Shame on you

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

First, if you haven't already, read this. I am sad to say that I am very disappointed in my favorite blogger. While, I am not easily offended, that post truly pissed me off. Saying that any woman over a size 8 is not attractive is the kind of thing that encourages eating disorders, especially saying something like:

"A celebrity example of someone "too fat" to be attractive: Dr. Torres (Sara Ramirez) on Gray's Anatomy. Too fucking fat for me."

Sara Ramirez is a healthy example for young women, especially women who were not born with a small frame. Some women are just bigger. It's nice to see a woman on tv who isn't grotesquely thin. Not everyone is meant to be a size 2, and those of us who aren't petite can nearly kill themselves trying to be. Literally. I was a size 2 at one point, and because of that, I now have heart problems and am missing a portion of my stomach lining. Yeah, but it's so much more important to be thin- then maybe I can find a man who is only interested in my body, and doesn't give a damn about the real me. Luckily, I'm more grounded in reality, and, even though I need to lose some weight, I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin than I was when I was thin- and have met someone who actually looks beyond the superficial. While I may not have the body I wish I did, I don't consider myself "fat." I am large- and most of my size is muscle. Despite my size, I have a surprisingly low body fat ratio.

While everyone has their preferences when it comes to attraction, any man who would prefer a vapid, shallow and self-absorbed woman who resembles a 12 year-old boy to a size 10 woman who is intelligent, funny, and caring needs to take a look inside at his own insecurities (note- I'm not necessarily talking about the author of the afore-mentioned post, just men in general). Yes, we all are attracted to certain things, but to completely discount dating a women based souly on the fact that her ribs don't show and her breastbone isn't protruding from her chest? Come on, you have to be more intelligent than that.

And men who only date freakishly thin girls are always bitching about how all of the women they date are physcho bitches. Well, not eating (or vomiting everything you eat) tends to make you extremely irritable. Take my cousin (the former fitness model)- she has dealt with the pressure to be thin for years now. She is 5'10, and when she was modeling, was a healthy (and very muscular) size 6. But she wasn't thin enough. So she stopped eating. Then, started throwing up. Now she's a coke head- she's now a size 0 and weighs MAYBE 100 pounds. She can no longer model. She looks like a skeleton. And old. It's sad- she used to be pretty and healthy. She also had a personality. Now she is a psychotic, self-absorbed, high-maintenance drama queen. One example- this summer I was at a bar in Solomons Island with her, her boyfriend, and his friend (who he hadn't seen in a long time). The guys were talking, and she turns to me and says "(boyfriend) isn't paying attention to me. Should I make a big deal out of this?" My answer? A very big "NO!" She and her boyfriend live together and work together. He hasn't seen this friend in months. And he's supposed to be focused on her??? Come on. Give the guy some freaking space. Well, she didn't listen and made a scene. It blew up, and (needless to say) boyfriend wouldn't speak to her. The next day, she faked a migraine to get sympathy from him. Honestly, I don't know how a man can live with that kind of bullshit. That's what you can expect from the grotesquely-thin women. enjoy.

Women come in all shapes and sizes, and most are beautiful in some way. Maybe more men should look for that beauty in something other than toothpick thighs.

62 comments:

Johnny 11/15/2006 09:19:00 PM  

Oh snap! Haha, looks like I'm first. All I can say is that I'm attracted to athletic girls, but not necessarily stick thin ones. Scarlett Johansson, she's pretty much perfect. I like the curves, especially some booty. Don't really know what size 10 looks like, but having a positive personality goes a long way no matter what. I don't care how thin a girl is, if she acts psycho and does drugs I want nothing to do with her.

KassyK 11/15/2006 09:25:00 PM  

This is a beautiful post...I am a thin girl but I would never starve myself to be skeletal and I don't base my worth on my weight.

I am really curvy even though small and I used to be super self conscious about it. Then I realized if someone didn't like me bc of my curvy hips and actually having an ass--then I don't want them anyway.

I think big is beautiful and small is beautiful and beautiful is beautiful. Its what you do with what you have naturally. :-)

You are beautiful and I am so glad to hear that you wouldn't date someone so stuck on the superficial. XO

Ricardo 11/16/2006 12:19:00 AM  

Good points and I'm sorry to read that you fell into the whole eating disorder thing. It's not worth it but it seems like you know this and are truly happy with it.

