To Itch or Not to Itch?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

So I've been doing this whole "not dating" thing for a while now, and by "no dating" I mean none of the fun things that go along with dating. Call it a self-imposed slump (an SIS for short). When I decided to do this, I thought that the reasons were good (not over MU, tired of bad dates, etc.). Now I'm starting to re-think that. I know that, after a break-up, spending time alone is supposed to be very healthy, but, for a neurotic mess like me, I'm really not sure that is the case.

Why, you ask? Because before this SIS, my mind was occupied with making plans or with the guy in my life. Now my mind keeps wandering to places I don't really want it to go- such as thinking about Preppy Co-worker and Cute Boss. I blush any time either of them comes into my office. While at work, I think about them (well, mostly Preppy) in erotic situations. I wonder when I'll be lucky enough to get stuck in an elevator with one of them. I think about doing some very unprofessional things on our boardroom table, or on the copier.

I saw a really good looking guy who was attending a meeting here in the elevator today, and even chatted with him briefly. Now I'm picturing him naked. At any given time, there is a porno being played out in my head. I'm climbing the walls. I feel like a crackhead in need of a fix. I have turned into a boy-crazy, horny teenager. And I only have myself to blame. So why again am I doing this to myself? Fucked if I know. And now, thanks to my OCD, it has to be an even amount of time that has passed before I can do anything about it. I can't stop at 27 days, or 39 days, or even 50 days. It has to be either 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, etc. And I think that, knowing my luck, on that given day, I will either be in a situation whereby I can't have any release, or not dating anyone worthwhile. In which case, I'll have to wait another full month. So what do I do now? Do I give into an urge that will most likely get me hurt (emotionally or otherwise), or do I stick it out indefinitely? Or, should I just be the slut that I never am and just pick up some random guy to scratch my itch? What would you do?

PS- In case you were wondering, I purposely gave a few different lengths of time- I'm not telling you guys exactly how long it has been.


minijonb 5/02/2006 04:03:00 PM  

Just call the local Preppy Jew Escort service and get it over with, girl =;-)

mgc 5/02/2006 04:09:00 PM  


if i were not married (which means i get it maybe once a month if i am so lucky, besides i am too old for you) i would be more than happy to help you out in this situation. i share the OCD thing so that would be fun. (i see germs floating..) maybe if you try to not put so much thought into fighting off the porno in your head and just go home and watch that movie in your head, it might help ease the pressure?

real men do not appreciate a slut for more than a little while (maybe 5 min for most, 15 if you are good) and that is not the kind of lady you want to be just to get laid.

Ashburnite 5/02/2006 05:13:00 PM  

minijonb- they have those!!???? yay!!!!!! I just may have to give them a call- that sounds like my dream-come-true! Where is this supposed escort service?

mgc- aww...why is it always the married guys that find me charming?
Not to fear- I don't think I could do the slutty thing, anyways...I try to be a little more "wholesome" than that.

AlienCG 5/02/2006 08:12:00 PM  

I'm single and I find you charming. Trust me, you will find the right guy.

nicole 5/02/2006 10:31:00 PM  

Dude, looks like you've got MORE than enough of an answer from these guys before I even GOT here! ;)

Seriously, I commend you for lasting...well, however long you've lasted thus far in your SIS quest. But I guess it isn't something you should be FORCING yourself to do. Especially if you're afraid it'll drive you to act in a less than professional manner. ;)

I'm sure this advice helped you none !

Ashburnite 5/03/2006 08:14:00 AM  

alien- why, thank-you. I certainly hope I'll find someone. I'm beginning to think that I'll be alone with 50 cats.

nicole- thanks. any comments help! I'm just hoping this crush that I have on Preppy doesn't start consuming me completely.

