Don't Take Away My Shoes!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I’m not at all picky when it comes to a guy’s height. I’ve dated tall guys, short guys, average guys, really tall guys, whatever. Height doesn’t matter. But I will say that I’m not really into men that are really scrawny. Tall & skinny: fine. Short and skinny: not so great- for me at least. What does matter to me, however, is whether or not the guy is comfortable with his height. My most recent relationship was with a guy that was 5’10” (not that tall, but certainly taller than me), but he was very comfortable with his height. He was also, by the way, somewhat stocky- his arms and chest were big- but all muscle (damn that’s sexy). There is nothing sexier than a man that is comfortable in his own skin. In fact, I didn’t ever notice the height thing- just because he didn’t seem bothered by it.

What is not fine, however, is a man that is so insecure with his height that he demands that I wear flats. I dated such a guy in college. He was the same height as me (5’7”), give or take a half inch, but when I wore shoes, I was much taller than him. He was threatened by that. He constantly asked (read- demanded) that I change my shoes. Newsflash, buddy- I DO NOT OWN FLATS. The only “flats” that I own are sneakers. And I refuse to compromise on this. I am a shoe addict. I am a “girly-girl.” I will not wear flat shoes. Even if my feet are in so much pain that I can barely walk, you will still not catch me in flats. I would rather suffer the blisters in hot 3” stilettos. Even my flip-flops are 2” platforms. And they are the most comfortable shoes I own. I don’t even feel comfortable in sneakers. I would even wear platform sneakers to the gym if it made sense to do so. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, so I have to wear regular sneakers.

I’m not sure why or when my obsession with big shoes began, but they are the one thing that I will not change. I have replaced funky, cute clothing with the “corporate slave uniform” of black suits, but my shoes remain the one part of my wardrobe that shows personality. They are an indication that, even though my workwear is boring and professional, I do have personality

I spend hundreds, maybe even thousands, of dollars every year on shoes. I cannot walk into Hecht’s or Lord & Taylor without stopping by my favorite section. I am uncontrollably drawn to them. One of my favorite mall experiences is at the Dulles Towne Centre Nordstrom. If you go into the store on the 2nd floor, then take the escalator down to the 1st, it is an ethereal experience. There is usually someone playing the grand piano, and as you descend, you are faced with a huge, beautiful playground of shoes. While listening to classical music, I can try on dozens of shoes that I hope to someday be able to afford. It’s my Mecca.

So to any short man I may date, keep this in mind: don’t EVER ask me to wear flats. My shoes are who I am, and I am NOT flat!


I-66 5/24/2006 10:14:00 AM  

I'm merely 5'8 (I blame the half asian in me - haha) and would readily date a girl taller than I with no shoey demands. I mean, after all, we're mostly the same height when we're horizontal.

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 10:42:00 AM  

66- As long as you don't mind a girl who's tall, you're alright in my book. and like you said, "we're mostly the same height when we're horizontal"- good point.

Andy 5/24/2006 11:34:00 AM  

I don't know if I would date a girl taller than me...of course she'd have to be 6'3" and there aren't that many of them anyway, but still, interesting. I can't imagine I'd force her to switch shoes. What a jerk.

Sweet 5/24/2006 11:42:00 AM  

Yeah I'm 5'7 and I wear heels very often, making me probably about 5'11. I've dated shorter guys who don't seem to mind, and I agree with you that I would never wear flats for the guy I'm dating. It's a shame tho that some men are intimidated by taller women.

mandy 5/24/2006 12:04:00 PM  

Youv'e gotta love shoes, doesn't matter what size the rest of you is your feet always stay the same size, well mine have, I love big shoes, My hubby loves that I love big shoes and he's not that tall, obviously the flatty guy had serious issues!

KassyK 5/24/2006 12:10:00 PM  

I always date tall guys just bc I am a semi-tall girl and have been wearing wedges and sky high platforms for YEARS (not hooker shoes though)...and I'm not a stilleto girl either...I love the GIANT cork wedges...and they are finally in!!

That being said--I love flats too...especially the dainty ballet ones. Just bc my clothing is always what I lovingly call "70s preppy collegiate"...fitted tees and button downs with wide legged pants and shrunken vests---The ballet flats give me a daintiness that even my diamond earrings (yea thats right) cant do.

:-) Ps I AM OBSESSED with those shoes you put pics up of...SO my style...are they the infamous Christian Louboutins?

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 02:02:00 PM  

andy- 6'3", huh? so you're nice and tall.... and yes, he was a jerk.

sweet- yes, it is a shame that some men are that sensitive about it.

mandy- yes, he had so many issues- the shoe bit was just the tip of the iceberg.

kassy- giant cork wedges are the best- in fact, I am wearing them right now. I can't rock the ballet flats- it's wierd now- I can't even walk in them.
and the shoes I put on here? they do look like Christian Louboutins, don't they? I'll let you in on a secret- they're actually Nine West. Can you believe that?

mgc 5/24/2006 02:03:00 PM  

i love all women. i am 5'8" and my wife is 5'7" and she wears heels and damn does it ever turn me on!

the old saying - nose to nose, your toes are in it; toes to toes your nose is in it!

didn't i just post about loving shoes?