For me, it's a case by case scenario. I can give you a list of celebrities that I find hot but it's too long of a list. I agree with Johnny; athletic but not stick thin. Also I'm a latin male so curves in the right spots never hurt either. (which kassyk seems to be describing)

GRRR.

Wendy 11/16/2006 01:12:00 AM  

fantastic post! And I love Dr Torres. She is one of my favorite characters and she is beautiful.

Eric 11/16/2006 08:21:00 AM  

Definitely ditto what Johnny said. I think you'd find that the majority of guys would disagree with White Dade on a lot of his points, or maybe thats just me.

Anonymous,  11/16/2006 09:32:00 AM  

haha this was awesome! kudos on making this post and calling someone out on something you find reprehensible.

Anonymous,  11/16/2006 09:49:00 AM  

Okay, Sara Ramirez is hot. I think you hit the nail right on the head with why the size "0" ladies seem to be dispraportionately insane.

As a black guy, I always wondered why the white guys seem to be attracted to girls that are built like their 15-year-old brother. What's up with that?

Ladies, do what you do~!

Aliecat 11/16/2006 10:07:00 AM  

I don't think he has anything to worry about turning the "bigger girls" away. The women he considers fat (over a size 6) are too busy leading fabulous lives and having better sex with greater guys than they ever would have with him.

I also struggled with an eating disorder, and while I have no lasting physical effects, the emotional ones will always be there.

Freckled K 11/16/2006 10:11:00 AM  

I just can't get over that he thinks Eva Longoria has a little extra padding!?! She can't be larger than a size 2. Thank Christ I have a healthy self-esteem, or I'd be at CVS right now buying laxatives and TrimSpa, baby.

Anonymous,  11/16/2006 10:29:00 AM  

GREAT POST! I am so glad that someone finally said it! I agree with you 100%. I think Dr. Torres is a beautiful woman!

Anonymous,  11/16/2006 10:34:00 AM  

Ok, yeah, that's crazy because Sara Ramirez is hot and sexy like woah. Not to mention, she's got the talent (HELLO? TONY AWARD?) and the attitude to back it up... hmmm sounds like a certain blogger all know and love (though, I'm not sure you have a Tony Award, Ashburnite, lol).

Fantastic post, and as a small woman (as in short, lol) I agree whole heartedly with the "beauty comes in many forms" hypothesis :)

The Husband 11/16/2006 10:57:00 AM  

i can't stand girls who are rail thin.

i need some cushin' for the pushin'!

Rachel 11/16/2006 11:56:00 AM  

It boggles my mind that the average size of the american female is a 14 and yet many men won't even consider them.
I will admit that I am not a skinny girl. I have to shop in the "plus size" section of the store (which let me tell you, finding cute, attractive clothing isn't that easy).
If looks were all that anyone ever worried about then most women would die virgins.
Thank God that there ARE men out there that don't discount what is really the most important parts of a woman. Her mind and soul.

Anonymous,  11/16/2006 12:32:00 PM  

I know have a blog. Check it out!

Aliecat 11/16/2006 01:04:00 PM  

I work with a gal that's about 3 bills and she gets the most ass out of anyone I know.

minijonb 11/16/2006 01:17:00 PM  

Bravo to you for posting this, Ash!!!

What I find attractive in size/shape/etc in a woman on TV doesn't always match up with what I find attractive in real life. It kinda twists my brain around, but I'm used to feeling confused.

Matt - mattsongs2002 AT yahoo,  11/16/2006 02:34:00 PM  

My ex was a size 10 who was mostly muscular and ridiculously hot. I mean, at 5'8", she was proportioned like a supermodel. I think it's more about body composition than weight or dress size.

That said, I have a few comments:

First of all, I've been lurking here for a few months (you're the only blogger I know of that lives in Ashburn and has an interesting blog -- I live there, too), so I understand where you're coming from, but too much fat can be just as unhealthy and unattractive as too little. While the average american woman is a size 14, the average american woman (and man) is also pretty overweight. I've made the effort to be healthy and in shape, and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that in someone I date.

