Merry Christmakkah!

I'm in the mountains on dial-up, so I won't be doing much blogging. See y'all on Wednesday.

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Sad day in DC blogs

I'm sad to say that both Circle V and Kathryn have quit blogging. It's a sad day indeed.

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Anons are fun

So, last week, when checking my mail, I noticed that someone had commented on an old post. It was the first post that made it onto Wonkette, but I'm surprised when I still get comments on it, considering how long ago it was. But what surprised me the most was the actual comment. And since the commenter was nice enough to use her real name in the comment (real smart, eh?), I'm going to give you guys the comment in it's entirety (and all it's glory).

The comment was on the "Myspace Trainwrecks" post. If you haven't read it, please do so- it will help you understand the comment.

"dude ur just fuckin jealous that you're not having the time of your life like the people in those pics. i got pics of me in my birthday suit doin a kegstand on sat night and you know what? it ws so fuckin liberating! who the fuck caares man?? just lay back and enjoyyy smoke a blunt, thats what life it about.. doing whatever makes you happy and notgiving a fuck. maybe talking shit about people you dont even know from alaska makes you happy... so hey, keep on at it if it does!! hahah
Lauren [Her Last Name]
Rhode Island"

I'm not going to share the person's name, but since this genius decided to sign hers- and in the comments- I'm guessing she doesn't care about privacy, so go look for yourself. Lauren, sweetie, given that I'm you're under 18, you should probably not use your real name on a blog- especially if you live in a state the size of my back yard. Given the idiotic comment, I'm guessing she has a Myspace page, so I searched for her name and sure enough, there's only one person with her name in Rhode Island with a picture on her page (I'm guessing that someone who lets people take pictures of her doing a naked keg stand wouldn't shy away from posting her pic on her Myspace page). Oh, and she does look like the class ho.

Now, I could really pick her apart, but instead I'm going to give her this. I'm guessing that she doesn't have any of it, or knows the meaning of it. Doing naked keg stands doesn't earn you any respect from anyone, Lauren. Maybe when you grow up (oh, and stop smoking so much pot), you'll realize that. But, given that you are already 17 and have very little grasp of the English language, I'm guessing you'll end up waiting tables at the local Friendly's for the rest of your life. Oh, and I'm hoping there's a free clinic somewhere in your neighborhood.

*by the way, spell-check just went crazy on that comment.

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Stupid question of the day

A very annoying, very slow client called me four times this morning, each question dumber than the previous. Perhaps the worst one:

Client (asking about her group's reservations): "You don't make separate reservations for the couples?"

Me: "No, if it's a couple with the same last name, we just make one reservation."

Client: "But how does the front desk know that they are a couple? Do they ask if they are husband and wife?"

At this point I had to put her on hold, laugh my ass off, compose myself, then pick up the phone again.

Me: "No, the front desk doesn't ask them. If they have one reservation and the same last name and are sharing a room, it's a pretty safe assumption that they are a couple."

Client (not even realizing how idiotic her questions were): "But what if they don't have the same last name, but are sharing a room?"

Me: "then, as you can see from the rooming list we sent you, we make two separate reservations, even if they are sharing a room."

Client: "about the rooming list, how do I know that the two people (names) are in the comp suites we requested?"

Me: "because in the rate column, instead of the group rate, it says $0." (thinking) duh.

Seriously? I hope this woman doesn't work around any sharp objects or heavy machinery.

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Recap

I'm finally getting around to my recap of Blogger Happy Hour (yes, it was 5 days ago). I've been such a slacker lately.

I met a few new people, which was great. Carrie M is awesome, DCVita is hot, and FreckledK in no way resembles her avatar (that's a compliment, by the way). I also had the pleasure of meeting KOB (from DC Blogs), who seemed content to just stand back and watch the craziness (can't say I blame him). It was Kassy's birthday, and V brought an amazing cake (which was yummy, by the way). Poor HomeImprovementNinja was picked on by Velvet about his "European" sweater, but he took it very well. AW and I mostly chilled at the table with Heather B and WiB and watched some almost-drama unfold. BettyJoan unfortunately had to leave early, but did make an appearance. I vaguely remember chatting with Joe Logon, Red, and VP of Dior, but I was a little tipsy by that time- I had taken Brunch Bird's suggestion (at least I think it was her suggestion) and asked the bartender for my drink (Tanqueray & Tonic) in a large glass with double tonic, but I think she misunderstood and doubled the Tanqueray instead. I saw Scarlett and Hey Pretty briefly.

I did not win best breasts, but did tie Kathryn for best grammar. And a tie with the queen bee in any category is an honor.

All in all, it was a good time, and I-66 is doing a great job of organizing these things. There seem to be more and more people at every one.

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Vote for ME!!!

I-66 is winding up the blogging year with some superlatives. I'm hoping for any of the following (hint hint): Best Breasts (they are pretty spectacular); Best Grammar (yeah because I'm a geek like that); or Ms. Congeniality (what? I'm nice to everyone..ok, almost everyone.....as long as you don't annoy me). So get your vote on! Deadline is Friday.

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I think they found him

I wonder if he was nervous while reporting this?

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In my rearview

How is it that no one in the greater DC area knows when it is appropriate to use high- beams and when they need to turn their lights down? Being that I grew up in a rural area, I know that there is virtually no need to ever use them in this area. There are streetlights, people. And other cars. Please, if you aren't used to flipping that little handle to turn them off whenever another car is approaching, then just don't use them at all.

I can't tell you how many times I've been virtually blinded since moving here because some self-absorbed choad doesn't know that it's rude to leave his high-beams on. It's simple, asshat: it's that little handle, similar to the windshield wiper one, and on the other side of the steering wheel. You pull it toward you to change between high- and low- beams. Simple as that.

So please, people, I'm sick and tired of having to re-adjust all of my mirrors to keep from burning out my corneas. And if you see this car (with some Penn State decals) turn your damn lights down:

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Why I hate Chicago

No, I have never actually been into Chicago, but I've been in the cluster-fuck that they refer to as an airport more than my fair share of times- and never had a good experience. Enough that I hate the entire city based soley on their airport. Rachel's post today reminded me of why I detest O'Hare so badly. A bad experience every. single. time. I even hate that airport enough that I would rather take a much longer layover somewhere else than have to step foot in that hell hole again.

Last time I went to Vegas, for the return flight I had 3 options- a one-hour layover in Dallas/Ft. Worth, a two-hour lay-over in Chicago, or a five hour lay-over at LAX. I never opt for the one-hour, because you never know- one delay and you're screwed. So that left Chicago or LA. And I should mention that the few hours difference between the two was a difference between an evening flight (Chicago) or a red-eye (LA). That's how much I hate O'Hare- I opted for the 5-hour layover and a red-eye back to Dulles rather than having a two-hour layover in Chicago. As some of you may know- two hours between flights is never enough when that connecting flight is in Chicago. O'Hare is a jumbled mess of gates, long delays, and even longer holding patterns.

Take my advice- never, never take a connecting flight in Chicago. And O'Hare can kiss my ass.

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She'll pretty much have to: a woman's opinion

One of my favorite bloggers, Bad at Life recently posed some questions about jewelry ads- basically, why "women are so drawn to small sparkly rocks." I was going to answer in the comments, then realized I had a lot more to say than a few words, so I'm responding on here.

While I agree that some of the commercials are pretty damn lame (especially the "He went to Jared" ones), I do have to (shamefully) admit that I get a little choked up during some of the other ones. Yes, I am a total sap- that, and I've never received expensive (or even reasonably nice) jewelry from anyone other than my family. And I am a hopeless romantic- I've always wanted one of those "grand romantic gestures" from someone.

But to address the question that B@L posed, there are a few reasons women like to receive jewelry. First, in general, women express their feelings more often and openly than men do. We are the more affectionate gender.* So, while we may know that you love us, sometimes we like something more physical to show that love. Hence the whole "jewelry/flowers" thing. Most of us are not very subtle about our feelings for a man, while men are a lot less expressive. That's the briefest answer.

