The Annoyance

Have you ever worked with someone who annoyed you so much that their mere presence pissed you off? Like as soon as they walk in the room, you are instantly annoyed? I work with someone like that. He falls into so many annoying co-worker categories that it is impossible even to come up with a good nickname for him, other than "The Annoyance". And trust me, I have tried to not be so annoyed, but I really can't help it. So here is a list of all of the categories he falls into, so maybe y'all can see where I'm coming from. And as I'm thinking of each category, I'm realizing that it all comes down to common courtesy. Of which he has none.

1. "The Stink": He bathes in cologne. Bad cologne. Cologne which I am allergic to. I suffer through every day with itchy, watery eyes...not to mention the constant sneezing. I don't know exactly which cologne it is, but it's horrible. Smells like a dirty old man. And he wears so much of it that you can tell exactly which parts of the hotel he has walked through within the last hour. It's even become a joke...someone will come in to the office in the morning, and even when he is in the lobby, they will say, "oh, I can tell (Mr. Stinky) is here today." Someone even mentioned to him that I was allergic to his cologne...he still wears it. Ignorance. I think it would take our GM telling him to stop bathing in it for him to see it as a problem.

2. "The Mouth": His office is 4 doors down from mine and around a corner, yet all day I hear him talking. It's obnoxious. And he uses a Nextel in the hallway between our offices. We all know how much I hate that. I generally don't like loud people...unless they are the fun kind of loud..and that's only in social settings. Maybe because I'm so quiet and don't see the need to speak loudly. You can make your point and be heard without sounding like you are talking to your 90 year-old deaf grandmother. It's just another thing that shows that he has no respect for other people.

3. "The Expert": He knows everything and every one...and wants to make damn sure we all know it. He is the expert on every subject. If you are going on vacation to Bora Bora, he lived there and can tell you exactly where to stay, eat, and go clubbing. He will tell you that country's socio-economic status, their average income, and population. Even if it's completely incorrect information. He just wants everyone to know that he knows everything. If you are going to get your MBA, he can tell you exactly which classes you need to take- screw the university's requirements..he knows more than they do. He will never admit to not knowing something; he'll just bullshit his way through. And by the way, most of what he says is complete bullshit.

4. The "Something to Add" guy: He always has to "add something" at every meeting. Even if it's completely irrelevant to what the meeting is about. This ties in pretty closely to "The Expert." Since he is the expert on every subject, he feels the need to enlighten everyone- or at least to try to convince everyone that he knows. Remember the "team retreat" I had last month? Well, we each had to give a presentation. Well, as soon as I heard Cute Boss say that he'd like participation from the group, I knew we were in trouble. The presentations were supposed to be each person's chance to shine (or, in some cases- like me-, try to get over a fear of speaking in front of people). Wouldn't you know that every single presentation became his presentation. He butted in and gave his "expert" opinion. Every. Single. Time.

5. "The One-Upper": No matter what you've done, he's done it better and faster. If you run for 90 minutes, 6 days a week, he runs for 4 hours, 8 days a week. Then he swims 12 miles and rides his bike 240 miles every weekend. The "one-upper" is arguably the most annoying office personality, and he does it with gusto. No matter where you've been, what you've done or are doing, he's done it. Better than you.

6. "The Whistler": One of my biggest pet peeves (and I know, I have quite a few of them) is whistling. It is one of the most inconsiderate things a person can do to the people around them. Maybe it's because I have such sensitive ears (certain pitches literally hurt my ears), but when someone around me is whistling, my ears feel like they do when I have a migrane...they throb. And he is constantly walking around whistling- very loudly.

7. "Mr. Money Bags"/"The Show-Off": Somehow, the guy is loaded- or at least he claims to be. And he has no problems telling everyone exactly how much money he has. Ooohh..."I just bought a townhouse that I'm renting out. Real estate is such a good investment. But then again, I didn't have to finance it...I just paid for it out-right." Here's a thought, Mr. Show Off: NO ONE CARES!

8. "Mr. Unfairly Promoted": Promoted probably isn't the right term, because the position he is in now is actually a lower position than he was in before the "promotion." But I can guarantee you that he didn't take a pay cut. He was in an executive position before- one in a completely different department which has almost nothing to do with what he is doing now. Now he's a catering manager. In order to be a catering manager in a hotel this size, with this much demand, a person has to have a LOT of relevant experience. He does not. He has never worked in catering. Yet, he wanted to try it, so they moved him into that position. I know for a fact that he makes more than either of the other catering managers- and they know their jobs and pretty much rock. So it's completely unfair to them. Now they have to teach him and hold his hand through the entire process, all the while knowing he is making more money than them and does not deserve the job. Before you say it, no I am not personally bitter about his "promotion," because there is no way in hell I'd want that job. It's just that our sales assistant knows that job, knows the hotel, and would have been great at that position, plus it would have been a great opportunity for her to move up, but she was never given the chance.

9. The "No Manners" Guy: If you are walking out the door behind him, he will not hold the door- he'll let it close in your face. He interrupts. He talks over people. He does not respect people's personal space. If you are trying to walk past him and he is blocking the way, he will not move. Basically, anything that you can think of that shows poor manners, he's guilty of it.


So there you have it. The reason I am so annoyed at work. And trust me, I am trying like hell to at least tolerate him (because I have no other choice). Any suggestions?