There are healthy ways for people to change their weight if they're unhappy with it. The problem is that most people take the easy way out - "I'll just stop eating or do what I've heard might work for people" instead of actually doing the research, learning what they can about nutrition and exercise, and having the discipline to really work a positive, healthy plan. It can be done, and when people go about it the right way, it's actually easier than you would think. I lost 30 lbs over the spring/summer and got myself into shape. Before that, the last time I was in a gym was when it was a class in high school. I knew nothing about exercise or nutrition, but I took the time to learn. It can absolutely be done.

I understand you've had problems with an eating disorder, but it disturbs me that you seem to blame that on what society thinks or men seem to want. It's a mental disorder, not a cause and effect thing - it's a disease. Do we blame people or society for cancer? In fact, it's tied much more intimately to self esteem issues than to "ideals" or "perfection." None of us are perfect, not even the "perfect" celebrities, and those who don't have these diseases can accept that and be happy with who they are, no matter what society thinks. Sure, if someone's a little overweight there will be people who don't find them attractive (like WD), but there is ALWAYS someone who won't find you attractive no matter what you look like. Personal preferences are different for everyone. I'm 5'10", and although that's definitely not short, it rules out a good deal of women for me who are interested only in guys over 6'. Do I care? No - their loss. The type of woman I want to be with is attracted to me the way I am. If she's not, why would I ever want to be with her?

Anyway, I usually enjoy your blog, and I didn't want my first comment to be a negative one, but it seemed like no one here has made the argument for changing what you can and accepting what you can't. I wasn't a huge fan of WD's post, but wasn't so sure about this one, either.

~Matt

Johnny 11/16/2006 03:53:00 PM  

ALiecat - do you mean 300 pounds? If so, the only reason she gets "ass" is because she has no standards. And yeah, at 5'10 there are plenty of chicks who like a 6 foot guy or taller. Oh well. I do think girls are a little less fixated on looks than guys though.

Anonymous,  11/16/2006 04:09:00 PM  

As for looks, just plain old eye-candy, I'd like to lobby for my favorite movie star, Jessica Rabbit.

But remember, she showed the good taste to fall for Roger, no great looker, but a hell of a guy (er, toon) with a punchline.

Humor is sexy. To me Kathy Najamy was as hot before she lost weight as after. Ditto Ricki Lake.

And remember "The Truth About Cats and Dogs". What bonehead decided Uma Thurman was the bomb and Jeanine Garafolo was plain Jane? The movie made no sense because Jeanine was just as hot as Uma, and funnier to boot.

Camryn Mannheim is another example of a woman who breaks WD's sterotypes. The characters she plays, and the persona she puts out there in interviews, is sexy as hell. Who gives a poop if she doesn't look like Phoebe Cates getting out of the pool in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes right through to the bone. ANON1 proves that without our ever seeing his picture.

Anonymous,  11/16/2006 04:33:00 PM  

I blogged about this in the summer and I like you think that Dr. Torres is the best looking woman on that show. Most minoritys arent really hung up on weight issues, so I am lucky in that respect. No black man is ever going to look at me and go "your ass is too fat". Its just never gonna happen. I actually lost weight over the summer and "the boyfriend" tried to have a coronary episode.

White Dade 11/16/2006 04:35:00 PM  

You think I don't have insecurities? C'mon, how long have you been reading my shit? I don't work out every day and take enought suplements to make me vomit for nothing. I was a fat kid, in case you forgot.

Also, please remember that that post was my OPINION. I am not the be all edn all of deciison making on this issue, and what I tihnk is not totally infalliable. obviously. So I spologize if anyone was offended, but I can't apologize for my own tastes. they may not be everyone, but they are mine. My blog is a colleciton of my opinions, nothing more. So if that's what i tinhk, then that's what I tinhk. But nobody else has to agree.

Aliecat 11/16/2006 06:18:00 PM  

Johnny- yes 300 pounds. And it's not because she has no standards. Hell, she has more standards than I do and I'm half her size. Her personality and general outlook on life makes her attractive. It's been said that the most important sexual organ you have is your brain. And for the record, I like to date slimmer guys as well, height isn't as important (as long as he's taller than I am), but I'm not about to totally discount a guy just because he has a beer belly. And as White Dade said, it's all personal opinion and what turns you on. I think Ash's main issue with his post was the overall tone...it was pretty demeaning to refer to overweight woman as pigs. His language was evocative and on some level he knew he would get a response such as this. And like I said before, it's no skin off my ass (or most women's asses) if some mad doesn't want to fuck me just because I'm not a size 2, because, honestly, I don't really want to even talk to a guy that just sees me as a walking, talking vagina.