Secondly, our love of pretty things is ingrained in us from childhood. Look at the difference in children's clothing- boy's clothing is more functional, while girl's clothing is meant to be cute. Take skirts- there is absolutely nothing functional about skirts, except that they are less constricting and a lot cooler than pants in warm weather. And how many little girls are walking around with purses? Do they need them? Are they carrying wallets and car keys in them? No. They carry them because they are cute. And even as adults- we women wear some of the most uncomfortable garments you can imagine (pantyhose, anyone?), while men's clothing is about 200 times more comfortable- and functional. I wear skirts- a lot. Which means that (at work) I have to wear pantyhose (specifically thigh-highs). Not very comfortable, but definitely more flattering than pants. And women's shoes? I just bought a pair (which are my new favorites) of black, pointed-toe, 3" stillettos. Should I be wearing something more practical (especially given the size of the hotel I work in), like flats? Absolutely. But I won't, because these are pretty, and well, very sexy. Look back in time, as well.... even before electricity, women were working outside in dresses. Women also wore corsets. Neither of which were practical. But we like pretty things.

So yes, jewelry is not practical, and when you think about it, paying big bucks for a piece of rock isn't practical, but that's just what we've been taught to like (and appreciate).

And guys, with the holiday season approaching, here's a little advice for you- please, please, please don't get the woman in your life a kitchen appliance- while she may need a new blender, it's not a good present. Or, if you do, please get her something nice to go with it- like this. Rule of thumb- the less practical and the more pretty, the better the gift.

*these are vast generalizations, and in no way reflect all women or all men.

edit- I am not saying that anyone should spend 3 grand on a necklace, and I'm not sure I would want something that expensive. I just used that necklace as an example and didn't even look at the price.

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Wow, are we stupid

I fully believe that you should have to pass an IQ test before being allowed to breed:

"4.4 million Polly Pocket toys recalled after kids swallow magnets
Associated Press Posted November 21 2006, 5:08 PM EST

WASHINGTON -- Mattel Inc. is recalling 4.4 million Polly Pocket magnetic play sets after three children were hospitalized with serious injuries from swallowing tiny magnets that fell off the toys, the Consumer Product Safety Commission announced Tuesday. As the holiday gift-buying season approaches, the commission is urging shoppers to avoid buying toy sets with small magnets for children under age 6. Gift buyers also should check the toy labels, select age-appropriate toys and avoid gifts with sharp edges and small parts.
In 2005, there were 20 toy-related deaths and 152,400 toy-related injuries involving children under age 15. The majority of injuries were sustained from riding toys."

It never ceases to amaze me how idiotic Americans are. You give your small child a very small toy, with very small parts, then let them play with it unsupervised, and then feel justified in complaining (and possibly suing) the company because your child did what kids do and put that very small toy in his mouth and choked on it? Seriously; does everyone lose any shread of common sense the second they procreate? The company should not have to recall the toys- you should have your children taken away, since obviously you don't know how to care for them (or don't want to).

On another note- Happy Turkey Day, everyone! And, please parents, keep any turkey bones (or anything else your kid may choke on) out of their reach.

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Great Weekend

When you drink an entire bottle of champagne (yourself) before 11:00 am (I know, I'm a priss, but I'm allergic to beer (gluten), and I figured liquor would be a little tough at 8:00 in the morning).

When you really know how to tailgate: (we had a tent, a grill, some yummy breakfast, space heaters, and a paper football table) (my little cousin and his friends really know what they're doing)

When you end up having rock star seats- end zone, 11th row- and are close enough to see the blades of grass:

When the stadium is packed with about 109,000 fans, screaming "We are," "Penn State" simultaneously:

When you literally have to keep your friend from throwing her cell phone at the opponent team's creepy mascot (we were right next to the Michigan State section).

When your team's cheerleaders out-number the other team's by 48 to 6.

When your team wins, despite the lack of a good offensive line (we really need a new QB)

When you still have almost no voice and a wind-burnt face two days later.

Yeah, it was a great weekend. And congrats to Ohio State as well.

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I bleed blue & white

Guess where I'll be this weekend:
And it looks as if JoePa may actually be able to coach this game. Last week was the first time since 1977 that he missed a game, and only the second game in his 41 years as head coach (the other time was when his son was in an accident). Now that's a REAL coach. I was pleasantly surprised last weekend when one of my sorority sisters called and invited me. We'll be staying in Altoona (since getting a hotel room in State College on a game weekend for under $400/night is damn near impossible), and plan on tailgating at around 8:30 tomorrow morning (yeah, we're crazy like that). Should be pretty fun. And I'm going to love seeing my team beat the crap out of MiniJonB's Spartans.

I joined in the fun at Sour N Sweet and created my own South Park character. I think it's pretty accurate:

I also created one for George Cloony (hope he doesn't mind me posting it):

Anyways, hope y'all have a great weekend! See you next week!

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Shame on you

First, if you haven't already, read this. I am sad to say that I am very disappointed in my favorite blogger. While, I am not easily offended, that post truly pissed me off. Saying that any woman over a size 8 is not attractive is the kind of thing that encourages eating disorders, especially saying something like:

"A celebrity example of someone "too fat" to be attractive: Dr. Torres (Sara Ramirez) on Gray's Anatomy. Too fucking fat for me."

Sara Ramirez is a healthy example for young women, especially women who were not born with a small frame. Some women are just bigger. It's nice to see a woman on tv who isn't grotesquely thin. Not everyone is meant to be a size 2, and those of us who aren't petite can nearly kill themselves trying to be. Literally. I was a size 2 at one point, and because of that, I now have heart problems and am missing a portion of my stomach lining. Yeah, but it's so much more important to be thin- then maybe I can find a man who is only interested in my body, and doesn't give a damn about the real me. Luckily, I'm more grounded in reality, and, even though I need to lose some weight, I am a lot more comfortable in my own skin than I was when I was thin- and have met someone who actually looks beyond the superficial. While I may not have the body I wish I did, I don't consider myself "fat." I am large- and most of my size is muscle. Despite my size, I have a surprisingly low body fat ratio.

While everyone has their preferences when it comes to attraction, any man who would prefer a vapid, shallow and self-absorbed woman who resembles a 12 year-old boy to a size 10 woman who is intelligent, funny, and caring needs to take a look inside at his own insecurities (note- I'm not necessarily talking about the author of the afore-mentioned post, just men in general). Yes, we all are attracted to certain things, but to completely discount dating a women based souly on the fact that her ribs don't show and her breastbone isn't protruding from her chest? Come on, you have to be more intelligent than that.

And men who only date freakishly thin girls are always bitching about how all of the women they date are physcho bitches. Well, not eating (or vomiting everything you eat) tends to make you extremely irritable. Take my cousin (the former fitness model)- she has dealt with the pressure to be thin for years now. She is 5'10, and when she was modeling, was a healthy (and very muscular) size 6. But she wasn't thin enough. So she stopped eating. Then, started throwing up. Now she's a coke head- she's now a size 0 and weighs MAYBE 100 pounds. She can no longer model. She looks like a skeleton. And old. It's sad- she used to be pretty and healthy. She also had a personality. Now she is a psychotic, self-absorbed, high-maintenance drama queen. One example- this summer I was at a bar in Solomons Island with her, her boyfriend, and his friend (who he hadn't seen in a long time). The guys were talking, and she turns to me and says "(boyfriend) isn't paying attention to me. Should I make a big deal out of this?" My answer? A very big "NO!" She and her boyfriend live together and work together. He hasn't seen this friend in months. And he's supposed to be focused on her??? Come on. Give the guy some freaking space. Well, she didn't listen and made a scene. It blew up, and (needless to say) boyfriend wouldn't speak to her. The next day, she faked a migraine to get sympathy from him. Honestly, I don't know how a man can live with that kind of bullshit. That's what you can expect from the grotesquely-thin women. enjoy.

Women come in all shapes and sizes, and most are beautiful in some way. Maybe more men should look for that beauty in something other than toothpick thighs.

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And I thought I was unique

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 13 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Would you believe that 1 of those people who stole my name actually lives in this area and is close to the same age? yeah, wierd.

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Notes

I know, I've been slacking on the blog lately. Things have been crazy. Busy at work, fighting the flu, and spending time with someone special have consumed all of my time.

