Yep....Still Assholes

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Yeah, so the class reunion was a big old waste of time. And money. You would think that after 10 years people would have grown up a little. Not so much. Let me tell you guys- $35 per person doesn't get you much at all- not even in rural Pennsylvania. They fed us pre-packaged sliced ham, canned potatoes, canned corn, and rolls- straight from a package. There was a keg of Miller Lite and a couple of bowls of punch- which was supposed to be alcoholic, but I'm seriously doubting that, considering I had about 30 glasses of it and absolutely no buzz.

On to the assholes.....

Remember how I told y'all that I was in lust with Pete all through high school, then we finally hooked up senior year? That hookup turned out to be (still) the worst (consentual) sex ever. I had only been with 2 guys before Pete. The first guy was basically because I just wanted to get the whole thing over with. I didn't want to be a virgin anymore. The second one was a guy I dated for about a year. Then there was Pete. It happened at his friend's house- he had picked me up after work. He didn't even drive me home afterwards- he had one of his friends drive me home- a friend who tried to get on me in the car. Pete also didn't talk to me after that night. So, needless to say, I hoped that he was bald and fat. Boy was I disappointed. He was even better-looking than in high school. He was downright hott. Bastard.

Then there's Audra. She was the definition of evil. She was Regina from Mean Girls. Absolutely heinous bitch. She made my life a living hell. And she wasn't even that pretty. So it pretty much goes without saying that I was praying that she was fat and ugly. Another disappointment. It seems someone has a very obvious eating disorder- and has had a LOT of..ummm.... "work" done. She's had more than one procedure. She finally got rid of that frying pan face...and finally waxed her moustache. I did, however, take comfort in the fact that she did look like a high-priced hooker. And she's still a total bitch. Didn't even say hi. Pete even said hi to me. Good riddance.

And would someone please tell me how it's possible that this girl didn't have a date to prom? She and a few of her friends went stag.
That's one of my secrets. Thought I'd share it with y'all. I didn't have a date to prom.


Needtsza 7/23/2006 10:01:00 PM  

shit. I wasn't gonna even go to prom because of the shitheads in my school, but some chick asked and how do you say no?

Anyway, I coulda told ya none of these people change, Hence my not going to my 10 year reunion.

Glad you went and found out why not to go to the next reunion.

team gingerbread 7/23/2006 10:12:00 PM  

My date to prom was an ex of mine. We were current when we made the decision to go together, and broke up right before prom so we couldn't find other dates in time.

We spent the entire night making catty comments about each other while getting progressively drunker.

He almost got arrested for stealing a golf cart at the country club our prom was held at that night too

Ricardo 7/23/2006 10:33:00 PM  

We'll if I was in the area back then I would have taken her. Pretty girl.

As for they high priced hooker babe, I can't imagine she was hot with the lights on. I've seen the type and lots of alcohol is needed to survive the night with the likes of that.

Canned good for food? Unacceptable.

Ashburnite 7/24/2006 08:24:00 AM  

needtsza- I'm actually glad I went (to prom). My friends and I ended up having a really good time. Wish I could say the same for the reunion.

gbread- wow. sounds like a great time. At least you got to laugh at him for getting arrested. That must have made things a little more bearable.

ricardo- awwww....see..too bad you're all the way in CT. You are becomming more and more the "perfect man" :-)

KassyK 7/24/2006 09:03:00 AM  

Yeah seriously...SHE IS NOT A CUTE girl. You were and still are much cuter. :-) I'm sorry it was such a waste but here watch my bitchiest come out in full force--it is rural Pennslyvania...I bet if either one of them went to my high school they would have been in the not just "dorky" club but the SUPER dorky club. And not you my love. Not you.

Kathy 7/24/2006 10:19:00 AM  

I went to prom with 2 girlfriends and we had the best time without dates. Danced with all our guy friends and wouldn't have changed a thing!

BTW, thanks for the reunion laugh. My 10 year in next summer. We're about 90% sure we're NOT going to bother. The other 10% of me is curious, but I'm convinced a decade isn't enough time to break old habits.


Tara 7/24/2006 11:12:00 AM  

I admire you for going stag. I didn't go to prom at all!

It's sad when those people haven't used those ten years after school to fully mature. All I can think of is "Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion" when they confront the three nasty women: "Oh yeah? Well...I hope your babies come out looking like monkeys!"

Avin 7/24/2006 11:12:00 AM  

At least you got to go to the prom girl, I was knocked up. Kinda hard to put a basketball in a dress and make it look flattering. You were too cute though in your pretty dress. Dudes didnt know what they were passing up.

AlienCG 7/24/2006 11:39:00 AM  

I decided not to go to my 10-year reunion and I won't go to any other high school reunion. I am going to the 50-year anniversary of my grade school.

I went to two proms, one during my Junior year for my then-girfriend's school and my senior prom.

AlienCG 7/24/2006 11:39:00 AM  
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jenjen 7/24/2006 01:40:00 PM  

I don't know how she didn't have a date. She is gorgeous with outstanding taste in evening wear might i add. Pete was cutie. Bitch has a bitch name to top it off, any Audra carries that trait...she's hidee (hidious)
I did not go to prom nor my ten year reunions. sob, cry...because the rich people intimidated me mostly. Ahh to be so young and are my utmost envy now.
I'm looking at my 20yr in 2010. Tempted but deterred.

DCVita 7/24/2006 02:18:00 PM  

Those things are overrated anyways. I did not go to my 10 year and I had no desire. Most likely if I hated them back then, I would hate them now. You can't erase some of those memories!