Ashburnite 11/16/2006 07:00:00 PM  

johnny- yes, Scarlett Johansson is near perfection (body-wise). I love that a woman with some curves is seen as a sex symbol. She's the modern Marilyn Monroe. I think we can blame women like Twiggy for the change in the definition of "sexy." I definitely think athletic is a lot better than skinny.

kassy- thank-you, sweety. And while you are thin, you are healthy thin- not skinny. And you are hot. You're right- beautiful is beautiful- at any size.

Ashburnite 11/16/2006 07:07:00 PM  

ricardo- yeah, kassy pretty much does have a great body. And curves are def much sexier than twigs.

wendy- thank-you. And yes, Dr. Torres is hot.

eric- that seems to be the general consensus here. thank gawd.

かわいいですね- thanks. I do love wd, but the post just offended me so much.

Ashburnite 11/16/2006 07:17:00 PM  

anon- exactly. I don't understand why guys would want a woman that has absolutely no shape.

aliecat- isn't that the truth? I don't think people understand the lasting emotional effects something like that has on a woman. It can completely change who you are.

freckled- actually, I think I read somewhere that she's either a 0 or a -1. How can someone be a negative size??? And yeah, extra padding my ass.

dcvita- thank-you. And it needed to be said.

Ashburnite 11/16/2006 07:21:00 PM  

view- thank-you sweety. And unfortunately, I don't have a Tony.....sigh.....if I wasn't so terrified of being in front of people, maybe :-) And you may be small, but you are natuarally that way- not at all sickly looking, so you look hot.

spacks- haha...can always count on you for classy comments. muah!

rachel- seriously. and those guys (the ones that know that there are more important things) are the ones that are more worth our time.

anon1- well done.

Ashburnite 11/16/2006 07:37:00 PM  

alie- wow...3 bills? seiously? good for her.

mjb- thanks, sweety. and I think most of us have some twisted brains :-)

matt- a size ten at 5'10 is ideal. especially if she was muscular. and thanks. now to the meat of your comment. while I agree that being overweight is just as unhealthy as being annorexic, I have to say that a 14 is actually not that big, especially if a woman has muscle (such as myself). And yes, it's sad that the average woman is a 14- which is to say that for every size 4, there is a size 24 out there. So yes, the average of 14 is scary, but a size 14 in and of itself is not scary. I fall between a 12 and a 14, depending on the clothing line. At my absolute healthiest, I was a size 10. Stopping eating is not taking the "easy" way out. It's an illness, not something someone just decides to do to lose weight. A person who is more well-balanced (mentally) will realize that not eating is stupid and reckless.

I'm not necessarily blaming eating disorders on "society," but it is absolutely something that can be prevented- unlike cancer. Where do you think those self esteem issues come from? If a young girl who identifies physically with someone like Dr Torres and is constantly hearing people call her "fat," that has got to mess with her self-esteem. Mine stemmed from years of balet. I developed before most of the girls in my class, and because I had hips and breasts (even at a size 4), I was told I was too fat for balet. Eating disorders start because women feel they have to look a certain way to be found attractive, not from genetics (which is where most "diseases" stem from).

And you're right- there will always be someone who doesn't find me attractive, and I've accepted that. The reason wd's post upset me so much has more to do with the fact that he is a friend and basically said any woman over a size 8 is a repulsive pig. I can accept hearing that from a stranger, but when one of my friends says it, it hurts. It makes me wonder what he thinks of me and whether or not he's repulsed by our friendship.

I hope you keep reading (and commenting). You make valid and well thought-out arguments.

Ricardo 11/16/2006 07:39:00 PM  

BTW I got into it with another guy on another totally different blog from the ones you mentioned. He was was insulting the looks of the woman who ran it. But there are no pictures of him up on his blog. If there were, we could all make fun of him and see how he likes it. And it all happened right after reading this post. See what you do to me?