New friend took me to Cirque du Soleil Wednesday night, which was awesome. If you haven't seen one of their shows, I highly recommend it. Amazing.

I wasn't feeling great, and had to take Thursday and Friday off from work. Luckily, I had someone to take care of me :-).

Friday night I dragged my flu-ridden ass to Happy Hour. Yes, I was sick, but how often is your favorite blogger, White Dade, in town? And yes, ladies, he really is a cutie. My favorite line of the night- a certain female blogger put it best when she said, "Who is that guy in the grey shirt? Oooohhhh...he's pretty." Also in attendance: Virgle Kent, the beautiful Velvet in Dupont, I-66 (what a sweety), Allan (my favorite wine guy), HomeImprovementNinja, Joe Logon, Ar-Jew-Tino, birthday girl HeyPretty, EJTakesLife, Throwing Hammers, Red, Irish Red (who's link is not working), VPofDior (looking fabulous, as usual), commenter extraordinaire- who wrote the sweetest things about me- David in DC; and one of my favorite new people- seriously, this girl is the sweetest, most adorably bubbly and refreshing person I have met in a long time- The View from Dupont. And, of course, my new friend came as well.

So who is this new friend? Hmmm.... Well, I'm not giving many details (since I tend to jinx things when I talk about them), but he is a sweetheart and I love spending time with him. That's all you get right now. But, since everyone needs a blog nickname, allan (who met him Friday) is insisting that I should refer to him as George Clooney, since he does have some Clooney-esque qualities.

Then, Saturday, we went to see Borat. Holy effing shit. SO funny. I literally laughed so hard my stomach hurt. Really- go see it.

That's it for now.

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Hump Day Hottie

I'm going to borrow from Rachel here*, who posts weekly "hump day hottie." My hottie this week is a duo- the new Governor and Lieutenant Governor of Maryland: Martin O'Malley and Anthony Brown. These two make politics much more interesting, and have made yours truly pay a lot more attention to Maryland's races (which, normally I wouldn't really care about). What can I say, I'm a sucker for a good-looking political type, and I've got a crush on O'Malley- he's bringing sexy back to politics.

*Rachel actually writes a well, thought-out bio about each hottie. I'm too lazy for that today. A long night of watching the polls and rubbing elbows with political types has me pretty worn out. The highlight of the evening- I got to chat with Governor Tim Kaine and met Mark Warner (the former Governor of VA). Exciting evening.

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I'm jumping on the bandwagon....

...and encouraging everyone to get out and vote (democrat). It doesn't matter who you vote for (democrat), just as long as you do it. And, since my friend Carl Spackler posted a quote by a republican, I will as well. From Urban Dictionary, today's word of the day:

November 07, 2006: Macacahttp://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Macaca&defid=1917720

A racial slur used by Senator George Allen, which literally means "monkey." Recently used by the Senator while campaigning in [Virginia].While campaigning, Senator George Allen made the following remark about one of his constituents -- an Indian American [UVA] student who was born and raised in Virginia, who was filming the event: "This fellow here over here with the yellow shirt, Macaca, or whatever his name is. He's with my opponent... Lets give a welcome to Macaca, here. Welcome to [America] and the real world of Virginia."

And, on that note, my hotel is hosting the election party for Jim Webb (George Allan's competition), which hopefully will be a victory party. We are supposed to have a very special guest (sorry, no hints), so I have volunteered to stay late and help in the lobby, hoping that maybe, just maybe I'll get to meet this special guest.

And speaking of guests, one very thoughtful guest gave me a present today- some Philosophy products. I had helped her out with some reservations, up-graded her room to a suite, and basically made sure everything was set for her. I mention this, because since our reservations supervisor is out on maternity, I have been taking over those responsibilities (basically doing two very demanding jobs), and this is the first time a guest has thanked me for going out of my way to help them. I make these kind of arrangements all of the time, yet not very many people seem to appreciate it. The fact that she was so appreciative really put a smile on my face. Just think of that next time someone really puts in the effort to help you- a small sign of appreciation will probably make their day.

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Stripped

A new (and potentially good) friend and I have been talking a lot about our insecurities lately. He commended me for putting it all out on this blog. But I really haven't, at least not all at once, for fear of being called a "trainwreck." I am a very insecure person, and while my skin has gotten much thicker, I still care about what people think of me. But, I'm hoping that putting it all out there will help me get over some of it. So here goes. And I'm sure most of you won't comment, since this kind of thing makes a lot of people uncomfortable.

I have ADD, OCD, and Acute Social Anxiety. I have panic attacks. I am an emotional masochist. I date people who I know will hurt me. I sabotage any chance that I may have of happiness. When I start to care about someone, I do things to push them away. I don't think that I deserve to be happy. I even push friends away. It's just easier than letting them get close enough to hurt me. At the same time, I am extremely loyal to my friends. I may pick on them, but it's out of love, and if someone else picks on them or tries to hurt them, I come out swinging. I am not comfortable in my own skin. I'm afraid of being happy, because I worry that everything will come crashing down around me. I am never comfortable, in any situation, with anyone, ever. Despite the ADD, I can be extremely focused. But I snap if someone does something to break that focus. I am meticulous with work. I will work 24/7 until something is finished. I hate being wrong. I don't take criticism well. My feelings get hurt very easily. It takes very little to make me cry. But I hate crying in front of people. I am never the life of the party, or the outspoken one. I don't speak up- not in meetings, not ever. I don't defend myself or speak up when someone hurts me. I hate confrontation. I am extremely intelligent, but have no confidence in that intelligence. I am extremely sexual- and very open about it. But I am not a slut.

There you have it. Me- stripped. So go ahead and criticize- do your worst.

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Oh No You Didn't....

Ok, so I wasn't going to touch all of this drama, but I can't help it any more. You mess with my friends, you mess with me. It seems a certain no-talent douche has been criticizing other bloggers like crazy this week. Now, every once in a while the guy brings someone up and bashes on them, but it's gone too far now. Some of you guys may remember him as the asshat who basically called me a snarky bitch when I praised Kathryn's representation of DC bloggers on NBC4. This is also the same guy who kisses everyone's asses at happy hours, and begs them to blogroll him (I'm guessing the guy is desperate for traffic). He also has tried (unsuccessfully) to start a few blogwars, namely between KAC and Jessica Cutler, all the while constantly kissing KAC's ass.

Lately, he has been criticizing the likes of Kathryn, DCB, Wonkette (he's just bitter because they never link to him), FishbowlDC, DCist, KassyK, and Velvet to name a few. Basically, all of the bloggers he's so desperate to be friends with. After reading the anon comments (most likely written by him to make it appear that he actually has traffic on his pathetic trainwreck) on his most recent dig, I was thoroughly disgusted. It's one thing to get into a debate with a blogger because you don't agree with their opinions. It's another to stoop so low as to criticize their appearance, especially in such a crude, disgusting way. I'm not even going to link to it, though, because I don't want that shit getting any attention and I sure as hell don't want to give that tool any traffic.

And now he is calling them the Plastics and cliquey. Well, let me tell you something, BHR- I have only been to two blogger happy hours, mostly because of my shyness. I was terrified to go to one because I have never fit in..... I have never been part of the "popular" crowd. I'm too shy and quiet. But I finally went to one- alone. I walked into Gazuza and headed straight for the bar for some liquid courage. Then, I spotted Kathryn, DCB, V, and DC Cookie near the back of the bar. I summoned the courage and walked up to them. Well, to my surprise, Kathryn recognized me right away and was so incredibly nice. She introduced me to everyone, and everyone was friendly and welcoming. Then I found Kassy. We had been chatting, and I had some idea of how nice she was, but even that paled in comparison to the real Kassy. She is possibly one of the sweetest people I've ever met. And genuine. I also met Velvet, who is now a very good friend.

These people seem cliquey to you, BHR? Maybe you should think about why they don't want you in their blog rolls. Or, why Wonkette won't link to you. Maybe it's because you don't write anything original or personal. You just spew boring blogger news and try to start shit with people. And no one wants to be around that kind of person. And from the perspective of someone who has never been part of the popular crowd? These people are some of the nicest, most welcoming and encouraging people I have ever met. So back off and get a life. Oh, and stop hitting on Virgle Kent. He's never going to sleep with you.

