MySpace Trainwrecks Part Deux

So, after my first MySpace post got quite a bit of attention, I realized that there must be more than just my blogger buddies out there that love to laugh at some of these carnival freak-show pictures. So, since you all love to look at the trainwrecks on MySpace, I bring you Part Deux.

Since I had no trouble finding the crazies in Alaska the first time, I took another look at our friends to the north. I think Meltz was right when he said, "what do you expect? Those people don't see the friggin' sun for three months a year." Apparently, living in darkness really does affect one's sanity.

Our first friend is Chas. Chas is a 48 year-old man from Anchorage. His friends list looks like a spread for "Beefcake Magazine." Now, I'll admit, Chas is not a bad looking guy, but I think a picture is worth a thousand words. And as you scroll through his pictures, they get racier and racier. The first row of pics he's completely dressed; in the next row he's showing a little more skin; and finally, in the third row he's showing what his momma gave him. Quite an interesting spread, Chas, but I would think a man of your age would want to show a little more class (or is that what the tie is for?). Oh, and by the way, the white socks are a real nice touch.

Next, we have Danielle. Now, I know all of you guys will be drooling over this lovely gem of a woman, but, sorry to tell you, she prefers tacos to sausage. Sorry guys. But if she strikes the fancy of any of you ladies, feel free to shoot me an email, and I'll be happy to send you her MySpace info (just in case you are planning a weekend trip to Anchorage).

Danielle is 19, and- get this- has a strange obsession with Eminem. Maybe she feels she shares a love of white trash with him, but I would think that a lady that loves the ladies would hate everything about Slim Shady. According to the interests that she has listed, the ever-classy Danielle loves girls, porn (who doesn't?), and "of course- Eminem." Of course.

Here's an idea, Danielle: if you are going to post half-naked shots of yourself all over the internet, you may want to take a hint from Chas, and coordinate your bra and underwear, because the patterned red cotton bikinis go SO well with the white cotton bra. And while you're at it, you also may want to find some way to hide all of those bruises. Nothing says "Classy Woman" like a a scattering of bruises.

And, now....to quote my favorite news anchor...."Your moment of zen:"

Words cannot describe how classy this picture is.