your co-worker's offer and clearly his pride just couldn't bear the thought of you rejecting him (and not stopping him). I'll give that approach about a 95% chance of never working. Oh well, the upside is that he revealed his psychosis very early on and before you wasted any time with him.

Johnny 9/27/2006 09:46:00 AM  

The friend sending naked pics to a guy she barely knows? Talk about no self-respect. And he's just a player. Steer clear of both of them.

The Husband 9/27/2006 10:21:00 AM  

wow...thats a real Love Triangle if i've ever seen one.

Aliecat 9/27/2006 06:53:00 PM  

NOt to nitpick, but you should have just turned your phone off...and then drove over there and shoved it up his ass...

nicole 9/27/2006 07:35:00 PM  

Yeah, this guy was DEFINITELY not the pinnacle of smooth in this situation. Was this guy a youngun? ;)

Johnson 9/27/2006 08:32:00 PM  

I'd give you some advice but I'm an idiot when it comes to girls or relationships or any kind. I say just go somewhere else, drink some beers and be happy.

Needtsza 9/27/2006 11:31:00 PM  

are you asking if you should (hypothetically) 'settle' on this dood?

if there is a question, you already know the answer and just am looking for a way to rationalize it, no?

The Other Half 9/28/2006 08:46:00 AM  

what a dumbass...i can't believe a guy would actually think that would work

Ashburnite 9/28/2006 07:35:00 PM  

allan- seriously.

rachel- yeah, hope he learned his lesson.

prslave- yeah, some certainly do. but some of you guys are pretty ok :-)

eric- makes total sense. if he had just hooked up with her and not mentioned it to me, there wouldn't have been any drama.

sweet- amen.

dcvita- this hypothetical girl thanks you :-)

mjb- thanks. but you rock!!

ally- yeah, I'm just happy I saw him for what he really was before I was even interested in him.

johnny- yeah, you're probably right.

spacks- there was no love involved there...trust me.

aliecat- haha...yeah, but I like my phone too much. plus, then he would have gotten me over to his place, which was what he wanted.

Ashburnite 9/28/2006 07:37:00 PM  

nicole- ummm..actually, nope. mid-30's. can you believe that??

needtsza- hell no. I am so turned off by this dude now.

angel- seriously.

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