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Limp

Warning: this will perhaps be the most vapid, shallow thing I've ever posted. While it's (for the most part- except for the "only expensive, designer products part) true, it's meant to be a parody*- an inside joke between myself and Velvet. Those of you she knows and trusts enough to have the password to her posts will probably know what (or who) it's a parody of. For the rest of you, I'm sorry, but tomorrow I will post something (a little) less idiotic.

My hair is so limp and yucky today. I have mentioned before how much I love Korre's Natural Products, and their Silk Milk conditioner is great. However, it contains rosemary oil, which is great, but you can't leave it on your hair for too long. I made that mistake last night in the shower. I have fine hair (luckily, there's a lot of it, so it isn't thin and stringy), so I have to basically put this conditioner on then rinse right away. Last night I forgot and started my "dolphin effect" maintenance. Ick. My hair is so oily and limp today. It's a ponytail day. I need to change conditioners, but I only use expensive, designer products, so I need to find another, more expensive conditioner.**

Ok, I hope that wasn't as painful to read as it was to type.

*I know, I am being immature, but my good friend Velvet could use a good laugh, so what are friends for?
**maybe one with a Coach logo all over it...(oops, did I say that?)

Note: Sorry this looks so jacked up....for some reason Blogger isn't publishing line breaks, so everything is one, long run-on paragraph. bastards. I swear I'm thisclose to making the switch to wordpress.

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Literary Meme

I was tagged by minijonb with a literary meme. While I don't read a lot of actual "literature," I do read a lot. So forgive me if this isn't quite as intellectual as everyone else's, but that's just how I roll :-)

1) One book that changed your life: Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser
2) One book that you'd read more than once: Pride & Predjudice by Jane Austen
3) One book you'd want on a deserted island: War & Peace by Leo Tolstoy ~ I figure that if I can’t read it then I won’t ever be able to read it. Could also be decent for kindling. (I am keeping Rachel's answer on this, since it's exactly what I would have said).
4) One book that made you laugh: Bridget Jones' Diary by Helen Fielding
5) One book that made you cry: Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
6) One book you wish you'd written: Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden (seriously a great book)
7) One book you wish had never been written: The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider (I hate games).
8) One book you're currently reading: The Wonder Spot by Melissa Bank
9) One book you've been meaning to read: Mr. Darcy Takes a Wife by Linda Berdoll (Circle V recommended it some time ago- it's the continuation of my favorite book, Pride & Predjuduce).

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We Are......

...Penn State.

Even though we aren't having the best season, I just have to say that this weekend's game was great. And this pic (borrowed from the Brewer Patriot) pretty much rocks.
Yep, I count 4 Purdue players trying to take him down. Right on.

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Halloween Costume Ideas

I got these from Funny Co-Worker, in case you guys are still stumped on what to be for Halloween. Enjoy!

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Yay

Thanks for the shout-out, Wonkette!!!

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Counting

I know I've mentioned my OCD before, but everyone always assumes it's like Monk, and I have to wipe every surface 37 times or something similar. While I do have some of these ritualistic tendencies, mine is a little different. I'm obsessed with numbers. This usually doesn't interrupt my somewhat-normal life, but there are times when it becomes down-right dangerous. Which is where it's heading right now.

Some background- I was annorexic in high school (see picture below). And took laxatives as well. I got disgustingly thin (for someone with my build), and have since destroyed most of the pictures from that time. The one below is one of the only remaining pictures, and it had only survived because I wasn't at my worst in that picture- I lost almost another 20 pounds after that was taken. And still thought I was fat.

Why do I bring this up? Not because I am starving myself (yet), but I feel it could easily go that way. For people like myself, who have suffered from eating disorders and are obsessed with numbers, it's a slippery slope. In the 5 plus years I have lived in Virginia, I have gone up about 3 dress sizes. I stopped thinking about calories and had no idea how many I was consuming. And now I am not comfortable with my body. Trouble.

I have mentioned my love of Chipotle before, and had no idea how many calories are in just one item. I love the Steak Soft Tacos, but yesterday, when I was craving them, I actually looked at the calorie content- almost 1200 calories! The tortilla shells alone (small flour) have over 100 calories each. So if just the shells have that many calories, how many calories are in other things? This led to me counting the calories in everything I eat. Which basically led to yours truly spending an hour on the elliptical and not eating dinner last night. Now, thinking about how the food in our employee cafeteria is prepared, and how many possible calories I'm consuming at lunch, is making me opt for a plate of lettuce with vinegar as dressing.

So you can see how dangerous this is for someone like me. The question is how do I still eat healthy without becoming so completely obsessed with what I'm eating that I end up skipping meals? I don't think anyone who doesn't suffer from OCD can really understand- the common answer is "well, don't go over-board," or "everything in moderation," which are things that I would love to be able top do, but when you have OCD, that "helpful" advise is pretty much worthless. And I certainly don't want to end up like this again:

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There are valuable lessons everywhere.....

So normally I don't really do the whole movie review thing, but I saw a movie over the weekend that really struck a chord. No, it wasn't in the theaters, since I almost never go to the movies anymore (ADD). It actually just came out on dvd, and is definitely worth seeing. I was actually shocked about how many of my coworkers hadn't even heard of it- I know all of you have.
Anyways, "Thank You For Smoking" is probably one of the best movies I've seen all year. The character development (with the exception of Katie Holmes- she was terrible) and plot were great, and the writers/producers were successful at developing a character who, while you are disgusted at what he does, you can't help but love. It's a movie I could watch over and over again.
It's also somewhat inspiring. The main character, Nick Naylor, is the most hated man in the country- a lobbyist for big tobacco. Yet he is able to win anyone over, including a 15 year-old with cancer, just by his words. To someone who often stumbles through speeches and never argues; not because I don't believe in my point of view, but because I am horrible at convincing others of my point; this guy is a hero. He even manages to be a great role-model to his son by teaching him to debate, and to always question authority.
The movie definitely teaches you how to win an argument- basically, you never have to prove your point, as long as you can disprove the other person's point. The best line in the movie (and something I am going to try to remember): "That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong." There are so many memorable (and hilarious) lines in this movie, that even my mom (who is VERY anti-smoking) even loved it. Take, for instance:
Kid #3: My Mommy says smoking kills.
Nick Naylor: Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?
Kid #3: No.
Nick Naylor: A scientific researcher of some kind?
Kid #3: No.
Nick Naylor: Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?

Anyways, I highly recommend this movie, and will probably run out and buy it this weekend.

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A Meme....I know, I'm sorry

I hate these things, but I'm uncontrollably drawn to them.

