Myspace Trainwrecks

So, I really am a nice person, and usually not critical of people, but I am so tired of seeing slutty, weird, or just plain horrible pics on MySpace. So I have decided to do a weekly post with random (shitty) pics from MySpace. There are some people whom I know personally who's crappy pics I would love to post, but I'll behave.

Now, I will admit that I am not the most photogenic person in the world, but I have enough sense not to put the really crappy ones on the web. And I would never put any trashy pics of myself up (there aren't any anyways- if I look like crap in the pic, it gets destroyed).

I don't have a lot of patience, so I'm probably missing some really bad pics by only browsing the first few pages of results, but hey, on Myspace you don't have to look very far to find trash.

Without further ado, here are some fun ones from Alaska:

Our first trainwreck is Courtney. At least I think that's her name- she spells it Courtknee, because, let's face it- she's unique and special and doesn't have to spell her name the "common" way.

Ok, so here's a classy girl. I certainly hope mom & dad don't have the link for your myspace page. I really don't think they'd be so proud of their little girl. Honey, close your legs. It looks like this lovely young lady is enjoying some...ummmm....hey- what IS in that thing anyways? I'm sure her prom date was VERY willing to provide the weed...and I'd venture to guess she provided him with something else in lieu of payment. I'm guessing she provides a LOT of guys with a LOT of...ummm...entertainment, judging by her second pic.

Now, I did my fair share of keg stands in college- hell, I went to Penn State- it was practically a pre-requisite. And yes, it's cute to post pics of you doing keg stands all over the web- you want people to think you're fun, don't you? And what better way than to show them that you "like to party"?? But where in the hell are your clothes?? I know there are pajama parties and whatnot, and I thought at first it was some kind of theme party, but I see four other people in the pic who are fully dressed. All of them guys, by the way. Were you the stripper for this sausage fest? Was this the beginning of a long night of being gang-banged? I really hope they paid you well (not just in pot), because four guys are a lot to handle for a little girl like you.


Our next friend is Adam. Adam is so unbelievably cool. He's in a band. I kid you not, here is his eloquent description in the "About Me" section:

"My Bro joined the band that includes me and my computer. Represent."

Hmmmm...I just can't tell you guys how great Adam is...besides, he does a pretty damn good job of it himself.

At first glance, Adam looks like your normal 18 year-old kid. There are pics of him playing golf, and a pic of a baby- not sure if it's his, since there is no description under the pic. But Adam is much cooler than any other 18 year-old golfer in Alaska. Get this: he has fake gold teeth! Now I'm even jealous of him. They aren't the Lil Jon kind- you know- real. They look more like the plastic vampire teeth you get at Spencer's Gifts around Halloween.

There's not much more I can say about Adam, so I'll just leave you with this (call it your moment of Zen, if you will):