Rachel 7/24/2006 03:01:00 PM  

I had the dubious honor of changing high schools between my Jr. and Sr. year. Due to the difference in curriculum vs. my old school about half of my classes were with underclassmen. I don't think that anyone really even remembers who I am at this point. I certainly didn't get an invite to the 10 year.
Strangely enough, I did get an invite from the school that I went to through Jr. year. Since I live in the midwest and the school is in Washington State, there wasn't much of a chance of me going.
It is the people who were popular in high school that are always the ones that don't change. After 10 years, they realized that their glory years have already happened and that they don't have anything else to really look forward to.
Your best years are yet to come.

The Furtive Wangler 7/24/2006 03:03:00 PM  

Canned food for Pete's sake! After 10 years, they really know how to push the boat out don't they?
That girl was beautiful, I bet plenty of shy guys would've leapt at the chance to take her if only they had the courage to ask.

Dave 7/24/2006 03:50:00 PM  

I went to a Journey concert instead of prom and had the time of my life. The story from that day is worth at least three postings alone!

White Dade 7/24/2006 04:12:00 PM  

You didn't have a date to prom? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Man, even I managed that one. Now, I was still a virgin until age 20, but at least I had a goddamn prom date! Aain, HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kirsten 7/24/2006 07:39:00 PM  

glad its over with tho, i bet...i didn't go to my 20 year, tho, cuz the ten year your right, they DON'T for MY prom date??? well...we are still together...22 years later...ahhhh...aint love grand?? you'd like that...
take care...and talk to ya later
:)Just me

mgc 7/24/2006 09:37:00 PM  

you looked magnificent in your prom dress! dumb, stupid boys who know nothing about a fine woman!

as for the 10 yr. they do suck because everyone is still either living in the past, too worried about the future or concerned about what your peers think of you. i went to my 10th alone having to tell everyone i just got divorced. the people where the same - retarded.

my 20 was fun because i was remarried, but more importantly - i didn't give a rats ass about what anyone thought of me. i like who i am. it made it fun to spend time with the people i was truly friends with.

again - you looked hott! i like the fiero too ;-)

Shelli 7/25/2006 01:17:00 AM  

Man, you were gorgeous! You look like LeAnn Rimes! WTF were those guys at your high school thinking! Assholes is right!

Raincouver 7/25/2006 01:23:00 AM  

I didn't go to my reunion... everyone I want to talk to is still in my life. What's the point of getting into a pissing contest?

I've done quite well for myself, but do I really feel like going to a gym full of people stuck in the past, only to prove myself to losers I neither respect nor admire?


sammygeerock 7/25/2006 08:51:00 AM  

Your gonna hate me, I went to 4 proms. But nuthin' is hotter than an evening gown and a Vette. Woulda made it a 5th for you!

Ashburnite 7/25/2006 09:12:00 AM  

kassy- thanks, love. you're the best!

kathy- I would def. wait until at least the 15 year. but then again, assholes will always be assholes, so they may not have even changed by then.

tara- it's funny you should mention that movie. before the reunion, my friend and I had considered telling everyone we invented post-its...just to see who was quick enough to pick up on the joke.

avin- thanks. I'm sure you would've been able to find a dress ...they make some cute outfits for pregnant women.

Ashburnite 7/25/2006 09:18:00 AM  

acg- thanks for pointing out that you got to go to two proms- and had dates to both. you're only supposed to comment if you didn't go or have a date. don't make me come to ohio and kick your ass :-)

jenjen-'re too sweet. It's amazing now that I look back- at the time I thought I was fat..I was a size 2! I would kill to be that "fat" again. 20 year? I think I would want to go to that one- maybe by then karma would run it's course and turn all of the bitches into fat, hairy, toothless hags :-)

dcvita- I do believe you're right. They all still suck.

rachel- count yourself as lucky- you won't have to suffer through a reunion. It's basically a competition to see who's done the best.

Ashburnite 7/25/2006 09:21:00 AM  

furtive- I wish one of those shy guys had asked!

dave- I'm sure you had much more fun at a concert than you would have at prom.

wd- gee thanks. you're lucky I like you, Matt :-)

kirsten- awww....your hubby was your prom date? that's awesome. not a lot of high school relationships last. you two are my heros :-)

Ashburnite 7/25/2006 09:34:00 AM  

mgc- thanks, sweety...yeah, I'm hoping the 20-year is a little better- and that by then I won't give a damn what those people think. and the car- I loved that car...too bad it was a plastic death-trap :-)

shelli- thanks...I absolutely loved that dress.

raincouver- good point. It really was a pissing contest.

sammy- 4 proms??

E :) 7/25/2006 11:23:00 AM  

I almost didn't have a date to my formal (that's prom in Australian). Got a date at the last minute, then he hooked up with someone else two days before the event and spent the whole night with her.


He's now gay (obviously was at the time but only afterwards came out) and she's massively obese. I should be happy about this, but it still doesn't change the fact that they ruined the evening for me.

Ashburnite 7/25/2006 11:34:00 AM  

e- wow, yeah, nothing can give you back that time. It sucks that he ruined your prom.

nicole 7/25/2006 10:11:00 PM  

I think it's actually better that you didn't have a date to the prom. You could have ended up like me -- on the arms of the biggest loser on the Eastern seaboard.

Put it this way, he had a dry baked potato and a glass of water for dinner and the bill came in at less than $2. He couldn't even pay it.

nicole 7/25/2006 10:15:00 PM  

As for the reunion (because you begged me to continue the story) it actually wasn't that bad.

My classmates were much nicer than I remembered but it helps that almost none of them remembered who the hell I was.

And the guy I had a crush on for the last two years of high school admitted that he'd always had a crush on me. But then he turned out to be even weirder than I remembered so I ran away from that as fast as I could.

thordora 7/29/2006 12:07:00 PM  

nicole, your story is exactly why I intend to never go to any reunion.

Oh, and the fact that any of my classmates that would go were a bunch of dickheads.

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