So, the idea behind this meme is that you bold every one of these things that you've done and leave the rest in standard typeface. So, here we go!
01. bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. swam with wild dolphins
03. climbed a mountain
04. taken a ferrari for a test drive
05. been inside the great pyramid
06. held a tarantula - In an effort to try to get over a fear
07. taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. said "i love you" and meant it
09. hugged a tree
10. bungee jumped
11. visited paris
12. watched a lightning storm at sea
13. stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. seen the northern lights
15. gone to a huge sports game
16. walked the stairs to the top of the leaning tower of pisa
17. grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. touched an iceberg
19. slept under the stars
20. changed a baby's diaper
21. taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. watched a meteor shower
23. gotten drunk on champagne - who hasn't??
24. given more than you can afford to charity
25. looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. had a food fight
28. bet on a winning horse
29. asked out a stranger
30. had a snowball fight
31. screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. held a lamb
33. seen a total eclipse
34. ridden a roller coaster
35. hit a home run
36. danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. adopted an accent for an entire day
38. actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. had two hard drives for your computer
40. visited all 50 states
41. taken care of someone who was drunk
42. had amazing friends
43. danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. watched whales
45. stolen a sign
46. backpacked in europe
47. taken a road-trip
48. gone rock climbing
49. midnight walk on the beach
50. gone sky diving
51. visited ireland
52. been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love- hello.....Mark
53. in a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. visited japan
55. milked a cow
56. alphabetized your cds - I have OCD, what do you think???
57. pretended to be a superhero
58. sung karaoke
59. lounged around in bed all day
60. played touch football
61. gone scuba diving
62. kissed in the rain
63. played in the mud
64. played in the rain
65. gone to a drive-in theater
66. visited the great wall of china
67. started a business
68. fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. toured ancient sites
70. taken a martial arts class
71. played d&d for more than 6 hours straight
72. gotten married
73. been in a movie
74. crashed a party
75. gotten divorced
76. gone without food for 5 days - used to be annorexic
77. made cookies from scratch
78. won first prize in a costume contest
79. ridden a gondola in venice - does the Venetian in Vegas count?
80. gotten a tattoo - 3 so far
81. rafted the snake river
82. been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. gotten flowers for no reason
84. performed on stage
85. been to las vegas
86. recorded music
87. eaten shark
88. kissed on the first date
89. gone to thailand
90. bought a house
91. been in a combat zone
92. buried one/both of your parents
93. been on a cruise ship
94. spoken more than one language fluently
95. performed in rocky horror
96. raised children
97. followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. passed out cold
99. taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country- I grew up in a foreign country
100. picked up and moved to another city to just start over- it's how I ended up in VA
101. walked the golden gate bridge
102. sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. had plastic surgery
104. survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived- still haunted by it
105. wrote articles for a large publication
106. lost over 100 pounds
107. held someone while they were having a flashback
108. piloted an airplane
109. touched a stingray
110. broken someone's heart
111. helped an animal give birth
112. won money on a t.v. game show
113. broken a bone
114. gone on an african photo safari
115. had a facial part pierced other than your ears - Tongue
116. fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol - Not at anyone, I know what yall are thinkin
117. eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wildside - if this means 'shrooms, then yes
notewhere is 118?
119. had major surgery
120. had a snake as a pet
121. hiked to the bottom of the grand canyon
122. slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours - Flu
123. visited more foreign countries than u.s. states
124. visited all 7 continents
125. taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. eaten kangaroo meat
127. eaten sushi - All the time
128. had your picture in the newspaper -
129. changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. gone back to school
131. parasailed
132. touched a cockroach
133. eaten fried green tomatoes
134. read The iliad
135. selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. killed and prepared an animal for eating - Fish counts right?
137. skipped all your school reunions
138. communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. been elected to public office
140. written your own computer language
141. thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. built your own PC from parts
144. sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. had a booth at a street fair
146. dyed your hair - I dont even know what the original color was
147. been a dj- not "officially," but I've been known to take over the music selection
148. shaved your head
149. caused a car accident
150. saved someone's life- was a lifeguard in hs

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Are People Really this Dumb?

So roommate, her friend, and I found a townhouse that we love love love (to rent). Our lease is up November 30, and we really don't want to stay in the tiny little apartment we're in right now, especially when we can rent a townhouse for about the same amount of money. The only catch is that the place we found (and adore) is huge, and the rent is a little higher than we are willing to pay. The solution- rent out the basement to a 4th person (trust me, this place could comfortably fit 6, so 4 is not a big deal). So I posted an ad on Craigslist to find that 4th person. We have a few good candidates, but what I've noticed more than anything is the number of scam emails I get. Last year when we were looking for a roommate, I remember only getting one or two of them. In the three times that I've placed the ad, I've gotten easily 30 scams- some of them with the exact same message. It's really getting annoying. Some examples:

Jane Mark
HelloHow are you doing,I went through your advert on craigslist and I have developed a profound interested in your room,I will be moving to state soon and am hoping to be there for my educational leave and also looking forward to have my Master degree in a good university around.So am looking to spend almost 12 month in your state.....please i'll like to know the total move in cost of the room and the breakdown details of the house and the utilities as well as the picture of the house if available,as i'll not be able to check out the place until my arrival,Aarrangement can be made for payment prior to my arrival since i'll be moving down from Uk as soon as i'm able to reach an accord with you......Method of payment???Here is a little info about myself...... I am Jane Mark,26 years old female. work with a ACTEXO TEXTILES LIMITED in UK Regional office,gentle easy going i dont smoke but sport lover and outgoing person, am 5.4fit plus tall. Moreso i do want to know from others and know seek others people opinion and respect others choices as long as they do not harm others and generally am very happy. I am very outgoing and enjoy meeting others. I do not smoke. I am very interested in other cultures and find each and every person interesting to me and like hearing what they have to say on matters. Well, I guess that is about me for now.I'll expecting your email as soon as possible..pls kindly reply me your email to my privat email box Await your kind response .Talk to you later .Jane

Lauren Greg

Oct 19 (1 day ago)
How are u doing? I saw ur advert pls u will have tomail with the details of the room to includes rents and utilities.But let mejust give some hints about myself. My name is Lauren Greg 26, Female,Straight a christian born in USA and am a model but I am presently in africaon a modelling contract and i will be back to the state this october.I would like to move inthis month.I would like to rent for a long term period.I really need a placeto put my head when i get to the state.I am a very happy, independent,educated, reliable person that get along with pretty much anyone,very niceand loving person,fun to be with.i dont keep late nite.most importantly I amrespectful of other\'s privacy,time,and personal items.Do you accept a(CASHIER CHECK/INT\' MONEY ORDER) as a mode of payment.. Please let me know yourmind on this.I will like to know more about you This is very important Regards"

Or, my favorite, the down-right rude emails:
Hi
I came accross the posted house for rent.i ll like to know if its still available email me again with the below details so we can proceed and have some things done concerning the Rent.

Kindly email me with
1} RENT FEE.MONTHLY 2} MOVE-IN DEPOSIT 3} ADDRESS OF THE PLACE FOR RENT 4) WILL YOU TAKE A CASHIERS CHEQUE/MONEY ORDER FOR MOVE-IN DEPOSIT 5} HOW LONG RENT LEASE DO YOU REQUIRE ( 6/12 MONTHS ) 6) DO YOU HAVE PICTURES ? SEND THEM
I will be expecting to read answers to the above questions asap my email adderess is; mareenfbd323@yahoo.com Regards.
Maureen.

I personally love when people who want to be my roommate send demanding emails- "Do you have pictures? Send them." and "I will be expecting to read answers to the above questions asap." Well, then I guess you will be disappointed, since I am not sending you shit.

I had finally had enough the other night, and decided to start replying to them. My email:

"question- does anyone actually fall for this scam??! I've received about 20 different emails that all say exactly the same thing, all from different senders. If you people want to steal money from people, you're going to need to get more creative, especially when you just relpied to all 3 of the ads I had listed at the exact same time with the exact same (horrible) wording. Stop trying to rip people off- we Americans are not quite that stupid."

There was one of those responses that I got that had sent the exact same email to all three of my email addresses (I have the place listed 3 times, each with a different email address), so I made damn sure I responded to that person all three times (from the different email addresses) with the exact same response.

I haven't heard back from any of them yet, and I'm sure I won't, and they won't stop trying to pull this scam, but damn it felt good.

So here's the question- are we really that stupid that, after hearing about these scams all over the place, and considering Craigslist warns you about scams, we would actually fall for this?

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I shouldn't do this when I'm high on painkillers....

...but I will anyways. Please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors, but codeine makes me loopy. Why am I high right now? Funny story (not really).

Let me first start by telling you that Celiac Disease weakens tooth enamel, which explains why I have always had issues with my teeth. In 7th grade I had a minor accident and lost part of one of my front teeth. So I've had a crown, secured with a long pin, on that tooth since then. Well, Friday night, about 30 minutes before I was to leave for Happy Hour, that pin finally gave out, taking half the tooth with it- in other words, both the crown and the tooth split down the middle and broke off, so I only had half a front tooth. Well, obviously, I started freaking out, crying, etc. Needless to say, I'm not good in a crisis. Luckily, Roommate is. Her mom has a crown on the same tooth that always comes off, so she called her mom to find out what she does for it. Y'all will never believe what she uses- Crazy Glue. So, being the resourceful girl she is, Roommate had some on hand. So, I Super-Glued the crown back on. And, well, since no one noticed at happy hour (or since then), it obviously worked.

