Bits & Pieces

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

1. Strange coincidence- my boss' husband (my former boss) sent us an email today with a game you can play during meetings and seminars:

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that:
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns - - five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block (save the spares for the next game):
* synergy * strategic fit
* core competencies * best practice
* bottom line * revisit
* expeditious * to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")
* 24/7 * out of the loop
* benchmark * value-added
* proactive * win-win
* outside the box * fast track
* result(s)-driven * empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base * at the end of the day
* touch base * mindset
* client focus(ed) * paradigm (or paradigm shift)
* game plan * leverage
* database * raising the bar
* quality driven * on the same page
* team player * gold standard
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
Funny thing is, during a staff meeting today, Cute Boss was talking, and used quite a few of the words on that list. But when he said "paradigm shift," Chick Boss and I looked at each other and started laughing. I just wish we had been playing "Bullshit Bingo."

2. I noticed today, while shopping for a new "Bob" that the clientele at adult bookstores has changed dramatically in the past 10 years. Gone are the days of shady old men in trench coats shopping for porn with their heads hung low, keeping their eyes averted out of shame. We, as a society, are much more comfortable with our sexuality. I used to be embarrassed to go to one of these stores. I'm not sure if it's a result of the changing times or if it's a product of aging, but I am no longer embarrassed. Because let's face it- we all masturbate, and it's completely healthy. In fact, the mix of people at Night Dreams today was the most diverse group I've ever seen in one of these stores. And everyone was friendly, not shady. There were two other women who were just like me- in suits, late twenties, and very normal- looking. We even talked about what "Bobs" were good and which ones to stay away from. I swear, I felt like Samantha in that one episode of Sex & the City- the one where she tells another woman not to buy one particular "massager" because it would "burn your clit off." There was also a man in his fifties in a very nice suit looking at dildos. And the young black couple looking at lingerie. However, there one customer that struck me as a little funny- an old Asian man who was perusing the anal plugs.

3. Which brings me to my next observation: the change in packaging of some of these products. Many of them still have the half-naked chick sitting spread-eagle on the package. But, I noticed that quite a few of these companies realize that WOMEN are buying their products, not men- and they are packaging accordingly. In fact, the "Bob" that I bought was in a very non-sexual package. In fact, you wouldn't even know what it was unless you read the tiny print: "Silk Touch G-Spot Vibe."


Tara 6/13/2006 09:00:00 PM  

I'll have to try that game for bored meetings. And "paradigm shift"? That's awesome. Lol.

My mom once went into an adult video shop to ask for directions. She said the guys that were in there lowered their eyes and avoided eye contact. :D

And that's great that such a diverse group of people were in that store! I went to Pure Romance party awhile back and learning about the different merchandise was very interesting and enlightening.

team gingerbread 6/14/2006 12:32:00 AM  

Sounds like a fun game, will definitely keep that one in mind for my next staff meeting

mgc 6/14/2006 03:04:00 AM  

.....brrrrrrrrrrrr brrrrrrrrrrr..... ;-)

Ashburnite 6/14/2006 08:21:00 AM  

Tara- I wish I had heard of this game earlier- it could have helped in college when my ADD kept me from being able to pay attention.

g-bread- anything I can do to help.

mgc- hehe :-)

Ricardo 6/14/2006 09:21:00 AM  

The BS bingo thing is so true. I hate those stupid cliche terms. And the people using them think they're so slick.

The adult bookstore thing, yeah porn/sex toys and such has kind of "spread" to every demographic. I read once that it's a multi-billion dollar industry so it's definitely also your friends and neighbors. The real question is just how many of them are actually using those anal plugs?

NotCarrie 6/14/2006 11:19:00 AM  

Haha I'll def have to try that game.

Anonymous,  6/14/2006 11:25:00 AM  

So did you get to jump up and yell "Bullshit"?

minijonb 6/14/2006 12:05:00 PM  

Great... now I can leave my trench coat at home =;-)

Ashburnite 6/14/2006 01:17:00 PM  

ricardo- yeah, I don't think we want to know if the old Asian guy was going to use the anal plug :-)

notcarrie- anything I can do to help make those meetings more bearable.

leighann- I SO wanted to.

mjb- yeah, you also don't have to look down in shame anymore.

White Dade 6/14/2006 01:48:00 PM  

IF you've ever been to a Hustler store, it really like The Disney Store with sex toys. The one in LA reminds me more of a BArnes and NOble, but whatever. I'm glad to see these places being more socially accepable.

There is one by my house that is still extremely shady. Although once you go inside it is surprisingly clean and well kept. Call it the Gentrification of Porn.

Johnson 6/14/2006 03:12:00 PM  

When I know I'm going to get bored in big meetings, I always bring along a thumbtack and lightly prick myself when I feel about to nod off. Painful, but it works. If it's just some useless meeting (which is about 75% of the ones I have to attend for work), I just try to replay an exciting movie in my head or something. The Bullshit game sounds fun though and probably a little safer than pricking oneself with a thumbtack.

Betty 6/14/2006 03:18:00 PM  

I tried to leave this comment this morning. BUt I wanted to say , I just got a bullet, best 5 seconds of my life

Ashburnite 6/14/2006 03:25:00 PM  

wd- yes, the Hustler stores are a strange phenom. And I have noticed that a lot of these places are still very shady on the outside, but surprisingly normal on the inside. And yes, I have frequented quite a few of them.

johnson- a thumbtack?? ouch. Yeah, I would say that Bullshit Bingo would be a much better bet.

betty/alice- the bullet was the second one I ever got and the first non-phallic one. And they are great! The only warning I have for you- watch out for the spot where the wire/cord meets the bullet itself- I stopped buying those because that would short and the damn thing would die on me, usually at the worst time possible (right at about the 4th second)

Raincouver 6/15/2006 04:18:00 PM  

Grrrl Toyz, huh? Hmmm... it is a very boring package indeed. Looks almost sad, actually. They should put a happy face on it.

Raincouver 6/15/2006 04:22:00 PM  

"The only warning I have for you- watch out for the spot where the wire/cord meets the bullet itself"

What???? This sounds more dangerous than a paradigm shift. Better warn my gfriend. :-(

salty 6/16/2006 02:26:00 PM  

I was in a group of students in college who did some research on "adult" stores and the packaging of sex toys, vibrators, etc. Nice to see things turning around with stores like "Toys in Babeland" that lean away from the skeev factor.

Mark 6/18/2006 05:03:00 AM  

Which one did you buy? I am thinking of getting one for my wife to add a little extra to our lovemaking. ANy suggestions?

Ashburnite 6/18/2006 11:20:00 AM  

raincouver- haha...yes, maybe a happy face would make the packaging a little more exciting.

rc2- if the wire shorts, it just makes the vibrator die (which may be worse than if it were to electricute you.

salty- yes, it is. I'm happy they are making these places less "seedy."

mark- I ended up getting the one pictured in the post (girl toyz), but I wouldn't recommend that one- it pretty much sucks. I would go with the "Pocket Rocket" by Hustler.

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