Ashburnite 11/16/2006 07:59:00 PM  

johnny- not necessarily. some women just more than make up for physical imperfections. And yeah, we women are def less fixated on the physical than some men.

didc- Jessica Rabbit- very good choice of "eye candy." A very hot toon. Humor is definitely much more sexy than the physical- and I'll agree with you on Kathy Najamy and Jeanine Garafolo (so much hotter than Uma), but I'm not so sure about Ricki and Camryn- while they do have some great qualities, I wouldn't necessarily define them as sexy. They are spunky, though, so I'll have to give them that. But to each his own. And yeah, the anon1 thing goes without saying- until he posts a pic of himself, he has no place to criticize anyone's looks.

Avin- yeah, she is def one of the sexier women on the show- so much more than Meredith (headcase). And yeah, that's why I've dated a few black and hispanic guys- they love an ass.

Ashburnite 11/16/2006 08:06:00 PM  

wd- I understand that it was just your opinion, but when someone I consider a friend says that anyone over a size 8 (which includes me) is a repulsive pig, it hurts. If it came from someone I have no respect for, it wouldn't have bothered me, but to hear it from someone I enjoy reading and respect? It floored me. And it wasn't just that that's what you are attracted to- which I already knew. It was the fact that you stated it as fact- that women who are bigger aren't attractive and are disgusting. Things like that make women like myself feel like shit about themselves. And alie hit the nail on the head- "I think Ash's main issue with his post was the overall tone...it was pretty demeaning to refer to overweight woman as pigs."

alie- Very, very well put. And gotta love anyone who can put the phrase "walking, talking vagina" to such good use is my hero :-)

Ashburnite 11/16/2006 08:07:00 PM  

ricardo- ahhh...snuck that one in on me. Yeah, I just ignore him. Until he puts a picture of himself out there and actually opens himself up to criticism, his words have no effect on me.

nicole 11/16/2006 08:46:00 PM  

Dade's right -- his posts are his opinions and he's totally entitled to them. But I'll admit that nothing disappoints me more than a dude who can't appreciate a healthy female shape.

One can argue that I've had it easy since I'm black. I've never been made to feel insecure about my weight or the size of my ass. In fact, if I even mentioned that I was trying to shed a few pounds I'd get showered with ridicule. So it's hard to stomach any guy that thinks jutting ribs and protruding sternums are made for lusting.

Mind you, if you are NATURALLY thin (and I have several friends who are) then that's a totally different story. The important thing is to be healthy and happy with the skin (and shape) you're in, regardless of what it is. And any guy that isn't into your size? Can just keep walking. ;)

Ricardo 11/17/2006 01:26:00 AM  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ricardo 11/17/2006 01:27:00 AM  

Very true but this guy was attacking one of your readers as well. I found her site in the comments section of a past post of yours.

Jamille 11/17/2006 11:47:00 AM  

Look, American women are too fat! Look at their European, Asian, and Latin American counterparts! The women from those countries don't gorge themselves on fast food the way American women do. The women in those countries also want to keep their man after they are married, and so stay in shape while most American women just chop off their hair, and put on tons of weight. Even after child birth women in other countries try to maintain their figure because they understand that the competition is high,and if they let themselves go their man will find a better woman.

Don't be so naive; men with money, power, and/or fame will want only the hottest chicks. Look at most any man who has any one of those things and you will see a hot, young chick on his arm.

Women who are NOT hot will need to fend for themselves. Take a look at the Forbes 100 Most Powerful Women in Business and tell me how many attractive, hot women there are.I can tell you right now, there isn't many. Why? Hot women don't need to work!

Ann Livermore leads HP’s Technology Solutions Group, and she is a dog.

Abby Joseph Cohen, American economist, dog.

Margaret (Meg) Whitman president and CEO of eBay, dog.

Zoe Cruz co–president (there's a dopey title) of Morgan Stanley, dog.

Xie Qihua. Chairman, Baosteel Group in China, dog.(It is not good to be a dog in China!)

So, let's be honest and tell it like it is; thick women are NOT attractive, and will not be able to land a successful guy. It doesn't matter what kind of person they are "on the inside", or that they are "Big and Beautiful", they are still fat, and will generally land themselves a loser.

Jamille 11/17/2006 11:51:00 AM  

Little Rickey, it doesn't matter what I look like, all I need is money, power, and/or fame, and I will get more butts than an ashtray. (And by butts I mean hot chicks.)