I was nervous that the glue wouldn't hold out for very long, so I made an appointment with my dentist. I went in this morning and told the dentist what happened, and that I couldn't afford to get a new crown right now, but wanted a temporary fix. His response- "I can't tell you to use the Super Glue, but honestly, it works much better than dental glue, which is what I would use right now to fix it. So I would leave it alone." He checked it (pushed on both sides) and told me "wow, you did a better job than most dentists. It's really on there."

I did, however need other work, and since I was already there, and off work, I told him to break it down for me. Eek. All I can say is that I went into the wrong profession. I need about $7,000 worth of work, $2,200 after insurance. Because of the Celiac, I get cavities very easily. And this is embarrassing to say, but I need a total of 8 fillings and 3 crowns (including the Super-Glued tooth), and a root canal.

I went ahead with the root canal today, which is the second one I've had. The first one was painless and quick, so I wasn't nervous. In fact, I have always thought, "why do people always associate a lot of pain with a root canal? They aren't that bad." Well, turns out this one was a LOT more invasive than that first one. It took almost 3 hours, 4 shots of novacaine, and 6 x-rays. Towards the end, I wasn't numb anymore, and could feel everything. This was one of the most painful things I've been through. I felt the file in my sinus. The doc gave me some Tylenol 3, but my mouth is still throbbing. The codeine part has kicked in, but the Tylenol part has only dulled the pain. I'm loopy and "foggy," but still hurting.

My fear of dentists still stands.

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Old Friends, New Friends

So last night I dragged my roommate to Happy Hour at The Big Hunt- it was I-66's turn as the new co-social chair (Sweet unfortunately was unable to attend). And let me just say, I-66 did a great job as host...and those were some very big shoes to fill.* And I think his predecessor would be very proud. And, for those who participate in I-66 points, I got a sweet (and much-needed) prize for winning- an iTunes certificate...thanks, I-66.

Quite a few people came out for I-66's debut, and it was great seeing people I already knew, and meeting some great new people. Of course, two of my favorite people were there- KassyK and Velvet...both looking fabulous, as usual. I finally got to meet one of my favorite bloggers, Bad at Life....just wish I'd gotten to chat with him more. Also in attendance: Virgle Kent (who smelled delicious, by the way), Circle V, Red, Irish Red, Brunch Bird (was great finally meeting her as well), Home Improvement Ninja, Law-Rah, JoeLogan, DC Sports Chick, E, VP of Dior, Heather B, and damn...I know I'm forgetting quite a few people, but I didn't stay very long (could tell roommate was getting bored). So if I forgot you, please let me know...and I'm sorry.

*Before BHR accuses me of being snarky again, let me just say it slowly- I mean "big shoes" figuratively, not literally.

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hmmm

Do you guys think that the fact that I co-worker is an ignorant, annoying bitch with a princess complex would stand up in court as the reason I strangled her?




because I'll do it....seriously.

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Fake It 'Til You Make It

I've always believed that you can convince yourself of anything. Want to be a workout junkie but hate actually working out? Just lie to yourself (and everyone around you- it's the only way this works) and say "Oh, I love working out." Eventually, you will believe it. Trying to get over someone you are still head-over-heels in love with? Keep telling yourself that you are over them- eventually you will be. Or will you?

I've been using this tactic for quite a while now, and while it may be healthy in some cases (like working out), I can't help but think that I may be doing myself a disservice by repressing certain things. I finally got over Mark (sorta- I think) by continuously saying things like "I'm over him," or "I don't care anymore" to everyone I know (and on this blog). But is it really true or have I just pushed those feelings to the darkest corners of my brain, like I do with everything else I don't want to think about (bills, my not-so-great credit score, etc).

I know that repression can lead to major problems later, and it's much healthier to confront your feelings, but I am completely non-confrontational- in every aspect of my life, so I prefer to ignore the things that I don't want to face.

But I'm getting off topic here. My point was basically this- can you convince yourself of pretty much anything and change any negative behavior? I'm going to try to act like a confident person, rather than the painfully shy, self-conscious person that I really am, and see if it does anything to change my level of confidence. Basically, I am going to put "Fake it 'til you make it," to the test and see if it actually works.

Anyone want to try this experiment with me? (doesn't have to be confidence, just any behavior you want to change). I'm curious to see if it really works, so the more participants, the better.

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Blue Monday

Yours truly is feeling pretty down today. My mom was here this weekend, and we had a great time, but I always get a little sad when she leaves (or when I leave her house). But that's only one part of my blue Monday.

Someone said (texted) something to me this weekend that I'm completely confused about. I'm torn about whether to let it get to me. What they said was just one word, "don't," but considering what I had sent them, it's completely perplexing and really hurt my feelings. My mom, ever the optimist, tried to come up with some less-scathing explanation as to what it meant, but my roommate (who's as jaded as I am) agreed with me- that she would be upset if she were in my position. So, being the OCD- mess that I am, needless to say, it's been bugging me since Saturday night. It would be one thing if I didn't like/care about the person, but I do. Just wish I knew what he meant.

I realize this is cryptic, but it's meant to be. I don't know any other way to put it without putting the person it's in reference to on the spot. But hopefully that person will read and offer some logical (and not hurtful) explanation. Or, maybe I just need to develop thicker skin and not let things bother me.

**Edit: And to top things off, I found out this weekend that my Great-Great Aunt, Aunt Mac- the cornerstone of the family, the person who sent gifts for every birthday, graduation, wedding, etc- passed away last week. She had just turned 100 in July- and was still just as sharp as when she was young. Rest in peace, Aunt Mac.

So, for your viewing (and listening) pleasure; and since it's a blue Monday for me- another kind of Blue Monday:


Or, better yet, my favorite new(er) song; since I'm blue and it's October, Blue October:

(this song almost always makes me cry)

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Irrational Fear

All of us are afraid of something, be it heights, flying, commitment, etc. But how many of our fears are rational? What happens when you are afraid? For some of us, it's debilitating. My most debilitating is enochlophobia, or a fear of crowds...although, I'm not sure if it's an actual fear or if I am just severely uncomfortable in crowds- basically social anxiety. Either way, it is the major reason for my opting to stay in on a Saturday night, rather than going to a club with my friends...or choosing a small dive bar over some crowded, popular bar. So what happens to me? Panic attacks. I'm not sure if I could accurately describe what a panic attack is like, but my friend Alice gives a pretty good description.

Whenever someone says that they have a fear of something, the logical question is "Well, did you have a bad experience?" It would make sense, wouldn't it? But how many of us have fears that we can't explain away? I certainly have a few- like the enochlophobia. I have no explanation for that, except that it may stem from a bad E roll (that's an ecstasy high for those of you straight-laced types*) in college. I was in a crowded club, having a really bad roll. Basically, I freaked out. Come to think of it, I've pretty much avoided crowds since then.

And why are so many of us afraid of spiders? Most spiders are harmless, but a good percentage (myself included) are terrified of them. In fact, I am pretty much scared of any bug with more than 4 legs (other than catepillars). In fact, I will not go anywhere near a centipede- those things freak me out and move WAY too fast.

But perhaps my most irrational fear (and it's probably my strongest, most intense one) is clowns. Words cannot describe how afraid I am of clowns. And I honestly have no idea why. I remember my first experience with this- I was 3 and we were here in the states visiting my grandparents (I grew up in Germany). My grandparents thought it would be great to take me to the circus. I was having a great time, until the clowns came out. I still vividly remember the fear I felt. I screamed my head off, and my grandfather had to carry me out of there.

The fear that so many people have that I really don't understand is a fear of commitment. Especially considering we live in a time and a country where divorce is pretty normal,** so why has it become progressively more common to be afraid to commit? Why is it so hard for us to choose to be with one, and only one, person? Is it because there are so many choices out there? Is it the case where the more items on the menu, the harder it is to pick one? Personally, I am not afraid of commitment- in fact, when I like someone, I dive in head-first. Yes, my heart gets broken, but I would much rather feel something, anything, than to push people away.

So what are your fears? Are they rational?***


*I was never the druggie type, but I did dabble a little back in the day.
**Don't get me wrong, I am most certainly not advocating divorce, or making light of it.
*** And why have I been asking questions at the end of every post? Is it because I am to lazy to finish the post with a conclusion paragraph? perhaps...

