My Superpower

Friday, July 14, 2006


I've mentioned this before in passing, but I have a "superpower." And it sucks. I have super hearing. Kind of. My ears are extremely sensitive to certain sounds. Basically, anything loud. There are also certain pitches that are excruciating to my ears. I used to work with this girl (who would fit into the description of an IJC), who's voice was loud and nasally. When she was speaking in a normal tone, her voice was only mildly painful, but when she would get excited, her voice would go up an octave and get louder. I literally had to cover my ears. This is probably the reason for my intense dislike of whistling- it simply hurts my ears. In normal settings, I can also hear pretty much anything. Someone is talking on the phone two offices from mine with their door closed? Yep, I can hear it. It comes in really handy when bosses are in closed-door meetings and everyone in the office wants to know what's going on. I'm their spy-hero.

There is also a down-side to my superpower (other than certain sounds literally hurting my ears). In loud settings, or large crowds, I can not distinguish one sound from another. Even if a friend is right next to me, talking into my ear, I can not separate their voice from the surrounding noise. It's almost a sensory overload. It's the reason I don't go out to bars or clubs very often. And when I do go out, I usually end up just starting a tab at the bar and paying with my credit card- because I can't hear what the bartender is saying. I never know how much my drink is, so I just give the bartender the Visa, and find out what the damage was when I sign the check.

I'm not exactly sure where I got my superpower, since no one else in my family has it; although, I used to think my mom did- it seemed she heard everything. Maybe I was exposed to toxic waste as a baby. Or maybe I was born in a nuclear test site. Who knows.... all I know is that my power is virtually useless and keeps me from going out and partying.

13 comments:

Cody 7/14/2006 01:41:00 PM  

It's a gift, and a curse.

I-66 7/14/2006 02:30:00 PM  

...bitten by a radioactive spider?

Ashburnite 7/14/2006 02:36:00 PM  

cody- amen.

i-66- maybe that's what happened!

ender 7/14/2006 03:02:00 PM  

interesting ... my partner has the same issue, but hers indicated some hearing loss. she's got a wierd deal where certain noises make her ears hurt ... but she doesn't have the super-power hearing that you do.

Leon 7/14/2006 04:54:00 PM  

At least you have a superpower.

Yvonne 7/14/2006 06:23:00 PM  

I think you might have Superior canal dehiscence:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superior_canal_dehiscence

Kirsten 7/14/2006 06:30:00 PM  

oh lord, something else with a name...lol..too funny, ash...only you...anyways, I wish you could share some of that super hearing with my hubby, cuz I am sooo tired of repeating myself, and hearing.. what did you say? or HUH?..essh..anyways...waiting to see if your coming online..lol..hopefully I will talk to you soon..
:)Just me

KassyK 7/14/2006 10:55:00 PM  

Wow that is crazy. I used to think I had super eyesight as a child and was convinced I could see atoms. :-) But I'm sorry that it keeps you from getting accurate drink prices and going out...now THAT is not right.

Tara 7/15/2006 07:43:00 AM  

Maybe since you've got super hearing, maybe there's another gift that can compliment that one that you don't know about yet...If you were bitten by a radioactive spider like i-66 suggests, try to see if you can climb the walls. :)

nicole 7/16/2006 12:14:00 AM  

Wow, have you ever had your ears checked out by a hearing specialist? Not because there's something wrong with them but because you're curious.

Pikkel Weezel 7/16/2006 06:40:00 PM  

What a waste of a superpower. The only super power a women should have is sucking cock with her dentures out.

Ben 7/18/2006 09:40:00 AM  

"I've mentioned this before in passing, but I have a "superpower." And it sucks. I have super hearing. Kind of. My ears are extremely sensitive to certain sounds. Basically, anything loud."

You can hear anything loud?! That's incredible!

Just kidding... :-)

IFly 7/19/2006 11:53:00 AM  

I have a similar unfortunate "superpower" sense of smell. I don't know how many hotel rooms I've had to change because of a peculiar odor that doesn't seem to affect others. But I can track down fresh baked cookies from blocks away.

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