But, you really don't understand that, in all your metrosexual glory, huh?

Aliecat 11/17/2006 01:23:00 PM  

Wow, Jamille, thanks for that powerful insight and setting the women's movement back about 50 years. What about Oprah? As much as I hate her, she's a thick woman and one of the most powerful and influential people in the WORLD. As for cashing in on your looks, honey, it all fades unless you're willing to spend thousands on plastic surgery. And as for thin European and asian women, I've seen some thick women there too...so shut it...

Jamille 11/17/2006 01:56:00 PM  

Dear alie, it has nothing to do with "cashing in on your looks". If you are a man, and you have money, power, and/or fame, then you will get yourself a hot chick. When that hot chick either gets fat, lets herself go, or gets old, a rich, powerful, and/or famous guy will go find a better, hotter chick.

Simple as that.

And I don't understand your bring ugly, STILL fat Oprah into this.

And the women's movement is one of the worst things that has ever happened to this country. Scads of children running loose on the streets while their "working mother" is busy "building her career".

Eeesh.

Ashburnite 11/17/2006 02:09:00 PM  

jamille- you peddle cheap ringtones on a free blogger account and have the nerve to criticize anyone?? And given your previous statement, I'm guessing you're single. No woman with any self-worth would want anything to do with a misogynistic creep such as yourself.

Ashburnite 11/17/2006 02:09:00 PM  

and leave Oprah alone. While she may be a bigger woman, she is beautiful.

Aliecat 11/17/2006 02:56:00 PM  

Wow, Jamille, I have no rebuttle to that, due primarily that you're a dipshit, and I don't engage in arguements with dipshits. And working mothers have nothing to do with the way kids are turning out these days. Why don't you take a look at the millions of absentee, deadbeat fathers in this country that couldn't be bothered to wear a condom, much less pay child support. And give me an honest, hardworking blue collar man over a whinny, self-important, pretentious "successful" man (TRUMP), any day. At least I know he loves me for me, and not just my vagina. Now go crawl back in your hole, troll.

DF,  11/17/2006 03:51:00 PM  

While Jamille’s approach is vulgar, you can’t dismiss his statements outright because many wealthy men do commoditize women and there are plenty of women willing to become “property.” If anyone is to be blamed for setting back the women’s movement 50 years, its women because men haven’t changed! I am also certain that its unprogressive for women to think they have a right to behave in the same stupid fashion as some men. I would counter Jamille’s argument by saying that if you got a guy that believes he’s entitled to a hot girl simply because he’s rich, well you have to wonder about the caliber of man he is and what’s the “quality” of the woman he is looking to “obtain” because clearly she can’t be that intelligent and the product of such pairings often leaves much to be desired. As evidence, I present to you one sample of such a materialistic/superficial pairing: Paris Hilton.

Now, we cannot deny that there is an obesity epidemic in this country that results from poor eating habits and a lack of exercise. Most people don’t walk to where they need to go, they drive with the exception of New York where statistically it has been shown that people walk more and are on average leaner than in the rest of the country. Sure there is genetic potential and some women are larger than others but what everyone is missing in this argument is balance. I like to call it “equivalent exchange” but the crux of the theory is that people should stick with dating/marrying someone that is of comparable attractiveness and with comparable attributes (intelligence, education, habits). If you’re a big girl that went to community college, don’t think you’re entitled to a super hot guy that went to an Ivy. If you’re an average guy whose sole ownership of a six-pack is in the fridge and you don’t have your shit together (career, finances, health), don’t think you’re entitled to a super hot girl. I know way too many guys that fall into this category and in my experience these are the guys that whine the most about a girl being too fat.

So “how fat is too fat” is completely dependent upon what you have to offer, period.

Lastly, Scarlett Johansson is physical perfection. Kate Moss can OD on her coke or choke on her celery stick.

Ricardo 11/17/2006 04:04:00 PM  

Jamille, I can see your very insecure by having the need to call me little. But the only thing little is your brain and what's between your legs.

Money? Power? You'll never have any of it because your to insecure to rely on yourself to get the job done. You failed the test of manhood mate. Make it easy on yourself and just admit it.

Ricardo 11/17/2006 04:09:00 PM  

Oh BTW did I call him jamille? I meant Troll.