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The Meek Shall....Well, get overlooked

I've never been a show-off. I was never the kid in class with her hand up. I was the one cowering in the back, knowing the answer, but praying the teacher wouldn't call on me. Yes, I aced all of my tests, but there were always those classes in which "participation" was part of the grade, pulling down my gpa. Instead of "A's," in those classes, I got "B+'s." All because I am (as I've mentioned before) painfully shy. I think it stems from a severe lack of confidence, but on the other hand, I have confidence in my intelligence. I know that I know what I am talking about, but there's always that paranoia that maybe, just maybe, I'm wrong...then I'll end up making a mistake. I hate making mistakes. I guess I'm a perfectionist in that sense. At work, I go over every detail meticulously. I'm not one of those people who will, when checking numbers, skip some of them, even if I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are correct.

Part of not showing off means that I am not, and have never been, an ass-kisser. I despise people who kiss ass to get ahead. I let my work speak for itself. This has worked fairly well for me thus far. My direct supervisor always knows how hard I work. They know that when they need a report, I won't stop until it's finished. In fact, this morning, I was working on month-end/quarter-end, I had to pee. I held it for about 2 hours while I finished my reports.

That being said, the merits of my work haven't been speaking to those who don't rely on me. I don't think my boss' boss (our regional...let's call him Ben, since he sounds exactly like Ben Stein- only with less emotion) thinks that I know what I'm doing. When I was helping in Alexandria last week, the other girl that is helping that hotel was there with me and on the phone with Ben. After she got off the phone, she said that Ben wanted her to take the lead there. WHAAA??? Now, I am definitely not bashing her, since she seems to know her shit as well as I do, but being that she is so much more vocal and speaks up during conference calls, everyone thinks that she is more capable of doing the job. And since I am so quiet, I come off as an idiot.

So now I have to work on my confidence. I have to figure out how to speak up, even if I'm terrified of being wrong. And, unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to kiss a little more ass.

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To Tell or Not to Tell

While I am out of town this weekend, I am going to be thinking. What is the debate that has been running through my head all week? If you'll remember my previous post, I had a pretty eventful weekend last week. So now I've been trying to figure out whether or not to tell "co-worker" about the psycho lunatic.

Some of you may say not to tell her. If she's the kind of girl that just randomly sends naked pictures of herself to a guy she barely knows, enticing him into a fuck-buddy relationship, then that's her problem. While, sometimes I may agree with you, there's one hitch- she and I are semi-friends. While I most certainly wouldn't have a slumber party and braid her hair, telling her my deepest secrets, we share common friends and I do have to work with her....plus, in some ways I like her.

There are two possible scenarios here:
1. she didn't send him pictures or tell him about all of the kinky stuff she wanted to do. He may have been lying about it, thinking it would make me jealous (silly boy, it's a little hard to make someone who's not really into you jealous). In which case, she deserves to know that he's telling some very seedy lies about her.

2. He wasn't lying, in which case she should know:
a. that he told me all about her various fetishes...lord knows I wouldn't want someone I was hooking up with telling my co-workers about mine.
b. she should know what a psycho she is hooking up with.

Another reason I am even considering telling her- I don't know what lies he told her about me. And, while I wish I didn't care what people thought about me, I do care. I don't want to be the bad guy.

So what do you guys think?

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Hypothetical Situation....Or, How to Ruin What Could Be

I went back and forth about whether or not to post this (don't want to hurt someone's feelings, yadda, yadda, yadda), but since it's just a hypothetical situation, what's the harm? And if my tires are slashed after work tomorrow, I'll know who to blame.

This is one for you guys- a little advise from a lady. Say you are interested in a woman. Say you've hung out with her once or twice- on a purely friendship basis. And say (hypothetically) she comes into the bar you work at with her co-workers pretty often for happy hour. Now, say you've made it clear to her that you think she's pretty great (you tell her she's sexy, intelligent, and funny...the whole package). Also, (hypothetically- of, course) her co-worker (whom she is friends with) basically throws herself at you, sending you naked pics and telling you that she wants a friends with benefits situation.

Now, I'm not saying not to take the co-worker up on her offer, but if you are really into girl #1, it may not be the best idea to tell her about co-worker's offer. And it may be an even worse idea to tell girl #1 that if you don't have a chance with her, you are going to have sex with co-worker. Doing this may ruin any chance that you may have possibly had with girl #1.

An even worse idea- continuously texting girl #1 (when she has told you that she has a horrible toothache, is in a lot of pain, and hasn't slept in 3 days) at 1 AM, basically begging her to stop you from going to co-worker's place for a late-night booty call, saying things like "on my way to her place. last chance to stop me," and "in her parking lot, last chance," and "at her door, last chance," and "fine. be that way." She texts back "I'm trying to fucking sleep. Do what you want." Texting back "See ya!" and "we're to the point of insults...I won't burden you any further. HAVE A GOOD LIFE!!!!" along with even more various messages, basically telling her she's a complete bitch, probably won't get you in her pants.

Here comes the advise- if you really like her to begin with- don't tell her that her co-worker (whom you claim to have no interest in) wants you, and unless girl #1 tells you to come over (after midnight, when she's in pain, and the two of you haven't even had sex- ever), you are going to go to her co-worker's to get laid. Unless girl #1 has absolutely no self-esteem, I can guarantee you won't like her answer. And if you really liked her in the first place, you wouldn't have even put her in that situation to begin with. You would have given her the space she needs after she told you that she wasn't sure whether or not she was interested in anything other than friendship with you.

And if you put her in that situation, and sent about 50 texts in the span of about 2 hours, ranging from understanding to desperate to bitter to irate, you are most certainly going to come off as a psycho-lunatic stalker.

This is, of course, a purely hypothetical situation. And if you happen to read the girl's blog, and read a hypothetical situation that sounds pretty damn familiar, then I'm sorry, but take it as a lesson learned. Psychotic behavior is psychotic behavior- no matter how nice of a guy you claim to be. Next time you'll know better. Like a girl? Don't tell her that you want to fuck her co-worker. And that hypothetical girl is probably just happy she has some more sane options in her life.

*Note- this girl is starting to realize how psycho she must have seemed when things started going really badly with Mark.....and will never again send angry text messages to a guy she really likes.

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Two Hours Of My Life....

..that I'll never get back. Yesterday morning I went to a Mary Kay "Muffins and Makeovers" thing. Normally, I would have no desire to go to some overly made-up, Nip/Tucked, rich woman's house in McLean, but this woman was relentless. She had an event at my hotel a few months ago, and as a "thank-you"* she and another overly made-up woman** showed up at our office with gift certificates. All we had to do was fill out some info and we'd get some free goodies. Fine. So I put my work number down (I rarely give out my cell number). Big mistake. I don't have caller ID at work, and have to pretty much answer every call. She called every week. I kept putting her off, saying I would be out of town, yadda yadda yadda. She kept calling. So finally on Friday when she called I told her I just bought a new car and couldn't afford to buy anything. In her fake, chipper voice she said "oh, that's fine, just come and get a makeover. Besides you have a gift certificate." Blah blah blah. So, I gave in to shut her up. Even bigger mistake. I got my lazy ass out of bed at 8 AM Saturday morning and trekked to McLean. After seeing her house, I don't feel bad about not buying anything.

She made us watch a cheesy video, showing us what a great company it is and how much money they make. Then we had to use the cleanser. I am VERY picky about what I use (philosophy and aveda only), and now I'm broken out from this stuff. The whole time, she was saying shit like "isn't this cleanser fabulous? how does your skin feel? great, right?" I wanted to tell her that no, my skin feels like shit. But I bit my tongue. Then came makeup time. I tried some of the foundation (which sucked, by the way), and put very little eye shadow on (I prefer the natural look, rather than the Tammy Fay Baker look). She kept encouraging me to put on more. Pushy, pushy, pushy. Needless to say, I had to wash my face as soon as I left there...and luckily, I brought my own foundation (Pur Minerals), so I wouldn't have to drive home looking like Ms. Baker.

Then, of course, she tried to push me to buy the "Basic" kit (cleanser, moisturizer, and foundation)...$54. Normally I don't mind spending money on good** products, but considering I had told her that I would NOT be buying anything, I was a little pissed that she was pushing it.

