A Repaired Friendship and Blogger Abandonment
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
For those of you that don't know the backstory on this, I apologize. A while back I wrote a post that really hurt a friend's feelings and really messed up the friendship. Well, I am happy to say that, although we haven't talked about it yet and I haven't gotten the chance to really apologize, "Jamie" and I are on speaking terms again. I never should have written about him or about what he was going through, and it was pretty fucked up of me. But, I have to say, that despite the fact that I was a terrible friend, he really came through for me over the weekend. Something really shitty happened (as I'm sure you can guess by looking at Friday's post), and when I was desperately trying to get ahold of people to calm me down, he was the only person who responded to my text (that night). He even cared enough to offer to come pick me up on Saturday so that I wouldn't be alone (I was in no mood for company though, so I declined). And who was I to judge in the first place? Gawd knows my life is VERY far from drama-free. The truth is that his friendship meant a lot to me, and not having him to talk to over the past few weeks has sucked ass. I am SO happy he's back in my life.
Speaking of friends, it really amazes me how much you can grow to care about someone you've never met, just by reading their blog. For instance, I have a blogger friend who I've been chatting (comments, emails, IM, phone) with for a few months, and I've really come to care about him. Which was why I was so happy to hear that he now is dating someone (another blogger). He's a really great guy and really deserves some female attention. However, I am a little hurt that I am no longer getting any of his attention. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not really the "everything needs to be about me" type of person (except on the blog), and I expected a small change in behavior, but the commenting has almost stopped all together. And the once hour-long phone conversations have dwindled to less than 5 minutes. And this weekend, when I was having the afore-mentioned crises, he called the next day to see if I was ok, then promptly cut me off mid-conversation (and after only about 2 minutes), saying that he had to go.
I know- right now I sound so unbelievably whiney, but the truth is that even if/when I find someone who can stand to be with me for more than 5 minutes, I will still devote the same amount of attention to my blogger friends; 'cuz yanno, I care about you guys. So am I a terrible person for expecting the same? Am I just being selfish that I am hurt that I no longer get any of his attention?
12 comments:
glad to hear about you and Jamie helping each other out...
...and if i was that blogger friend of yours, i'd be on my knees groveling for your forgiveness. he should know better than to do that! he... he...
wait. that's me, isn't it?
all kidding aside. i'm sorry. seriously. i've had a rough week too. catch up with you soon.
Aw, I'm glad to hear that, as well. Never fun to not be speaking to someone.
mjb- ummmm....yeah, sorry :-) I just miss my fav Michigan blogger.
scarlet- thanks....I'm pretty damn happy about it.
"johnny"- dude, stop hiding behind someone else's profile...I know you aren't the real "johnny"- yanno, StatCounter and all. If you have something to say, grow a sack and sign in as yourself.
Ashburnite ~ I hope that you are mjb can sort this out. Friendships are important and I definitely don't want to be the cause of any sort of rift between you two.
I hope that you week gets better.
I'm glad to hear that things are working out for you. You don't sound whiney, you just need to get this stuff off your chest. I hope you feel better.
Awww sweetie! Totally understandable how you are feeling. No matter what kind of friendship you have, it always kind of stings a bit when you realize a change has occurred- and not one that is for the positive. Much Luv from a blogger buddy :)
Hey sweetie I am so glad that things worked out with "Jamie" and I am so sorry that the blogger bud has gone mia while in a new relationship-you would think at this age we have learned to keep friends at the same level of importance before during and after a relationship. XO
Things always feel better when you've ranted a bit ^_^
Don't feel as if it's your duty to maintain any friendships...if it's just one sided, it's not really a friendship is it?
Oh yeah, in response to the whole "Jamie" thing - true friends walk in when the rest of the world walks out ^_^
No I do not think you're selfish. It hurts when friends cut off communication when they have a girlfriend or boyfriend. It's a feeling of being discarded, when that friend probably doesn't even realize they are doing it. It's almost like they can only concentrate their energy on one person.
I am so glad that you and Jamie are on speaking terms. That is really what true friends are all about. Yes you can have arguments and fights, but if you bounce back from it, then that is a very good sign.
Not sure as to who you are or how you fit into the big picture, but I like your style thus far.
another blogger- thanks. and no, you are not to blame- I'm probably just too high-maintenance.
acg- thanks, hun.
dcv- thanks, hun. you are too sweet!
kk- it's probably just me being over-sensitive.
skipper- very good point. Love that phrase.
tara- yeah, I don't think he realized it until he saw this.
dagince- thanks :-)
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