She'll pretty much have to: a woman's opinion

One of my favorite bloggers, Bad at Life recently posed some questions about jewelry ads- basically, why "women are so drawn to small sparkly rocks." I was going to answer in the comments, then realized I had a lot more to say than a few words, so I'm responding on here.

While I agree that some of the commercials are pretty damn lame (especially the "He went to Jared" ones), I do have to (shamefully) admit that I get a little choked up during some of the other ones. Yes, I am a total sap- that, and I've never received expensive (or even reasonably nice) jewelry from anyone other than my family. And I am a hopeless romantic- I've always wanted one of those "grand romantic gestures" from someone.

But to address the question that B@L posed, there are a few reasons women like to receive jewelry. First, in general, women express their feelings more often and openly than men do. We are the more affectionate gender.* So, while we may know that you love us, sometimes we like something more physical to show that love. Hence the whole "jewelry/flowers" thing. Most of us are not very subtle about our feelings for a man, while men are a lot less expressive. That's the briefest answer.

Secondly, our love of pretty things is ingrained in us from childhood. Look at the difference in children's clothing- boy's clothing is more functional, while girl's clothing is meant to be cute. Take skirts- there is absolutely nothing functional about skirts, except that they are less constricting and a lot cooler than pants in warm weather. And how many little girls are walking around with purses? Do they need them? Are they carrying wallets and car keys in them? No. They carry them because they are cute. And even as adults- we women wear some of the most uncomfortable garments you can imagine (pantyhose, anyone?), while men's clothing is about 200 times more comfortable- and functional. I wear skirts- a lot. Which means that (at work) I have to wear pantyhose (specifically thigh-highs). Not very comfortable, but definitely more flattering than pants. And women's shoes? I just bought a pair (which are my new favorites) of black, pointed-toe, 3" stillettos. Should I be wearing something more practical (especially given the size of the hotel I work in), like flats? Absolutely. But I won't, because these are pretty, and well, very sexy. Look back in time, as well.... even before electricity, women were working outside in dresses. Women also wore corsets. Neither of which were practical. But we like pretty things.

So yes, jewelry is not practical, and when you think about it, paying big bucks for a piece of rock isn't practical, but that's just what we've been taught to like (and appreciate).

And guys, with the holiday season approaching, here's a little advice for you- please, please, please don't get the woman in your life a kitchen appliance- while she may need a new blender, it's not a good present. Or, if you do, please get her something nice to go with it- like this. Rule of thumb- the less practical and the more pretty, the better the gift.

*these are vast generalizations, and in no way reflect all women or all men.

edit- I am not saying that anyone should spend 3 grand on a necklace, and I'm not sure I would want something that expensive. I just used that necklace as an example and didn't even look at the price.

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Wow, are we stupid

I fully believe that you should have to pass an IQ test before being allowed to breed:

"4.4 million Polly Pocket toys recalled after kids swallow magnets
Associated Press Posted November 21 2006, 5:08 PM EST

WASHINGTON -- Mattel Inc. is recalling 4.4 million Polly Pocket magnetic play sets after three children were hospitalized with serious injuries from swallowing tiny magnets that fell off the toys, the Consumer Product Safety Commission announced Tuesday. As the holiday gift-buying season approaches, the commission is urging shoppers to avoid buying toy sets with small magnets for children under age 6. Gift buyers also should check the toy labels, select age-appropriate toys and avoid gifts with sharp edges and small parts.
In 2005, there were 20 toy-related deaths and 152,400 toy-related injuries involving children under age 15. The majority of injuries were sustained from riding toys."

It never ceases to amaze me how idiotic Americans are. You give your small child a very small toy, with very small parts, then let them play with it unsupervised, and then feel justified in complaining (and possibly suing) the company because your child did what kids do and put that very small toy in his mouth and choked on it? Seriously; does everyone lose any shread of common sense the second they procreate? The company should not have to recall the toys- you should have your children taken away, since obviously you don't know how to care for them (or don't want to).

On another note- Happy Turkey Day, everyone! And, please parents, keep any turkey bones (or anything else your kid may choke on) out of their reach.

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Great Weekend

When you drink an entire bottle of champagne (yourself) before 11:00 am (I know, I'm a priss, but I'm allergic to beer (gluten), and I figured liquor would be a little tough at 8:00 in the morning).

When you really know how to tailgate: (we had a tent, a grill, some yummy breakfast, space heaters, and a paper football table) (my little cousin and his friends really know what they're doing)

When you end up having rock star seats- end zone, 11th row- and are close enough to see the blades of grass:

When the stadium is packed with about 109,000 fans, screaming "We are," "Penn State" simultaneously:

When you literally have to keep your friend from throwing her cell phone at the opponent team's creepy mascot (we were right next to the Michigan State section).

