Why I Love Jewish Men

I’ve always had very eclectic taste when it comes to men- I’ve never been one of those women who has specifications when it comes to who she will date: “I only date men who are over 6 feet tall, with dark hair and blue eyes.” To me this seems ridiculous. By setting certain limits on whom you will and will not date, you are discounting so many eligible men, many of which will probably treat you much better than the small specific group that you limit yourself to. I, on the other hand, am an “equal opportunity dater.” Whether the guy is black, white, Latino, Middle Eastern, tall, short, blonde, or brunette, I date the person, not the image. Granted, we are all attracted to certain features, and attraction is extremely important in a relationship (I would never say “looks don’t matter,” because they absolutely do), attraction will not make you laugh when you’ve had a rough day.

That being said, I have, however, always had a thing for Jewish men. My first encounter with Judaism was in the sixth grade. I lived in a very small town in Pennsylvania, and there was only one Jewish person in my class. While I spent many of my younger years all over the world (military brat), I don’t remember anyone celebrating anything other than Christmas. I was intrigued by the fact that his parents wouldn’t let him be a part of “Secret Santa” because they didn’t celebrate Christmas. My parents were slightly anti-religion (as am I), and never taught me about religions, or about my family’s religious roots.

But it wasn’t until college that I started learning more about Judaism. That’s when I started dating my first “Jew boy” (his words, not mine). And thus began my love of Jewish men. So, without further ado (and because I love lists)- the reasons why I love Jewish men:

1. Great Oral Sex. It was with said Jewish boyfriend that I first had an orgasm from oral sex. In fact, only one other boyfriend before him had even gone down on me (and not very well). I think it’s because of all of the tongue olympics they have to endure while speaking Hebrew, but it’s been my experience that Jewish men are great with the oral. And to this day, I can still say that he was the absolute best when it came (all puns intended) to oral. No one (except my little battery-operated boyfriend) has even come close.
   
2. They are Happy that You Aren’t a JAP. The IJC breaks down Jappy behavior far better than I ever could, so take a look at his site. From what I can gather, most Jewish men would much rather be with a Shiksa than with a JAP. Now, most of my good friends know how much I hate when people feed a stereotype, and JAPs are no exception. I think that most Jewish men try (at least during their youth) to date Jewish women, but there’s only so much nasal whining a man can take. And, being a Shiksa dating a Jewish man, no amount of whining that you do could ever compare to the whining that their female counterparts do.
   
3. They Come with a Circumcision Guarantee. Any woman who has been in the dating game for some amount of time has encountered one or two “uncut” men. Everyone has their preferences, and some women love the turtleneck, but I am not one of them. The only way to be absolutely sure (before sex, that is) that the man I am dating is, in fact, circumcised, is to date a Jewish man. More and more parents are deciding that circumcision is unnecessary and cruel, so more and more men are wearing turtlenecks. Especially, given that my dating age range could mean that the man I’m dating may have raised by hippies. But, given that circumcision is a rite of passage- a ceremony, in fact- Jewish men will always be “cut.”
   
4. Manners. Most Jewish men were raised by Jewish women. And, if nothing else, they mind their manners. I am a little old-fashioned when it comes to manners, and I don’t think there is ever a good reason to forget them. Luckily, neither do Jewish mothers.
   
5. Humor. I have yet to meet a Jewish guy that wasn’t at least a little bit funny. Nothing beats the self-deprecating humor that Jewish guys all seem possess.
   
6. Hava Nagila is one hell of a catchy tune.

So there it is. Just a few of the reasons that I love the Jewish guys. And for anyone who hasn’t seen it, please watch The Hebrew Hammer. Adam Goldberg is the "baddest Heb this side of Tel Aviv."