Ashburnite 11/17/2006 04:13:00 PM  

alie- good call.

df- I also believe that some women are to blame for the setback for women- namely the kind of woman who would raise someone with views such as jamille's. Also, the kind of woman who would be so desperate as to date someone who thinks so little of women. And yeah, Scarlett is about 486 times hotter than Kate will ever be.

ricardo- well said.

Ricardo 11/17/2006 04:17:00 PM  

And since when did I become a metrosexual? LOL!

Aliecat 11/17/2006 04:44:00 PM  

df said what I was thinking, however, I'm at work and didn't have time to formulate a well thought out arguement.

I will say this, though, there's no accounting for taste, and if you dig skinny chicks, so be it, there's no need to rag on larger girls to get your point across. We're all people after all. Well, except for Jamille, he's a troll...

MonkeyPants 11/17/2006 05:30:00 PM  

I'm very late on this -- but amen, sister. As someone who has read WD for awhile now and met him, I was very disturbed by not only the size 8 crack (obvs he doesn't get the whole, the-taller-you-are-the-bigger-your-size-is-as-well bit) but mostly the 3 week coke binge and lettuce blurb . Because I read it as he'd even prefer someone who's emaciated and sickly to someone a little less thin but healthy just completely contributes to women's unhealthy body images. Ugh. I'm still pissed off.

And the "pig" thing -- gawd, grow up.

Jamille 11/17/2006 05:34:00 PM  

"Why don't you take a look at the millions of absentee, deadbeat fathers in this country that couldn't be bothered to wear a condom, much less pay child support."

And, just who chose those losers?

By the way, I LOVE women. There isn't a misogynistic bone(er) in my body.

Little Rickey, we long ago established you know me so much better than I know me, so we will go ahead and assume you know all about the size of my brain, and my penis. But be aware, that moves you from the realm of metrosexual, (clearly evident in your manner and your picture,) to, at the very least, latent homosexual.

Lastly, df, you are the only one who thought about what I said, and came up with an intelligent response. I am by no means implying that you defended what I had to say, only that you ran the numbers and came up winning. Bravo!

To be honest, I thought Little Rickey would be the one to come up with the most intellectual crunch of what I had to say, but alas, he fell, er, flat.

Lastly, I will no longer bash Oprah on your wonderful blog. That would indeed be trollish.

Jamille 11/17/2006 05:43:00 PM  

Oops. I noticed I put two "lastly"s in my last comment by mistake. I hope we are all adult enough not to point out my obvious failings and stick to the conversation at hand. ;)

Ricardo 11/17/2006 06:24:00 PM  
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Ricardo 11/17/2006 06:30:00 PM  
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Ricardo 11/17/2006 06:36:00 PM  

So sad I came up flat for you Jamille but there isn't anything intelligent about what you said that justifies an intelligent answer. Maybe if you approached the subject like a gentleman instead of an angry 17 year old who got grounded, you would have got what you were looking for. I have no concern about your anatomy. I just noticed your excessive use of the word little and see clearly that you're trying to project your own insecurities onto me. Do I know you? Well, based on your comments I think we've all gotten to know more than we ever wanted to know about you.

A. Your unoriginal
B.Your angry
C.You have a compulsion to hurt women verbally.
D.You think money will win you attractive women
E.You sell second rate ring tones on your blog.
F.You are very insecure about your own sexuality hence the implications that I'm somehow gay.
G.You're a troll.
H.You hate yourself

Did I get what you were trying to say? Yes. Do I think there are some things that are true about attractive women using men who have money and power? OF COURSE! It's been going on since the beginning of the world.

This doesn't make it right nor does it mean that you’re free to go verbally attacking women you don't find attractive. There are women I find hot and women I don't. But I don't go out of my way to hurt and insult the ones that don't light. I grew out of that by 14. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unoriginal, but true.

Jamille 11/17/2006 06:38:00 PM  

Poor Little Rickey, you try SO hard!If only at lame attempts to somehow insult me.

Let's address your miraculous insights:
"A.Your unoriginal"
True, but then again I never claimed to be original.

"B.Your angry"
False. Not once have I written to you in anger. What you perceive is your problem.