When your team's cheerleaders out-number the other team's by 48 to 6.

When your team wins, despite the lack of a good offensive line (we really need a new QB)

When you still have almost no voice and a wind-burnt face two days later.

Yeah, it was a great weekend. And congrats to Ohio State as well.

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I bleed blue & white

Guess where I'll be this weekend:
And it looks as if JoePa may actually be able to coach this game. Last week was the first time since 1977 that he missed a game, and only the second game in his 41 years as head coach (the other time was when his son was in an accident). Now that's a REAL coach. I was pleasantly surprised last weekend when one of my sorority sisters called and invited me. We'll be staying in Altoona (since getting a hotel room in State College on a game weekend for under $400/night is damn near impossible), and plan on tailgating at around 8:30 tomorrow morning (yeah, we're crazy like that). Should be pretty fun. And I'm going to love seeing my team beat the crap out of MiniJonB's Spartans.

I joined in the fun at Sour N Sweet and created my own South Park character. I think it's pretty accurate:

I also created one for George Cloony (hope he doesn't mind me posting it):

Anyways, hope y'all have a great weekend! See you next week!

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Shame on you

First, if you haven't already, read this. I am sad to say that I am very disappointed in my favorite blogger. While, I am not easily offended, that post truly pissed me off. Saying that any woman over a size 8 is not attractive is the kind of thing that encourages eating disorders, especially saying something like:

"A celebrity example of someone "too fat" to be attractive: Dr. Torres (Sara Ramirez) on Gray's Anatomy. Too fucking fat for me."

Sara Ramirez is a healthy example for young women, especially women who were not born with a small frame. Some women are just bigger. It's nice to see a woman on tv who isn't grotesquely thin. Not everyone is meant to be a size 2, and those of us who aren't petite can nearly kill themselves trying to be. Literally. I was a size 2 at one point, and because of that, I now have heart problems and am missing a portion of my stomach lining. Yeah, but it's so much more important to be thin- then maybe I can find a man who is only interested in my body, and doesn't give a damn about the real me. Luckily, I'm more grounded in reality, and, even though I need to lose some weight, I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin than I was when I was thin- and have met someone who actually looks beyond the superficial. While I may not have the body I wish I did, I don't consider myself "fat." I am large- and most of my size is muscle. Despite my size, I have a surprisingly low body fat ratio.

While everyone has their preferences when it comes to attraction, any man who would prefer a vapid, shallow and self-absorbed woman who resembles a 12 year-old boy to a size 10 woman who is intelligent, funny, and caring needs to take a look inside at his own insecurities (note- I'm not necessarily talking about the author of the afore-mentioned post, just men in general). Yes, we all are attracted to certain things, but to completely discount dating a women based souly on the fact that her ribs don't show and her breastbone isn't protruding from her chest? Come on, you have to be more intelligent than that.

And men who only date freakishly thin girls are always bitching about how all of the women they date are physcho bitches. Well, not eating (or vomiting everything you eat) tends to make you extremely irritable. Take my cousin (the former fitness model)- she has dealt with the pressure to be thin for years now. She is 5'10, and when she was modeling, was a healthy (and very muscular) size 6. But she wasn't thin enough. So she stopped eating. Then, started throwing up. Now she's a coke head- she's now a size 0 and weighs MAYBE 100 pounds. She can no longer model. She looks like a skeleton. And old. It's sad- she used to be pretty and healthy. She also had a personality. Now she is a psychotic, self-absorbed, high-maintenance drama queen. One example- this summer I was at a bar in Solomons Island with her, her boyfriend, and his friend (who he hadn't seen in a long time). The guys were talking, and she turns to me and says "(boyfriend) isn't paying attention to me. Should I make a big deal out of this?" My answer? A very big "NO!" She and her boyfriend live together and work together. He hasn't seen this friend in months. And he's supposed to be focused on her??? Come on. Give the guy some freaking space. Well, she didn't listen and made a scene. It blew up, and (needless to say) boyfriend wouldn't speak to her. The next day, she faked a migraine to get sympathy from him. Honestly, I don't know how a man can live with that kind of bullshit. That's what you can expect from the grotesquely-thin women. enjoy.

Women come in all shapes and sizes, and most are beautiful in some way. Maybe more men should look for that beauty in something other than toothpick thighs.

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And I thought I was unique

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 13 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Would you believe that 1 of those people who stole my name actually lives in this area and is close to the same age? yeah, wierd.

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Notes

I know, I've been slacking on the blog lately. Things have been crazy. Busy at work, fighting the flu, and spending time with someone special have consumed all of my time.

New friend took me to Cirque du Soleil Wednesday night, which was awesome. If you haven't seen one of their shows, I highly recommend it. Amazing.