Cody 5/24/2006 02:06:00 PM  

I hate my Nikon Coolpix. It would be 100 times better if I could just download pictures without having to use that stupid dock. And don't say "card reader" I'm too cheap to buy one.

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 02:23:00 PM  

mgc- so heels turn you on, huh? ;-)
and yes, you did, that's one of the things that prompted me to write this post. I love a man that can appreciate a woman's shoes.

cody- mine doesn't have a dock, just a USB cord- I just plug the camera in, turn it on, and vwala! pics on my computer.

mgc 5/24/2006 02:27:00 PM  

there really isn't a whole lot that a woman can wear that doesn't turn me on, because just the thought of what's underneath is exciting. i just love women!!! (and their shoes!)

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 02:29:00 PM  

mgc- so I take it you love women? you aren't gay? ;-)

minijonb 5/24/2006 02:50:00 PM  

Ashburnite: Would you be upset if I now call you "Imelda Marcos"-ite? =;-)

I'm about 5'11'' and I really don't care much how tall a woman is... other factors are much more important.

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 02:55:00 PM  

mjb- actually, you should be calling me "Goddess."

and like 66 said "we're mostly the same height when we're horizontal"

mgc 5/24/2006 03:19:00 PM  

if men had breast and a vagina and smelled good, sure i would be the most raging of gay, but sadly for me, men have none of these fine qualities so i will stick with women. thanks for asking though, it was very thoughtful of you.

NotCarrie 5/24/2006 03:35:00 PM  

As a girl on the taller side, I sometimes am VERY aware of it and tend to not wear high shoes. But I tend to know the shorter guys for some reason.

I like i66's point.

AlienCG 5/24/2006 03:45:00 PM  

So, uh, Ash, you got anything in a 12" heel. I'm 6'7" tall.

minijonb 5/24/2006 04:27:00 PM  

Ashburnite... yes, Goddess, what is your command =:-)

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 05:50:00 PM  

mgc- yeah, I kind of figured you prefered tacos to sausage. You really appreciate the fairer sex- your wife is a very lucky woman.

notcarrie- yeah, I always seem to date short guys. It really doesn't matter to me, as long as they're fine with it.

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 05:51:00 PM  

alien- nice...6'7"....I can wear any shoes I want!

mjb- that's more like it, sugar... that kind of talk will get you everywhere!

mgc 5/24/2006 06:38:00 PM  

lucky? i wouldn't push my luck - she has to live with me!

"get me a beer, baby!" ;p

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 07:01:00 PM  

mgc- don't front- we can all see that you worship women. Any woman would love that kind of attention.

mgc 5/24/2006 07:24:00 PM  

i do worship women and i would be a good dude to have around, but i married the only unromantic woman on the planet. i am more of a "chick" than her and that is very sad!

Ashburnite 5/24/2006 07:54:00 PM  

mgc- wow...that sucks- all of that romance going to waste. tell you what- you can romance me (with your wife's approval, of course)

mgc 5/24/2006 10:43:00 PM  

i told her i was going to find a girlfriend, but that no one wants a short fat guy. if i make it to dc i will romance you for sure. we still have that bottle of wine to finish.

mgc 5/25/2006 10:34:00 AM  

i tried to think of an example of un-romantic. 7 year annv., mgc buys 7 dozen roses (not cheap) buys 12 vases and distributes roses about the living room. mrs. mgc response - "who died" no joke! (i wanted to say you are gunna dud-bud, but i didn't. i just hung my head low and thought about how much alcohol those roses would have purchased)

Ashburnite 5/25/2006 11:24:00 AM  

mgc- oh my gawd- 7 dozen roses??!! that is so sweet. I've never had anyone get me 1 dozen, let alone 7!

Andy 5/25/2006 11:26:00 AM  

Actually I'm 6'2", I just meant that the girl would have to be 6'3" to be taller than me.

I am certainly not nice.

Penn State is awesome by the way. But you knew that. Going to any games this year?

Ashburnite 5/25/2006 11:30:00 AM  

andy- 6'2" is definitely good.

Why do you say that you aren't nice? you don't seem so bad.

I'm hoping to make it to at least 1 game this year- I haven't been able to go to any the past 2 years, so I'm going to try like hell.

minijonb 5/25/2006 01:27:00 PM  

November 18th, 2006: The day Michigan State travels to Penn State and kicks their butts all over the field =;p)

Ashburnite 5/25/2006 01:29:00 PM  

mjb- I seriously doubt that. I think that November 19th will be the day that Michigan State goes home with their heads hung in shame. Y'all are in for a spanking...but maybe that's not such a bad thing ;-)

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