"C.You have a compulsion to hurt women verbally."
Never. Again, that is your perception. If you are referring to dear Jada, go back and read what I wrote again.

"D.You think money will win you attractive women."
Not only true of me, but generally true, period.

"E.You sell second rate ring tones on your blog."
No flies on you, my brother.

"F.You are very insecure about your own sexuality hence the implications that I'm somehow gay."
Dude, YOU were the one who brought up my penis! Figuratively speaking, of course.

"G.You're a troll."
False, but I do like goats.

"H.You hate yourself"
False, and how could you possibly know that?

Again, you have come up short, but I expected as much.

By the way, your voice sounds soooo sweet! It would lull me to sleep. ;)

Ricardo 11/17/2006 06:49:00 PM  

Jamille, it's a good thing whan I fail to impress someone like you. Actually, it's a compliment. If I did, I would be worried.

I don't try Jamille I do. That's the difference between men like me and boys like you.

Cheers!
;-)

nicole 11/17/2006 09:07:00 PM  

I have this much to say about Dade's posts. No matter how disappointing or controversial they might be, they manage to bring in TONS of comments. Even on other people's blogs.

Jada 11/18/2006 12:24:00 AM  

Oh dear, someone has been busy. I am debating whether to respond at all to "Jamille" on my blog. But, I am not hesitating to say thanks to either Ashburnite or Ricardo. It's not hard to see that you're both quality people. Thanks for the support.

Aliecat 11/18/2006 04:54:00 PM  

There is no use in arguing with Jamille, as people who have unwavering faith in their beliefs will not be swayed by logic or facts. By trying to argue with these people you are beating your head against the proverbial wall. It's obvious he was raised in a traditional household, unchallenged by women who were content in traditional 50's roles. The women's movement was borne out of necessity. Necessity of the climbing divorce rate and unwillingness of fathers to meet their obligations to a family they threw away for a better, freer life. These women had to go out into the workforce to provide for thier children. Other women refused to be slaves to their husband's largesse and wished to gain marketable skills, should they find themselves in a position that Jamille so throughly outlined in his previous comments. There is no glory in being a first wife. I would like to state that most deadbeat dads looked good on paper, yet simply walked away from their obligations, wingnut. They weren't immediately identified as "losers." They could have been the perfect family men, up to the point they decided they would have a better life, unfettered by parental responsiblity.

Aliecat 11/18/2006 11:13:00 PM  

Oh, and the reason I brought Oprah into the arguement is that she has a man that has stuck with her...the dynamics of the relationship nothwithstanding. I just wonder what type of woman you are able to afford to be with since you peddle cheap ring tones on a free site, not to mention your low opinion on women in general. And I'm sorry, but thinking about women only in the aesthetic DOES make you a mysogynist, no matter how much you claim to love them. Loving and respecting women are two different things and are often mutually exclusive when it comes to most men. Don't mess with the bull, little boy, you'll get the horns.

Ricardo 11/19/2006 02:12:00 AM  

What kind can he afford? Probably the women we see on Jerry Springer.

Give him the horns, by all means.

Anonymous,  11/29/2006 02:33:00 AM  

I'm late to the party. From reading WD's blog you probably all know what I think about skinniness and so on. I just want to make a comment on what someone said:

"I don't understand why guys would want a woman that has absolutely no shape."

I have no shape genetically. I have small breasts and no waist. I'm straight like a stick - my hips and waist are equally wide. So I look best in jeans with my abs showing (I have killer abs). I work out for 3 hours every other day and eat disgustingly healthy food.

You guys all seem to have an opinion that all women are naturally curvy and that women who are bigger than size 8 are like that because they're curvy. Not all of them. If I were size 8 I'd look disgusting. I agree, Scarlett Johannson is hot. I've always thought that Kate Winslet was gorgeous at any weight. But it's because of her proportions - she carries her weight in the right places. If I were 50 pounds heavier, those wouldn't become curves, they'd settle on my belly and upper arms and hang disgustingly.

So to conclude, "real women have curves" and similar statements are BS. I'm a female, pretty sure that I'm real, but I have no curves. Some women have curves. Some, not all. And if all men only were attracted to women "with shape" not a single guy would be attracted to me, ever.

Ricardo 11/29/2006 12:36:00 PM  

Imaginary - very true, good point.

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