I wasn't feeling great, and had to take Thursday and Friday off from work. Luckily, I had someone to take care of me :-).

Friday night I dragged my flu-ridden ass to Happy Hour. Yes, I was sick, but how often is your favorite blogger, White Dade, in town? And yes, ladies, he really is a cutie. My favorite line of the night- a certain female blogger put it best when she said, "Who is that guy in the grey shirt? Oooohhhh...he's pretty." Also in attendance: Virgle Kent, the beautiful Velvet in Dupont, I-66 (what a sweety), Allan (my favorite wine guy), HomeImprovementNinja, Joe Logon, Ar-Jew-Tino, birthday girl HeyPretty, EJTakesLife, Throwing Hammers, Red, Irish Red (who's link is not working), VPofDior (looking fabulous, as usual), commenter extraordinaire- who wrote the sweetest things about me- David in DC; and one of my favorite new people- seriously, this girl is the sweetest, most adorably bubbly and refreshing person I have met in a long time- The View from Dupont. And, of course, my new friend came as well.

So who is this new friend? Hmmm.... Well, I'm not giving many details (since I tend to jinx things when I talk about them), but he is a sweetheart and I love spending time with him. That's all you get right now. But, since everyone needs a blog nickname, allan (who met him Friday) is insisting that I should refer to him as George Clooney, since he does have some Clooney-esque qualities.

Then, Saturday, we went to see Borat. Holy effing shit. SO funny. I literally laughed so hard my stomach hurt. Really- go see it.

That's it for now.

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Hump Day Hottie

I'm going to borrow from Rachel here*, who posts weekly "hump day hottie." My hottie this week is a duo- the new Governor and Lieutenant Governor of Maryland: Martin O'Malley and Anthony Brown. These two make politics much more interesting, and have made yours truly pay a lot more attention to Maryland's races (which, normally I wouldn't really care about). What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good-looking political type, and I've got a crush on O'Malley- he's bringing sexy back to politics.

*Rachel actually writes a well, thought-out bio about each hottie. I'm too lazy for that today. A long night of watching the polls and rubbing elbows with political types has me pretty worn out. The highlight of the evening- I got to chat with Governor Tim Kaine and met Mark Warner (the former Governor of VA). Exciting evening.

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I'm jumping on the bandwagon....

...and encouraging everyone to get out and vote (democrat). It doesn't matter who you vote for (democrat), just as long as you do it. And, since my friend Carl Spackler posted a quote by a republican, I will as well. From Urban Dictionary, today's word of the day:

November 07, 2006: Macacahttp://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Macaca&defid=1917720

A racial slur used by Senator George Allen, which literally means "monkey." Recently used by the Senator while campaigning in [Virginia].While campaigning, Senator George Allen made the following remark about one of his constituents -- an Indian American [UVA] student who was born and raised in Virginia, who was filming the event: "This fellow here over here with the yellow shirt, Macaca, or whatever his name is. He's with my opponent... Lets give a welcome to Macaca, here. Welcome to [America] and the real world of Virginia."

And, on that note, my hotel is hosting the election party for Jim Webb (George Allan's competition), which hopefully will be a victory party. We are supposed to have a very special guest (sorry, no hints), so I have volunteered to stay late and help in the lobby, hoping that maybe, just maybe I'll get to meet this special guest.

And speaking of guests, one very thoughtful guest gave me a present today- some Philosophy products. I had helped her out with some reservations, up-graded her room to a suite, and basically made sure everything was set for her. I mention this, because since our reservations supervisor is out on maternity, I have been taking over those responsibilities (basically doing two very demanding jobs), and this is the first time a guest has thanked me for going out of my way to help them. I make these kind of arrangements all of the time, yet not very many people seem to appreciate it. The fact that she was so appreciative really put a smile on my face. Just think of that next time someone really puts in the effort to help you- a small sign of appreciation will probably make their day.

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Stripped

A new (and potentially good) friend and I have been talking a lot about our insecurities lately. He commended me for putting it all out on this blog. But I really haven't, at least not all at once, for fear of being called a "trainwreck." I am a very insecure person, and while my skin has gotten much thicker, I still care about what people think of me. But, I'm hoping that putting it all out there will help me get over some of it. So here goes. And I'm sure most of you won't comment, since this kind of thing makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

I have ADD, OCD, and Acute Social Anxiety. I have panic attacks. I am an emotional masochist. I date people who I know will hurt me. I sabotage any chance that I may have of happiness. When I start to care about someone, I do things to push them away. I don't think that I deserve to be happy. I even push friends away. It's just easier than letting them get close enough to hurt me. At the same time, I am extremely loyal to my friends. I may pick on them, but it's out of love, and if someone else picks on them or tries to hurt them, I come out swinging. I am not comfortable in my own skin. I'm afraid of being happy, because I worry that everything will come crashing down around me. I am never comfortable, in any situation, with anyone, ever. Despite the ADD, I can be extremely focused. But I snap if someone does something to break that focus. I am meticulous with work. I will work 24/7 until something is finished. I hate being wrong. I don't take criticism well. My feelings get hurt very easily. It takes very little to make me cry. But I hate crying in front of people. I am never the life of the party, or the outspoken one. I don't speak up- not in meetings, not ever. I don't defend myself or speak up when someone hurts me. I hate confrontation. I am extremely intelligent, but have no confidence in that intelligence. I am extremely sexual- and very open about it. But I am not a slut.

