What is happening to celebrity women??

There are some really tragic stories of celebrity demise. Honestly, I'm not sure if it's the water in L.A. or the narcissistic lifestyle, but some of these women are just one drunken bender away from a "True Hollywood Story."

Case in point- our first celebrity demise:

What happens when you lose your virginity to a douche like Justin Timberlake.
I think that Brit's experience with Justin Timberlake must have just been so bad that she was desperately looking for any guy who pees standing up. Enter K-Fed. What a waste of fucking space. Now, Brit may not have been a great role-model for young girls, nor was she the epitome of class, but at least she wasn't Mississippi Trailer Park Trash like she is now. Brit, you used to be so cute. And you had a great body. Look at what Kevin has done to you. Look at what you've become- a baby machine. Seriously, is the sex just that good? Come on, I have a hard time believing that you couldn't get a more desirable guy than him. And really- have you ever heard of birth control? What is this- your 6th kid? 7th? And while you're at home in the trailer, Kevin is out spending the last of your money on toothless strippers and two-dollar hookers. It's so sad how low some women sink for a man.


Example number 2:

What happens when you hang out with vapid, whorish socialites.
Tara Reid used to be a very pretty girl. Granted, like Britney, she wasn't exactly the classiest of women, but she was beautiful. She could've had a good career (not great, but good). Then, after the popularity of American Pie, Tara started hanging out with Paris Hilton. That's precisely the moment she became a joke. She got that horrendous boob job- probably by the same plastic surgeon that "fixed" Paris' beak- I mean nose. Now she's a trainwreck. It's pretty sad when the tabloids even stop running stories of your naked drunken escalades because it's old news. Tara, put down the damn bottle and for God's sake stop showing your tits. No one's interested anymore because we've seen them dozens of times. Sweety, sober up and maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to land a few roles in Lifetime movies; because I don't think there's a chance in hell that you'll be asked to star in any blockbusters any time soon.

What happens when the "Starlet Diet" takes over your life:

Lindsey, you used to be so cute- and healthy. Please- for the love of god- eat something!! A cookie, anything!!

And our last, and most tragic demise:

What happens when you finally land that Hollywood heartthrob:

Please, someone tell me what happened to sweet, intelligent Joey Potter? I know Katie was intelligent at one point- I mean, the script for Dawson's Creek read like War and Peace. And that great performance in Wonder Boys? Come on, Katie- I know that meeting the man that you've been in love with since you saw him dancing in his skivies must be overwhelming, but at what point did you decide, "hey, this Scientology thing is cool." My theory is that Tom slipped her some rufies, and while she was unconscious, performed a lobotomy. There's no other explanation. And now they've breaded?? Scary. She'll never get away now. Katie, I'm sure there must be some support groups for recovering Scientologists, and maybe they'll help you find the missing part of your brain (although, I'm not entirely sure that's possible- it may involve a shuttle mission- I'm sure the church keeps those in jars on some distant planet).