Then she asked us some basic questions and showed us the diamond ring and watch she got for selling a certain amount of shit, along with....yes, her pink Cadillac. She blind-sided me, and now I'm sucked into a meeting with her Tuesday afternoon, where I know she's going to try to recruit me for the Mary Kay cult.

Why am I so spineless? Why can't I say no to people?



*Note the sarcasm
**If they really want to sell this stuff, maybe they shouldn't walk around with plaster-covered faces
***NOT Mary Kay

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TV = Real Life?

Two of my favorite shows premiere tonight and it's funny how, even though they are fictional characters and a script, I can't help but notice how they mimic real life. Take the romances on Grey's Anatomy and The Office. Both shows left us with similar, love-triangle cliffhangers last season. And the cliffhanger is a decision that a lot of us have had to make (or will have to make) in our lives.

On Grey's Anatomy, Meredith has to chose between McDreamy, the man she is head-over heels for; and Finn, the sweet, thoughtful guy who will treat her like a queen. McDreamy doesn't deserve her and has only hurt her, but she's in love with him. Finn is great and worships her, but she isn't in love with him. And on the Office, Pam has to choose between Jim, who she has a great connection with and who is in love with her, and her fiance, a schmuck who barely notices her but she's in love with.

So what do these women do? Do they go with their heads and pick the guy who really deserves to be with them and will treat them great? Or do they go with their hearts and pick the guy who they're in love with, even if he doesn't deserve their love? Do you give up on true love in exchange for being treated the way you deserve to be? What would you do?

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New Car Smell

Great news!!! Yours truly just bought a new car tonight!! Yay! I don't think my old car would have made it to Alexandria tomorrow, so it was time. Lola was still really pretty, but the transmission was going- and VERY quickly. So, I found the one I wanted, had them run all of the paperwork while I was at work today, and picked up Lola II this evening. She's so pretty!!

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Laziness

I'm going to apologize ahead of time, since my posts may be a little sporadic for the next few weeks. Someone (in the position above mine) at one of our hotels in Alexandria is leaving, so I will be "taskforcing" at that hotel two days a week. So, I'm not sure whether or not I'll be able to blog. Although, given that the guy who's leaving (we'll call him Dan) is a complete idiot, I think I'll be able to manage.

Here's the basic info: I am a Systems Analyst (SRSA), and the position above me (my boss) is a Director of Revenue (DORM). Part of my job is to run some of the daily reports that the DORM needs. But she still runs a lot of her reports, since it is VERY important for her to see how much revenue we have on the books for the rest of the month, as well as for upcoming months.

So, last Wednesday, I had to go to Alexandria and spend half a day with Dan, so that I'll be able to cover the position until they hire a new DORM. So I got there around 8 AM. Dan's SRSA, "Julie" showed me to his office and pointed out a note that he had left for me. Apparently, he wasn't planning on being there until 10:30, and had some admin work he wanted me to do. Of course, I was fuming. I was there to train for his position, not to do his admin work. But, ok, whatever...I did all of the stuff he left on the list and waited for him to show up. 10:15 comes and he rolls in....apparently some friends had taken him to breakfast...awwww, isn't that sweet.*

Ashburnite: "so, (his boss) wants me to find out what you do on a daily basis."
Dan: "ok, well I take the (daily report that every DORM is supposed to do) and look at (mucho importante data)."
Ash: "oh, so you don't run the (important report) yourself?"
Dan: "No, Julie does it."
Ash: "um...ok."
Dan: "Then I look at (online report)."
Ash: "every day?"
Dan: "yes."
Ash: "umm...isn't that only a weekly report? I think they only pull our data once a week."
Dan: "Ummmmm.......so then I look at this other report....."
Ash: "I think that's a weekly report, too."
Dan: "uhhhh....so I look at it and make sure we're priced well."

At this point, he spends about 10 minutes just staring at the monitor with a blank look on his face (my boss is convinced that he was actually sleeping during that 10 minutes).

Dan: "Then if any of our rates need to be changed, I do that."
Ash: "So what do you do for the other 7 and a half hours of your day?"

I don't think he liked that question. But I don't care. This guy is getting away with doing absolutely nothing. He's having his SRSA run all of his reports, and he's taking the credit for them. And to make matters worse, he is completely arrogant and condescending.

I have a feeling I am going to have a LOT of time to kill in Alexandria.



*can't you just hear the sarcasm?

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Yeah, I suck

Looks like I won't be making it to tonight's Happy Hour. My kitty, Munchkin, spent a rough day at the vet's and has a UTI. So, since she's had such a bad day (and I'll probably be spending the entire evening trying to give her medication), I would feel like an asshole if I put her through that, then left her alone all night. Yes, I'm a crazy cat lady. But how can I not be? Look at how freaking cute she is (*I promise this will be the only time I post pictures of my cat on here...and if I start knitting sweaters for her, please call the guys in the white coats).

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A Joke Gone Too Far?

One of my favorite bloggers, Avatar, posted something yesterday that got me thinking. I'm not sure if y'all have heard about this, but it raises some interesting questions about privacy. You can find the full story here, here, here, here, here, and here. But, for the lazy readers, I'll break it down for you.

From waxy.org:

Jason Fortuny's Craigslist Experiment

On Monday, a Seattle web developer named Jason Fortuny started his own Craigslist experiment. The goal: "Posing as a submissive woman looking for an aggressive dom, how many responses can we get in 24 hours?"He took the text and photo from a sexually explicit ad (warning: not safe for work) in another area, reposted it to Craigslist Seattle, and waited for the responses to roll in. Like Simon's experiment, the response was immediate. He wrote, "178 responses, with 145 photos of men in various states of undress. Responses include full e-mail addresses (both personal and business addresses), names, and in some cases IM screen names and telephone numbers."In a staggering move, he then published every single response, unedited and uncensored, with all photos and personal information to Encyclopedia Dramatica (kinda like Wikipedia for web fads and Internet drama). Read the responses (warning: sexually explicit material).Instantly, commenters on the LiveJournal thread started identifying the men. Dissenters emailed the guys to let them know they were scammed. Several of them were married, which has led to what will likely be the first of many separations. One couple in an open marriage begged that their information be removed, as their religious family and friends weren't aware of their lifestyle. Another spotted a fellow Microsoft employee, based on their e-mail address. And it's really just the beginning, since the major search engines haven't indexed these pages yet. After that, who knows? Divorces, firings, lawsuits, and the assorted hell that come from having your personal sex life listed as the first search result for your name.Possibly the strangest thing about this sex baiting prank is that the man behind it is unabashedly open about his own identity. A graphic artist in Kirkland, Washington, Jason has repeatedly posted his contact information, including home phone, address, and photos. He's already received one threat of physical violence. Is he oblivious to the danger, or does he just not care? Since his stated interest is "pushing people's buttons," I'm guessing the latter. (See update: Jason's been removing contact information from his sites, so some of these links are now broken.)

I took a look at the Encyclopedia Dramatica post, and yes, every single email he received was posted- un-edited. Some of these men sent emails with their real names, telephone numbers, and IM screen names. Some of them even responded to the ad from their work email accounts.

Now these men are attempting to get the posts pulled. So the debate is whether or not this is a legal issue. On one hand, this "experiment" is not only cruel, but it could ruin these men's lives. On the other hand, every single one of these men volunteered that information. They sent pictures of themselves (some nude), along with some very explicit descriptions of what they wanted to do to the "woman" posting the ad, as well as their telephone numbers, full names, and IM screennames.

I'm not going to get into whether or not it was morally wrong of Jason Fortuny to post all of the responses, or whether or not the men involved deserved the humiliation, but there's no question that his "experiment" was in poor taste. Where the question lies is whether or not he should be forced to shut down the site. The men volunteered their personal information, but they didn't consent to have that information posted.

Your thoughts?

**and guys, the next time you respond to a Craigslist ad, please think about guys like this one, who (I'm pretty sure) responded from his work email (along with many others). Be a little more discrete.

***note- because of the amount of traffic, the pictures on Encyclopedia Dramatica are not loading....too bad, since some of them are pretty damn juicy.

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