There you have it. Me- stripped. So go ahead and criticize- do your worst.

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Oh No You Didn't....

Ok, so I wasn't going to touch all of this drama, but I can't help it any more. You mess with my friends, you mess with me. It seems a certain no-talent douche has been criticizing other bloggers like crazy this week. Now, every once in a while the guy brings someone up and bashes on them, but it's gone too far now. Some of you guys may remember him as the asshat who basically called me a snarky bitch when I praised Kathryn's representation of DC bloggers on NBC4. This is also the same guy who kisses everyone's asses at happy hours, and begs them to blogroll him (I'm guessing the guy is desperate for traffic). He also has tried (unsuccessfully) to start a few blogwars, namely between KAC and Jessica Cutler, all the while constantly kissing KAC's ass.

Lately, he has been criticizing the likes of Kathryn, DCB, Wonkette (he's just bitter because they never link to him), FishbowlDC, DCist, KassyK, and Velvet to name a few. Basically, all of the bloggers he's so desperate to be friends with. After reading the anon comments (most likely written by him to make it appear that he actually has traffic on his pathetic trainwreck) on his most recent dig, I was thoroughly disgusted. It's one thing to get into a debate with a blogger because you don't agree with their opinions. It's another to stoop so low as to criticize their appearance, especially in such a crude, disgusting way. I'm not even going to link to it, though, because I don't want that shit getting any attention and I sure as hell don't want to give that tool any traffic.

And now he is calling them the Plastics and cliquey. Well, let me tell you something, BHR- I have only been to two blogger happy hours, mostly because of my shyness. I was terrified to go to one because I have never fit in..... I have never been part of the "popular" crowd. I'm too shy and quiet. But I finally went to one- alone. I walked into Gazuza and headed straight for the bar for some liquid courage. Then, I spotted Kathryn, DCB, V, and DC Cookie near the back of the bar. I summoned the courage and walked up to them. Well, to my surprise, Kathryn recognized me right away and was so incredibly nice. She introduced me to everyone, and everyone was friendly and welcoming. Then I found Kassy. We had been chatting, and I had some idea of how nice she was, but even that paled in comparison to the real Kassy. She is possibly one of the sweetest people I've ever met. And genuine. I also met Velvet, who is now a very good friend.

These people seem cliquey to you, BHR? Maybe you should think about why they don't want you in their blog rolls. Or, why Wonkette won't link to you. Maybe it's because you don't write anything original or personal. You just spew boring blogger news and try to start shit with people. And no one wants to be around that kind of person. And from the perspective of someone who has never been part of the popular crowd? These people are some of the nicest, most welcoming and encouraging people I have ever met. So back off and get a life. Oh, and stop hitting on Virgle Kent. He's never going to sleep with you.

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Limp

Warning: this will perhaps be the most vapid, shallow thing I've ever posted. While it's (for the most part- except for the "only expensive, designer products part) true, it's meant to be a parody*- an inside joke between myself and Velvet. Those of you she knows and trusts enough to have the password to her posts will probably know what (or who) it's a parody of. For the rest of you, I'm sorry, but tomorrow I will post something (a little) less idiotic.

My hair is so limp and yucky today. I have mentioned before how much I love Korre's Natural Products, and their Silk Milk conditioner is great. However, it contains rosemary oil, which is great, but you can't leave it on your hair for too long. I made that mistake last night in the shower. I have fine hair (luckily, there's a lot of it, so it isn't thin and stringy), so I have to basically put this conditioner on then rinse right away. Last night I forgot and started my "dolphin effect" maintenance. Ick. My hair is so oily and limp today. It's a ponytail day. I need to change conditioners, but I only use expensive, designer products, so I need to find another, more expensive conditioner.**

Ok, I hope that wasn't as painful to read as it was to type.

*I know, I am being immature, but my good friend Velvet could use a good laugh, so what are friends for?
**maybe one with a Coach logo all over it...(oops, did I say that?)

Note: Sorry this looks so jacked up....for some reason Blogger isn't publishing line breaks, so everything is one, long run-on paragraph. bastards. I swear I'm thisclose to making the switch to wordpress.

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