To Tell or Not to Tell

Thursday, September 28, 2006

While I am out of town this weekend, I am going to be thinking. What is the debate that has been running through my head all week? If you'll remember my previous post, I had a pretty eventful weekend last week. So now I've been trying to figure out whether or not to tell "co-worker" about the psycho lunatic.

Some of you may say not to tell her. If she's the kind of girl that just randomly sends naked pictures of herself to a guy she barely knows, enticing him into a fuck-buddy relationship, then that's her problem. While, sometimes I may agree with you, there's one hitch- she and I are semi-friends. While I most certainly wouldn't have a slumber party and braid her hair, telling her my deepest secrets, we share common friends and I do have to work with, in some ways I like her.

There are two possible scenarios here:
1. she didn't send him pictures or tell him about all of the kinky stuff she wanted to do. He may have been lying about it, thinking it would make me jealous (silly boy, it's a little hard to make someone who's not really into you jealous). In which case, she deserves to know that he's telling some very seedy lies about her.

2. He wasn't lying, in which case she should know:
a. that he told me all about her various fetishes...lord knows I wouldn't want someone I was hooking up with telling my co-workers about mine.
b. she should know what a psycho she is hooking up with.

Another reason I am even considering telling her- I don't know what lies he told her about me. And, while I wish I didn't care what people thought about me, I do care. I don't want to be the bad guy.

So what do you guys think?


PRSlaveDC 9/28/2006 08:11:00 PM  

I say stay out of it... if she wants to make a huge mistake, whether she knows its a mistake or not, its not really your problem.

Besides, if you say something, she's liable to do the opposite of your advice just to one-up you, which will only cause to aggravate you more. You don't need that.

And I guess we'll have to get a glass of wine together some other time. ;)

KassyK 9/28/2006 10:11:00 PM  

I'm not sure...they always say don't kill the messenger but as a women I would rather know than not know. I wouldn't give her the down and dirty details, just let her know that he has been talking about it...

The Husband 9/29/2006 08:30:00 AM  

i wouldn't bother bringing it up. have a great weekend!

Sweet 9/29/2006 09:36:00 AM  

Avoid the drama. What's the point? Sounds like you're being a much better friend than she has been to you.

minijonb 9/29/2006 11:14:00 AM  

the only logical solution is to set up a three-way so you can all iron out your differences in the sack

= ; -)

seriously... don't talk about it unless she mentions it. then spill your stories of how psycho he went.

Needtsza 9/29/2006 11:14:00 AM  

amazing. completely similar situation is going on in my world too. I'm gonna sit back and watch the comments on your post.

Good post!

David in DC,  9/29/2006 11:22:00 AM  

Stay out of it.

The most dangerous calls for cops are domestic disputes; people act crazy and try to hurt the good guy.

The guy hurt worst in any bar fight is the guy who tried to break it up.

In yiddish, my grandma would say never argue with a crazy person, people might not be able to tell the difference.

He's definitely crazy; his texting proves that. She's crazy if she sends random naked pics to guys. (Although I wish they had that sort of thing back in the 80's).

If this is all in his psycho head, and she sent no pics and had no hook-up, you're right, she's not crazy and deserves to be warned.

You're in the best position to guess. But your writing so far suggests you think the story seems more than slightly plausible.

Trust your gut. If she's nuts too, stay out of it.

Rachel 9/29/2006 12:30:00 PM  

Ask her in an offhand manner how things are going with psycho boy. If she gets all gushy about him - stay out of it.
If she makes it clear that she isn't interested then you can tell her what he did.
If she is ambivalent just warn her to be careful because you have observed him doing some strange things.
Unless she has the rose colored glasses on you should at least warn her to be cautious. If she is wearing the rose colored glasses she won't listen and will only be resentful.
You don't have to tell you what he did, just make it clear that he is kind of a creep.

team gingerbread 10/03/2006 05:24:00 PM  

Yeah, stay out of it.

I dn't think you'll really gain anything by telling her, and she'll probably end up hating you no matter how nicely you put it.

We always tend to villify the 'other woman'

nicole 10/04/2006 05:52:00 PM  

I'd be too afraid that she was so into this guy she'd flip out on ME. I've heard too many stories of broads who would rather kill the messenger than get out of a bad situation.

Useless Man 10/06/2006 01:55:00 PM  

I learn my life lessons from reality TV shows. In the final four of Big Brother, the boys were playing the girls pretty good until the two girls sat down and talked to each other. Then the guys were screwed.

I'd talk.

But then again, my advice is generally acknowledged as Useless.

Pagan Marbury 3/08/2007 12:31:00 PM  

Don't tell her. It's the quickest way to lose a friend, and this one's a coworker. Plus she will think you're jealous. It's her problem, don't make it yours.

Kilroy_60 9/28/2007 01:08:00 AM  

So pleased that I ran across you. This may prompt me to do another edition of A Hitchhiker's Guide To The Blogosphere. You would definitely be included.

Unless you want to do a link exchange now. We could do that straight away.

As for this post, I say fuck the bastard. Tell her what you know.

Now, about those fetishes you wouldn't want to be told...


Anonymous,  1/29/2008 11:50:00 PM  

This girl that sends naked pics to guys- what's her email address?

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