More Sugar Daddies!

It's time to look at some of the gold-digger ads. These aren't quite as funny as the men, but I did find a few winners in here.

1. GetItGirl25 is a 24-year old single woman looking for a sugar daddy between the ages of 18 and 90. Wow, she's picky. In her words: "Im good fun. I'll have you laughing all the time. I will NOT give you no DRAMA...If you want to know more. contact me!" If her only selling point is that she "won't give you no DRAMA," then she needs to find some hobbies. What ever happened to "I enjoy long walks on the beach, cuddling in front of a fire...."? Oh, and this is what she's looking for in a man: "Obviously be able to take care of me. I need some one who can handle me! NO ABUSIVE MEN!" Here I thought that the "no abusive" part was pretty much a universal requirement for women, but apparently we need to specify that- note to all of the women with personal ads. I'm wondering if there are men out there who read her profile and thought, "wow, she sounds interesting. Maybe I should cont....oh, wait. She doesn't like abusive guys. Damn."

2. CMR0730 is a 25 year-old in Silver Spring, MD with high hopes. "I'm an outgoing 20-something year old who's always been daddy's-little-girl and enjoys being pampered, spoiled, and well taken care of - ya' I know they're virtually all the same thing, but I just wanted to get my point across. :) I enjoy shopping, relaxing, traveling, movies, nice dinners, spas, working out, spending time with friends, socializing." Yeah, because most of us don't like those things. What she's looking for: "I'd like to find that special man who also enjoys the finer things in life. He absolutely must be taller than me, as well as outgoing, and have a sense of humor (and one that's not sick and twisted) I love laughing; it's the best workout anyone could get, so any man that can make me laugh is super sexy to me. I love good conversation and getting to know someone better, so being able to hold an intelligent conversation is highly important to me. I love sports - mainly football (college & NFL) and I would like someone who is equally enthusiastic about sports as well as having an athletic build and enjoys a good athletic competition every now and then. A man who cares about his appearance - i.e. well groomed: hair, nails, breath, teeth, cologne, nice clothes, etc. but not a metro-sexual. I'm not interested in any men that are married & looking, or have children and are over the age of 40." Sweetie, you do know what dating site you're on, don't you? Do you think that you're actually going to find all of that on Sugardaddyforme?

3. Allwomen25 hails from Gainesville, VA and has the headline "Allwomen looking for her dream man." Umm...ok. She says "I am Allwomen looking to find someone to spend time with. I am very sexy and will do what ever I have to to get what I want." Ok, so what's with the "allwomen" thing? She's said it 3 times, and I still don't understand what in the hell she means. Maybe if she had said "Allwoman," which could be translated to an "everywoman," but plural? And "I do what ever I have to to get what I want?" Is that supposed to be a good quality in a woman? Some of you guys may be wondering, "wow. I wonder if she'd be interested in me." Well, here's what she's looking for: "He must have it going on and can take me places and get me what I want. I am very spoiled and need my wants and desires to be handled." He "must have it going on?" Maybe you should clarify that, hun, since most Sugar Daddies are, by definition, older, and may not be familiar with that phrase. And please, for the love of god, would someone tell me what an "allwomen" is.

4. asianbabe07 is a 40 year-old divorced woman from Falls Church. No disrespect to the over-30 crowd, but how is a 40 year-old going to call herself a "sugar baby." And shouldn't someone that age be able to take care of herself?? She describes herself as "I am very loving, caring, and sensual person. I make sure that I will make my man happy and satisfied. When I have you I won't be looking and won't be with another man . I'll remain to be yours only for as long as you want me!" Ok, it sounds like you're looking for an owner instead of a partner. Honey, maybe you need to browse the S&M sites for a "master," because it sure as hell sounds like that's what you're looking for. So what is she looking for? "I am looking for a loving, generous, kind, and understanding man. I want to be treated like a princess, to be pampered and spoilt and in return I see to it that he won't regret it!" Princess? Really? Because no other woman on this site wants to be treated like a princess. Real original. Oh, and it's "spoiled," not "spoilt." Seriously, does anyone even use spell check anymore? All I'm saying is type it out in Word, run spell check, and copy and paste so that you don't sound like a complete moron. (Aside- maybe some bloggers out there need to use it as well?)

5. Here's some brevity from kaykay85, a 21-year old from Glen Burnie, MD. "I a sexy mama nows how to hav fun caring." "nows how to hav fun caring?" Seriously, spell check. What she's looking for: "White and handsom knows how to havea good times." Wow. Just, wow. Honey, I hope Mr. White & Handsome gives you some money so that you can finally earn that G.E.D.

Ok, more to come....It's been a great day....not a care in the world. Seriously.