Kirsten 5/03/2006 09:02:00 AM  

awww ash...i don't know what to do think your gonna be okay, but I also think your gonna make yourself insane...or more so than you already j/ for the comment from mgc about being married and not gettin it...well I have to say thats so sad, but typical of most married couples..I have been married almost 20 years..and not for nothin, my husband never goes a month am not saying that its like it used to be back in the day...but its definately at LEAST twice a maybe you should be discussing that with your again, your NEVER too old...that thing with the germs floating, tho. I had to laugh..not at you, just the image...but I just had to say that..
anyways ash...I haven't talked to you in awhile..what did you think about last nite's American Idol??? I will try to catch you tonite so you can let me know who got booted..take care girl, and stop watching the movie in your head...just go home,watch the real movie and take care of business...the end result is all the
Love ya!!
Just me

friend jason,  5/03/2006 10:26:00 AM  

Well if it gonna keep you out of trouble... What are friends for?

Virgle Kent 5/03/2006 11:33:00 AM  

It’s weird but I’m going through almost a reverse scenario. I’m not going to brag but I was on a hot streak for a month. Then it’s like all of a sudden, hooking up and sex is becoming boring. Well I should say “normal” sex that is. It’s like I meet a girl and within a couple of minutes I can tell what its going to be like to hook up with her. Most of the time it seems like it will be well “normal” sex. But lately I don’t even want to try anymore. My sexual appetite is evolving and moving in a completely weird direction that’s been freaking me out. I’ll probably post on this some other time. But my advice to you is be an adult, down load some Swedish porn.


blogger is fcuking up today

Ashburnite 5/03/2006 12:19:00 PM  

Kirsten- hey! you are still alive! I actually didn't catch AI last night- I had my first "blog date" with Nicole and Eric, but I taped it, so I'll be watching when I get home.

Friend Jason- I can always count on you to talk me out of doing something stupid.

VK- so apparently you're quite the pimp :-)

Virgle Kent 5/03/2006 01:14:00 PM  

ha ha What! Who have you been talking to?!? No not really, it's just the weather, my stock goes up the hotter it gets out side.

"pimp" is such a dirty word, I’d prefer BCT (Body Compatibility Tester) but I only do volunteer work ;)

Ashburnite 5/03/2006 01:20:00 PM  

VK- I'll have to keep that in mind.

Cody 5/03/2006 01:57:00 PM  

Maybe you should invest in an "electric boyfriend"?

Ashburnite 5/03/2006 02:19:00 PM  

cody- trust me, I have a few of those. they just don't seem to be doing the trick lately.

Ricardo 5/03/2006 10:30:00 PM  

Going through a slump myself I understand where you are coming from. There have been many pornos playing through my mind at all the wrong times as well. I thought it was because I was a man but reading your post, I guess not. I would forget about time limits as that will just get you depressed or rushing into a situation you don't want to be in. Rely on your gut instincts and seize the right moment when it presents itself. I have shut all time tables out of my slump and it's helped tremendously. Still haven't found the right woman but it's not that painful right now.

mgc 5/03/2006 11:21:00 PM  

kirsten - if i had sex twice a week i would be so happy. oh, wait i should say sex with my wife twice a week would be great! (i don't require battreies) we have discussed this "problem" but not much improvement. it is a good thing i really like and love her or i would go find a hottie such as ash. i am not too old for the junk not to work, just too old for a 28 year old. hell i have a daughter who is 18.

as for my germ thing. it is really disturbing and time consuming. i have paper towels in every room that i can wash my hands so i can dry them without touching a germ infested cloth hand towel. and public restrooms... i have to be really, really wasted!

Johnson 5/04/2006 12:34:00 AM  

Shouldn't this post be titled, "To scratch or not to scratch?"

Ashburnite 5/04/2006 08:36:00 AM  

ricardo- it sounds like you have the right mind-set for a SIS. I've read your blog, and, from what I've read, I'm sure you will have no problem finding the right woman.

mgc- so how old are we talking, here? 'cause you know, I do like older men :-). And the germ thing- I'm right there with you.

johnson- you are correct, sir. I realized it after I published the post, and was going to change it, but I am on a live feed with DC Blogs, and when people change the title of thier post, it screws up the link on the feed. Big-time no-no on DC Blogs.

Ashburnite 5/07/2006 03:11:00 PM  

mgc- 40 isn't that old!

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